As the Red Ribbon Falls
by princess454
Summary: Nikoru Sagara risks life merely to gain experience in the real world as she joins up with the notorious Sekihotai. She befriends and loves as her story goes along. But will tragedy strike where a bright future is dreamed?
1. Chapter 1

As the Red Ribbon Falls

A Rurouni Kenshin Fan-Fiction

By Princess454

--

Chapter 1

--

It was a normal day. Of course it was. Apart from the current battle going on, it was a normal day.

My uncle's dojo was getting fewer and fewer of its students back; all the young lads were being shipped off to war and other military related businesses. Since I was ordered to stay put and care after my mother, I didn't have to worry about going off into anything scary like that. I could enjoy a relaxing walk to my uncle's dojo and back, like today, and not have a worry in the world.

I had worked up a good sweat today and my uncle praised me well. I could see in his eyes though, his ever growing sadness. He tells my mother that he's afraid of closing up the dojo for good. The government is asking for his help, and has been for awhile. But if my uncle goes, I wouldn't have a dojo to go too, and stay in shape. Plus his wife, my aunt, has many children to care for. All my little cousins, it would just break my uncle's heart.

I was thinking about my uncle's worries on my way back from the dojo. I thought I could worry about him, seeing as I had no worries at all. But today might as well be the only relaxing day I'll get for a long time. I knew something was up when everyone started acting nice to me all of a sudden. Not that no one acts nice to me, but everyone has to have some rivals. There is this boy who picks on me; he thinks it's wrong that I practice at a dojo so often. I know more arts of fighting than he'll ever know in his entire life. But all the same, he thinks he is better than me. I encountered him today, on my way home.

I was walking and noticed him. He was carrying flowers, and helping his elderly grandmother down from the steps of the flower shop in which he had come out of. He gave me a frightened look all of a sudden, then after that I couldn't read any more emotion out of him.

I held back a sneer, and a witty greeting. I was five years older than him and I know what you must think of me. But still, that kid was a brat. He wasn't acting like that today though. I thought maybe because we had an elder in our presence, but for some reason I knew that wasn't it.

"Good day," I greeted as I strolled by. The grandma nodded and the boy just darted his eyes away from me for a moment, then looked me in the face.

"Miss Nikoru. I've heard around town that you mustn't leave your sick mother alone for so many hours in a day. Yet, you still go to that dojo to practice," He said finally. I was taken aback by his polite way of addressing me, but he still made a point that I shouldn't go to a dojo.

"I know of my mother. Today was a good day; she felt so good I could've taken her with me to watch her daughter in action. But I did leave early after all. Are you implying that I do no care for her enough?" I asked. He scowled but his grandmother took his arm, cutting him off from saying something back.

"Come, let's go home. I hope your mother really does get well Nikoru Dear. If she ever needs a cheer up, I'll bring her some flowers," The old woman said, walking away with the boy. I nodded and continued my way home.

I wondered if the boy was right. Was the town gossiping about me not caring for my mother enough? I think they just don't want me to practice such manly arts. Then again, there were loads of girls who went to the dojo. Putting those unnecessary thoughts aside, I stopped by a small market to buy more tea herbs, the sky displaying proudly that tonight will most likely be a cold one.

--

When I came home, my mother was sitting at a chair, reading. She looked pale as always, since she was sick, but had that unmistakable twinkle in her eyes that she believed everything in her world was perfect. Sometimes I wonder if she even cares about being so sick, and knowing she will never get better. I'd go crazy finding out such a thing, but my mother was casual as well as calm about everything relating to the subject. With my father going off to fight in the battle of Toba Fushimi, you'd think she would also be saddened. He has been gone for a long time, but his last words to me were still fresh and clear:

"I'm going now. I know you are old enough to care for yourself alone as well as your mother, whom you know needs more care than anyone. When I come back, I'll be ever so grateful to see your faces again, but until then I'm counting on you." Then he had patted my head, and had simply gone.

I've kept my promise; Mother is being cared for by me and with the help of our few house servants. When Father does come back, which I hope will be soon, I know he will be pleased to see that Mom is still healthy and awaiting his return. Secretly, I know Mom is trying her hardest to stay strong, merely to help me in convincing my dad that I could have cared for her easily.

But of course it wasn't easy. Sometimes she was so sick, I had to request help from the servants, and all this sometimes during the middle of the night. I couldn't even look at her sometimes. She'd be vomiting and shaking, and it was as if I was watching some other woman take over. When the doctor is sometimes called upon during the worst stages, after he's gone everything is calm again. Mother is back. The monster that she was hours ago was long gone…until next time.

She doesn't know it, but sometimes her sickness really hurts me as well. When she's in a really bad state, I sometimes blame myself. It's not my fault, I know, but there's always that idea in the back of my head that I could've done better; I could have done more for her. But thankfully her last episode was awhile ago, and none had been coming back. She was so well that she could read on a chair, like she was now, or walk for awhile.

"Nikoru darling, what's in the basket?" Mother asked as I came nearer and placed the small basket on the table.

"Tea herbs. Tonight will be pretty cold, I know you'll need as well as like them," I replied. As if on cue one of our favorite servants, a young maid named Mei, came in and took the basket to take to the kitchen.

"How is your uncle?" Mother asked closing her book. I helped her get out of the chair, and she also placed a hand on the table for balance.

"Fine, I guess. He told me I'm doing very well with my practices, but when I look at him, it is on his face as clear as day that he wishes he were praising more students and running a successful dojo once again like in the old days," I replied. "I think he might just leave after all."

"Oh…how very disappointing. If he does leave, what dojo will you go to next?" Mother asked. My mother supported my training and thought it a good source of exercise and discipline for a young lady, especially during these times. She herself, as a young girl before marrying father, would help out and teach others at her father's dojo which is now my uncle's and her brother's.

"I…I don't think I'll go to any," I replied finally, not looking at her. She stood firmly on two feet now and let go of my arm.

"Not one Nikoru? There are many good ones other than my side of the family's dojo. Why is it that you give up on the idea so easily?" She asked trying to get me to look at her.

"This is not the time to be worrying about such things. We are on the brink of the Revolution; you're sick and I must stay home more often anyway to care for you. I would be doing well for both of us and keeping Father's promise as well," I explained and finally did look at her.

"If it is me you're worried about, you know I'm fine. When you go to training; that is when I sleep, so when you come back I'm feeling better. And also, the government's actions are for them to worry about, and not a mere eighteen year old girl such as yourself." Mother gathered my long light brown hair in her tender hands, and stroked the side bang that hides my left eye away from my face so I could see her with both my eyes. "You have such pretty green eyes. Why do you hide one, so as the other one is all alone?" She asked for the millionth time.

"I guess it makes my training more challenging for a change," I replied jokingly and in reply as well I also took my hair back from her, continuing to have that wavy bang hovering in front of my eye. I knew it drove her crazy, she always said I should pin it up like everyone else, even though she herself wears her long hair loose on her shoulders. But then again she never leaves the house, though I never remembered her pinning it up, even before she was sick.

"Tell Mei to make that tea now," Mother said faintly as she walked slowly to a sitting carpet. I did tell Mei, and after putting all my stuff away and taking a quick bath the tea was already set up and I joined Mother. The night went on as if it would never end, and nothing troubling would interrupt it. If only that were true.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

--

The letter came at dawn tomorrow. I was already up, roaming around the backyard out of boredom. I sometimes wish I could sleep a little later, but due to some training I did this past Summer I've been waking up before the sun even rises everyday. In order to take full advantage of the challenge my uncle bestowed upon me I had to wake up really early throughout it. I had liked waking up before everyone else, having the world to myself. The air seemed fresher, the sky more renewed. But it seemed today that, not only was I not the only one awake, but I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep again.

Mei had already woken up and was preparing a small breakfast. My mother was fast asleep and I dared not intrude her. Both Mei and I heard the slow gallop of a horse soon after a moment, and I made my way to the front of the house.

The man was from the police department and handed me a letter. "Give my regards to your mother," He simply said and went off. I didn't open it; my mother would be the one to do so. Mei nervously went to the kitchen so as not to be seen. I ate my food quietly and helped my mother out of bed when she awoke. After her breakfast, I finally pulled the letter from my waist strap.

"Mother, a letter came. A police officer had delivered it. I'm guessing it is from the government," I said and carefully held it out. She looked at it for awhile, her face expressionless.

"Thank you for not opening it," Mother finally said. She held it in her hands like a bomb. I pursed my lips and anxiously awaited. Finally, she opened it and began to read. I tried to find some kind of emotion in her eyes or face but there was none. Finally, she had a small smile, and a little tear ran down her face. I couldn't tell if this was good or bad. The suspense was killing me as I fought to stay still and quiet where I was. Without a word she handed it to me and said something about going to take a nap in an almost inaudible voice. I quickly started to read as soon as she left the room.

"2nd year of Keiou, 1866…," I began with the date. The letter was so fancy it even displayed the date in Western form, reading "November 3." But I then started to read in my mind the words on the letter. I read it too fast the first time and didn't process the information it gave. I think I read it about ten times before putting it down.

"Miss, your mother's bath is ready. Is she asleep?" Mei asked coming out of nowhere.

"Uh, yes, she is in her room…," I replied. Mei saw the sadness in my face, and all of a sudden wrung her hands nervously.

"Did the letter mention anything about your father?" Mei asked quietly. I nodded in reply.

"It's strange how a single sheet of paper could hold so much grief," I said more to myself in a low voice. Mei's hand flew to her face and she went white. "It could have been worse," I continued to ease her anxiety. "At least we know he is safe and sound wherever Heaven may be."

The words coming out of my mouth seemed to be someone else's. I would never say such a thing, but I had actually taken those words from a book I read once. My favorite character had spoken them, and like all the other wise words she spoke I memorized them and wished I could say them to someone so they would think I was just as wise. This was a good time, and Mei instantly got relaxed at the thought.

"Precious words that are just as wise, and might as well be taken seriously Miss," Mei said appraisingly.

"Of course they should be taken seriously. It is only the truth. Is Mother taking this news well…?" I asked worriedly. I had just read that my father was proclaimed dead, but I just cared that my mother was taking it alright.

"Oh, right, I should check on her." Mei hastily left the room. I'm guessing she'll be the first one out of all of us to shed the first tears of mourning. Mei is a very sensitive girl, very fragile. Seeing as how I'm the complete opposite, I think I'll cry last. But when I do, I'll make it meaningful. But once that is done, I'll go on with my life. Hopefully my mother will too. Will she still have the strength and hope to survive, though my father is gone? Was he perhaps the only thing she was hanging on too?

--

Turns out my mother was just fine. She ate regularly and had her usual nap, even though today I didn't go to the dojo. My uncle would understand. I itched to go, but I had to stay home. Especially now, since my family was supposedly in "mourning". Mei instantly put on a blackened silk kimono, and requested for a trip into town to pray. My mother excused all our servants to do so, so the house was quiet with only the two of us.

"When will we go?" I asked her as she sipped her tea quietly.

"On a fresh morning. Perhaps tomorrow? You will be able to borrow a mourning kimono from me, seeing as you have none. Do you?" Mother asked.

"No, I don't think I do," I replied fiddling with a strand of hair. I felt her eyes on me all of a sudden.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked softly. I looked up at her first, then out our screen door where the bare trees whispered slightly with the autumn wind.

I was thinking about my father, but not only that. I was thinking about the battle he was in. It had ended, around a week ago. My father probably died some time then, perhaps even earlier. What was the government up to now? I suddenly had an urge to know. I wanted to be around it, to know _something_. Maybe even know things ahead from others. I do know though, that our household doesn't get information that fast, almost not at all.

I wanted to change that, because if a number of men died at that battle, I wanted to know right away. Not weeks later! I hardly go into town, my mother never of course. The servants, who buy groceries and such, go to the markets. But even then our town does not know much. Moreover, I didn't want to just sit here, awaiting news day after day.

"I want to…leave," I said. My mother raised an eyebrow. I looked down, but I thought this isn't something I should feel weakened by. A lot of causes out there needed more people, especially those with skills! I was thinking wild and crazy ideas. But they could be done. I could be part of something that helps the country instead of sitting here, unable to go to the dojo, unable to even receive sufficient news about the things that are taking part of people's lives everyday.

"Surely you don't mean you want to go out there and join the army or something, and get yourself killed too?" My mother asked with worried eyes.

"Not _the_ army. Would I even be allowed? Anyway, I want to join _something_, Mother. I want to know what's going on out there and help out. I won't exactly be taking Father's place, but I'll be helping in achieving what he wanted to achieve himself…," I explained. All these thoughts had been circling around since I read that letter. Now I'm putting them out there, for my mother to hear them. I just hope she won't ignore them.

"What about the tasks you have to do here, at home?" She asked. I looked up at her, not believing that I truly forgot. She was indicating about her, she couldn't stay home alone without my care.

"You wouldn't exactly be alone, Mom. You have Mei, and the others. They know the drills and schedules, and requirements, and-," I started finishing my thoughts out loud. She shook her head. "Mother!" I protested. "Be reasonable!"

"I won't have you leave me as well. I understand you're old enough, and you want to go do something for yourself. But it's _dangerous_ out there, for goodness sake, more so now than ever! Do you honestly think you're ready for something like this?" She asked frowning. I would have replied, but her expression indicated all the signs that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"I'm going for a walk," I announced softly, getting up. I heard my mom sigh as I walked outside and started to walk quickly through our gate to the main road. I was going to see if anything supported my cause by showing some sign that I should do what I had in mind. The town didn't have any news, nor were there many people there either. A lot of the people were probably receiving their government letters, informing them about their relatives gone off in the battle. I did spot a group of boys though, knapsacks tied to a branch poised on some of their shoulders. I was curious, so I approached them.

They stopped conversing as I came to them, and I smiled briefly. "Hello there," I greeted them. They nodded back, still looking at me suspiciously.

"Say, would you mind telling me why some of you look as though you're ready to set off traveling by yourselves?" I asked. One of the boys gripping a knapsack hoisted it over his shoulder, nodding.

"There's a civilian unit gathering recruits up the road pretty soon, we are all going to apply," The boy replied. I scrutinized the group after he said that. They were all pretty young, and to my surprise I spotted the boy who picks on me, the one with the elderly grandmother.

"A unit you say? If it's recruiting civilians, then I suppose they'll take about anyone. Do you know any more about this unit? What is it called?" I asked, thinking this over in my head. Was this the sign I was hoping for just awhile ago?

"They are the Sekihotai. Yes, I do suppose they'll take anyone, but the basics apply still. No one younger than 10 years of age, no elders, no wo-," The boy started but I cut him off.

"-Women? I'm sure they'll accept women," I said with an air. The boy turned red, as if he just noticed I was a girl.

"I-I suppose they will, but really I don't know. The other thing I know is that the Sekihotai are to advance before the actual Revolutionary Army of Japan, and we gather intelligence about future targets. After my uncle died in the Toba Fushimi battle, and I not being old enough for something bigger, after I found out about this 'Sekihotai' I thought it a good idea to join. Doesn't it sound like a good cause?" The boy asked proudly and hoisted his knapsack again.

"Yes, it does actually. My father died in that battle as well. I wanted something like this, a cause that will keep me informed and in the midst of the action. It sounds almost too perfect! Where exactly can you apply?" I asked happily.

"They won't accept girls!" A particularly fat boy suddenly spat. I was going to reply when the boy who picks on me pushed his way forward.

"Nikoru is an exception. I know for a fact they accept women, my own sister is applying for the Sekihotai," He said quietly, looking up at me. "She's basic but Nikoru isn't. She'll be a good member for the Sekihotai, and no one should say otherwise!" He gave the fat boy a glare that sent him to the back of the group. I smiled at the boy who might not pick on me anymore, but actually help me.

"Thanks. For the information of all of you, I have trained in a dojo longer than either of you were alive. Well, perhaps not _that_ long…," I added blushing for it sounded as if I was proclaiming myself old. "But anyway, I will apply, whether you think I shouldn't or not. Now once again I'll ask you, where do you apply?" I asked.

The boy with the knapsack pointed up the road. "We're to meet at dusk at the entrance of the town, up the road. A captain of one of the squads will take us to the temporary encampment, where they'll probably distribute us to different squads. There are quite a few, the Sekihotai have been traveling around for awhile recruiting! I don't know exactly where we are to go with it, but I heard it's going to be far away. You better bid your farewells to your family," The boy said, looking as if he needed to do that himself before he left.

"Thank you, you've all been great help," I said smiling, and then glared at the fat kid. "Well, maybe not you so much, but anyway thanks!" I waved at them as they nodded. I turned around and made to go home. I had to pack and tell my mother of my plans.

She'll have to understand that this is an opportunity I can't let pass. Didn't I say I wanted more information? This Sekihotai seems to have a plan on receiving it before even the great Revolutionary Army of Japan itself! If I'm lucky, we might not even have to go through too many battles. Just knowing that I'm about to help my country a little more than I could've done just sitting at my house, made me feel like it didn't matter much what it did or did not do. Now, once again, I just hope my mother will understand…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3



I was in my room, quietly putting in only the few things I'd need into a knapsack, like the group of boys from town. I was anxious in going, but I knew I had too. Incase you're wondering I haven't told my mother yet…I've even considered leaving behind only a letter of my departing. It would have been easier, but letters have been bringing her too much bad news lately. I had though, told Mei as soon as I got home. Excited as I was, it just slipped out. The look of fear on her face reminded me that not everyone was going to think my leaving as exciting.

"Miss Nikoru! You can't leave to join some _army_,your poor old mother!" Mei had slapped her hand to her heart, as if my leaving was slowly killing her inside.

"Mei, I'm counting on you to take my place! I _have_ to join this army…it's what I've been hoping for ever since Father's death letter. He wanted to bring about the new era, but died attempting to do so. I will do so in his place instead." I looked at her with such determination her tears stopped.

"Oh…just please be careful!" Mei breathed bowing at my feet. "Your mother can't cope with more grief!"

"I promise you, I'll come back safe and sound," I said softly, helping her up. "Now, the hardest thing I have to worry about at the moment is telling her what I am going to do."

Mei had nodded and promised not to say a word. I then had left to my room, to pack my things. Now here I am, ready to go this very minute even though I had a few hours. I had tied my hair up in a pony tail, but no matter how hard I tried that side bang loosed itself every time and fell loosely over my eye. I swiped it with my hand frustrated but it swung back, determined to stay where it was just as I was determined to leave my home. I left it alone and walked to our main room, dropping my knapsack in a corner. Mei crept in nervously and walked over to me quickly.

"Your mother is taking a bath. Are you sure you're going to leave?" Mei asked in low tones as if we weren't the only ones in the room.

"Mei, I'm going and that's it. You think I'm not sad to leave? My mother herself told me I shouldn't do this but I have too. When I do leave, whether on her accord or not, please help me in convincing her to understand. And keep your promise to care for her!" I said.

"Miss Nikoru, there's nothing else I rather do. I and the others will care for her like we have been doing, whether you are here or not," Mei assured me, patting my arm.

I smiled at her in gratitude. "Thank you once again. Now, I probably have an hour or so before I must make my way up the road, so I'm going to tell mother as soon as she's done with her bath. If you need too, console her after I leave, and-," I started but Mei started to smile and I stopped.

"Everything will be fine Miss Nikoru! Go on, tell your mother. I'll make you a farewell snack to eat while you go to…well, wherever you are going and don't you start to forget the best cook you know!" Mei said and I laughed.

"I never will!" I replied and with new confidence that at least someone believes in me, I went to wait for my mother in the corridor. She came out and looked at me in surprise.

"Nikoru! Why do you wait for me all alone in the corridor?" Mother asked smiling jokingly. I gave her a small smile back.

"Mother…I have to discuss with you something," I said and led her to her own room. She came in before I did, and set to brushing her long hair with a Western brush Father had bought for her. I remained in the door way and when she finally put the brush down, she gave me her undivided attention.

"Well, darling? What is it that you wish to discuss with me so seriously?" She asked, even though I had a feeling she knew already.

"I walked into town, as you know. There I found out about this civilian unit whose gathering recruits later today…and I wanted to apply. There's a lot more to it, Mother, I mean they have so many people already in it. They have squads! They're pro-Imperialists, like Father was. I want to join, help out, whatever I can. Who knows if another one of these units will show up later in time? There's one now, and I have already packed to apply. There's nothing for me here to help Japan, and I have already…made up my mind," I explained. I let out a breath after my hard speech.

"Nice speech. Made up your mind, you say? That's good…you are already learning how to make decisions…and from what I can tell you won't let anyone stand in your way," Mother said after awhile, looking up at me while smiling weakly.

"I know earlier you said you wanted none of this. But today is the only day I can join! I know I won't be keeping Father's promise in caring for you, but you have the servants and Mei, most importantly. She has already sworn to me that she will care for you and I believe her, of course," I replied. I then indicated out the door. "My stuff is already out there, waiting. And so is Mei, with a snack for me. She says not to forget who the best cook I know is," I added and Mother laughed.

"She's right, don't you forget her, this house, nor should you forget me. I'll let you go in peace," Mother said and embraced me.

"So you're letting me go?" I asked out loud, not meaning to sound so surprised. Mother laughed again.

"Of course! You want to do this don't you? Then go on ahead. I can't stop you, obviously, so what more could I do then bid farewell?" She asked and kissed my forehead. "I hope you bring about the new era with the strength and courage only a woman could muster."

I smiled at her bold words. "I didn't know you would take it so easily. For that, I promise I'll come back as early as I can, and just as I promised to Mei I promise to you I'll come safe and sound," I said solemnly, and with a final hug that I myself gave to my mom I left her room and went to find Mei with that snack my stomach awaited.

She was standing waiting near my knapsack, the little bag containing the snack in her hand. "You look so happy! I take it that she allowed you to set off then?" Mei asked.

"Yes, she allowed me to go and I have already said farewell to her," I said taking the snack while licking my lips.

"Now, don't you eat that already! Save it for it will probably be the only decent food you'll have for a while," Mei joked and I laughed. She walked outside with me, until we reached the gate.

"Good bye Mei, I'm going off," I said and hugged her. She had watery eyes, but I could tell she was trying hard not to cry. She knew that I knew she already cried a little too much about almost everything. Mei tucked in a strand of hair behind my ear, bowed, then turned towards the house, making her way over there. I closed the gate, waved to my house in secret, and left. Within the last steps I took that remained in front of the house, I wished with all my heart that my mother would be alright. I wished Mei would be alright too, and that she will care for my mother just as I would. After all that wishing, I stopped at the last post holding up the gate that surrounded my house. I dug into my knapsack and pulled out one of my hair ribbons that I use to tie my hair up, or keep it away from my face when I train. I tied it around the post, a brilliantly colored red ribbon, and with the last few ties I wished once again for everyone's peace and happiness here. With that final thought, I turned away from the ribbon and walked up the road. I have officially left everything behind, and am going to start something new in my life. I couldn't have been more excited.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4



As I walked closer and closer up the road, more young men left their houses and made a sort of group together, all walking up the same road as I. I remained far from them, just steadily walking in my own pace. I felt a hand on my shoulder once, and spun towards them then jumped out, ready to attack if I had too. To my surprise it was just the boy with the grandmother, the one who used to pick on me, and the one who helped me earlier. He chuckled and put his hand up in peace.

"You wouldn't really attack me would you? I just wanted to greet you and congratulate you on actually coming. I recognized you at once when I saw you walking solely up the road," He said. I straightened up normally and ran a few fingers through my bang, embarrassed.

"I didn't mean to surprise you like that…it's just that now, you really can never know," I replied and then smiled at him. "Thanks on the congratulations…there really was no way I'd miss this chance." I then turned around and walked up the road again.

But he ran up to me again. "I hope you don't mind if I walk with you. Half of my other friends didn't even show up," He said and I wasn't surprised by this information.

I just nodded, not really caring in who joined me or not. The designated area to meet was not far off, just a yard or so. I saw the group who was ahead already stationed there, standing, waiting. There were mostly older guys of course, but I saw about a dozen boys my age and under. No girls. Was the boy who claimed his own sister was joining speaking lies? I was looking forward to meeting her.

"What of your sister? You said she was joining," I said to him. He nodded solemnly at my question.

"She's already in a squad. Third one to be exact, so if you would like to meet her you'd best hope you get in to that one," He replied. He acted like his sister and I were possibly the only girls ever to join this thing. Were we perhaps the only ones?

We stopped a few feet away from the main group to wait. It wasn't long until finally an older man on horseback came riding towards us. He instructed us to follow him, and of course not before he gave me a rather puzzled glance causing everyone else to suddenly notice I was amongst them. I looked away as if I didn't notice the sudden attention, and just followed everyone else.

We finally came upon a rather large encampment, with men everywhere dealing about with their own tasks. There were three major rows of tents, and all the tents in row one had a number one painted on them with a bright red paint. All the tents in row two had a two painted on them, and so forth. We were suddenly ordered to halt on the hill we were currently standing on, glancing above the encampment. Before I knew it, the man on horseback was dividing our one group into three groups. I looked up from the camp just in time to find out I was to go with the third unit, along with the boy and apparently, I added in my mind, with his sister. Everyone walked down the hill to their row of tents, and I joined my small group heading towards the third row of tents.

"What are we to do once we get there? I wasn't listening. I was looking towards the camp," I whispered to the boy. He laughed looking at me.

"You expect to be successful in an army with not listening?" He asked.

"No, that wasn't it at all. Tell me honestly that you weren't as well taken over by the camp's look," I challenged him.

"I agree it is rather over-whelming. Just look how big it is! Alright, well that man on horseback told us to just meet at our row of tents. Were only to stay here though until December I think," He replied.

"Stay at the camp until December? And then where shall we go?" I asked, but the boy merely shrugged. I saw him look this way and that, apparently looking for his sister. I walked away from him to claim a tent, but each one I entered contained a man or two who just gave me a dirty look. I sighed and walked once again towards another tent but a voice called for me.

"Missy! Hey, girl, stop!" A man's voice called. I didn't hesitate to look around to find out who he was talking too; it was too obvious it was me. I was a bit upset over not finding a tent with a suitable tent mate in it, so I turned around rather roughly.

"Yes?" I asked the man, with an annoyed glance. He straightened up and told me his news. "You are to follow me. We already have a tent reserved for you, so no need to look for one. Besides, none of these men would consider sharing one with you other wise," He said. I glared at him more, but he had turned and started to walk. I followed him to locate my reserved tent.

He pushed open the flap for me at least, and I walked in to find two cots like all the other tents, except the one to my right had someone's possessions already laid upon it. The man had gone so I walked closer to the unoccupied cot and set my knapsack on top of it. I wondered where my tent mate was, and who it was. My question was answered when I took a moment to relax, so I sat on the cot and stared blankly at the opposite tent wall. The flap was suddenly pushed open, and a girl about my age came in. She was wearing Men's garb, a tan pair of loose pants with a matching tunic. She had long black hair in which she wore loose, and had a red sort of headband pushed up against her forehead. Actually, most of the men outside roaming around the camp wore a red head band or red bandana. I had many red hair ribbons--some wide enough to look like a head band as well--other then the one I had left at my house, and in the back of my mind I told myself to later tie one around my head like everyone else's.

Meanwhile the girl had these dark green eyes, in which I sort of recognized. She seemed to recognize me as well, but I'm sure I've never met her in my life. I sat there looking at her as she looked at me too, and then she finally came in the tent and let the flap fall back to place.

"Are you the girl my brother mentioned?" She asked. Ah, now I knew! Her brother, the boy, had the same eyes. I nodded and stood up.

"My name is Nikoru. I was hoping I wouldn't be the only girl here," I said.

She gave a small smile and nodded. "I don't care if I'm the only one or there are others that are girls here as well. I saw you looking at my head band, and I'm sure you noticed while you were outside that almost everyone wears one. It's sort of the Sekihotai unofficial uniform accessory, and if you really want to show your pride then of course you'd wear one. Do you have something of the sort that you can use?" She asked.

I nodded, and dug into my knapsack once again for a ribbon. But this time, I made sure to get a red one again, but not a normal thin one. I found a wide, red silk ribbon and tied it around my head, tying it firmly at the back of my neck. When I was finished, the ribbon looked just like a headband, on my forehead, but it was long enough that along with my ponytail the two end strands of the ribbon flowed gently alongside with the hair that I had tied up much earlier, when I was once back at my own house.

The girl nodded once I looked at her. "Even though it's silk, and actually a hair ribbon, it will do and looks good. Also, with those of us with long hair it's a good accessory so as to not have some of our hair strands get in the way of our training," She said, and I laughed softly.

"That's true," I agreed, tightening my pony tail and wondering what I should do next. What were the members to do now, anyway? There weren't any specific orders specified.

As the girl rummaged through her own things, I then remembered she never stated her name. "Say, do you have a name or should I make one up for you?" I joked to her and she turned around to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Kane, and by the looks of it no one told you what to do, huh?" Kane asked.

I shook my head. "All I know so far is that I'm tent mates with you, I'm in the third squad, and that's about it," I replied. Kane shrugged a shoulder.

"I applied here awhile ago, and know the basics. Since they planned for you to be with me, I guess they expected me to show you the ropes. By the way, were there any other girls in the new comer group along with ya?" Kane asked.

"No, I was the only one. As I walked all the way to the third row of tents, I saw none either. I think were the only two," I replied, saying aloud my thoughts.

"Don't fret, if you're actually worried about that stuff. There are other girls, few, very few, but there are. It's just you and me though in the third squad, so I better go on ahead and show you around," Kane said and made her way out of the tent. I followed her, asking if the squads usually meet or meddle around with each other.

"Not really. The squads are pretty big, so you stay in your own. Of course the whole army moves and acts together, but when we're traveling or just camping the units remain with their own cadets. Of course there will be countless times when each squad has its own mission, that's inevitable. That's why there ARE different squads in the first place. If we really did do the same missions together, it'd just be one giant squad," Kane explained.

I understood what she meant. I didn't really see any reason to meddle with the other units, I was really just wondering. I took this time to get more of the questions in my head answered.

"Who's our Captain?" I asked as we made our way through tent after tent, men multi tasking with all sorts of things from putting up more tents to even assembling guns. I jumped when a sudden small explosion boomed and Kane took my arm, leading me the way she was going for I was blind when smoke invaded the air.

"You'll get used to it," Kane told me once it was clear again and I could see her moving in front of me. "Anyway, the Sekihotai have three major Captains, each in charge, as you can very well see, of their own unit. First unit would be the best of the best, high ranking Captain Sagara. Second unit is Captain..." I didn't hear the rest, not even our own unit's captain's name. First because there was another explosion, the other reason because I noticed the biggest tent I had ever seen in my life, especially among all these littler ones.

I nodded to Kane, just so she wouldn't have to repeat herself, and realized we headed towards the enormous tent. "Where is it that we're going exactly?" I asked Kane, who had long since let go of my arm and walked as if she had forgotten I was trotting behind her.

"We're going to supper. Can't you see the sun's almost all the way down behind the mountains? That big tent there, that's where the members eat. Not the fanciest place, but its food," Kane replied and I followed her in the big tent, where indeed it did seem that the whole army was sitting around eating. "C'mon newbie, if you don't follow you'll get lost."

I focused on following Kane's voice, and her gleaming black hair. I sort of expected people to let her through, for Kane walked and acted as if she herself was one of the Captains of the Sekihotai. If not that, then at least they'd let her through because she was a woman. But I was proven wrong, as I followed close behind Kane who was struggling to make her way through a group of men who seemed to block her way on purpose.

"What's the rush Kane?" One man asked. Two others joined him and asked the same question.

"Oh, quit being asses, let me through before I make you throw up what your filthy stomachs already devoured," Kane replied menacingly. The men continued to treat her as a tease, and I wondered what Kane would do. She had such menacing glare, she didn't look at all like the girl who had greeted me for the first time moments ago. Instinctively, I took a little step back, and to my surprise I did so just as Kane leaped up and struck the main man at his throat once with the side of her hand.

The base of the man's throat turned a slight purple and he gasped to breathe.

"Now let us through, already. Must I always play this game when I'm just trying to eat?" Kane grumbled and stepped over the man who had fallen on his knees. Suddenly, I admired Kane and wanted to be like her, quick in attack and knowing what she was doing. Her words were true whether she was being sarcastic or not. I truly believed she thought all this a game.

I had looked back to see the man again but Kane has shoved a wooden tray at me and I looked down at it, then back at her. "What you did back there, that was awesome!" I said as I followed her, abstractedly placing different foods on my tray. The corners of her mouth turned up into a small satisfied smile.

"It's already hard being among a bunch of morons, but when you're a woman they seem to turn stupider. You have to learn to treat them like what they are, and that's scum. And how do you treat scum?" Kane asked me as we walked to a far corner of the tent to sit down on the floor.

"Um…," I replied, taking a slow sip of the tasteless soup they had served.

"Now, now, that's not the answer. The man who picked your newcomer group up, he saw a girl among them at once and placed you with me instead of letting you fend for yourself. He thought you'd need some guidance as to how the Sekihotai runs, but there is so much more. Unwritten rules that aren't even rules in the first place, for everyone breaks them, which even that is technically a rule as well. The men who placed you with me, were most likely the Captain's advisors. They think very little of the normal ranked members, yet when I applied they told me I could have a tent of my own. Now, here you are applying as well, another girl they have to worry about. They should have treated us like everyone else, but for some reason they think we're weaker because we're women, so they showed us a little mercy. Therefore, like I said before, instead of leaving you wandering around, probably getting beaten up by the second day, they placed you with me. They know I know the Sekihotai well, and that I'm one of their best members. So even though it was out of pity, it was a very good thing you're with me now. Not only will I show you the basics, but I'm planning on showing you more. That little show I displayed back there was a perfect example as to what you can be up against here. We are going to be treated differently, preferably for the worst, so we must learn different rules then everyone else. Now…that was my speech," Kane finished explaining.

I hadn't touched anything as I listened to her talk. I was infused with her words, careless of what was going on around me. My soup, still in my hands right in front of my mouth ready to be sipped, had already turned cold so I put it down to eat something else. But as I took another bite of a hard biscuit, Kane dusted her pants off and stood up. I did the same to my black kimono, which I added in my thoughts that I should most likely change to something more comfortable and appropriate to where I am. I had packed two pairs of training clothes that resembled Kane's, just a regular shirt and pants, and then there was this kimono I had just carelessly left home with without returning it to my mother.

I caught Kane inspecting my kimono. "I'm sorry…I had left home with it on. I have more appropriate clothes in my knapsack, back at the tent," I said quickly.

"Who are you in mourning for?" Kane simply asked as we left the tent into a chilled air, and midnight blue sky.

"My father, but I have no time to be in mourning anymore, nor can I train and be in an army with a kimono on," I replied.

"True." Kane gave me a friendly glance then looked forward again. We made no detours, as to which Kane explained she'd do tomorrow when it was daylight again.

"Will tomorrow also be the day when you will begin teaching me the ways of being a Sekihotai woman?" I inquired and Kane smiled as she opened the tent for me to go in fist.

"Yes, tomorrow will be the day. Some first off advice: Get a good night's sleep," Kane warned me and I nodded as I laughed. As I put my knapsack to the floor and uncovered the small stiff cot, a dagger was suddenly flown lightly on my bed. I turned to Kane, surprised.

"First rule, never remain even a second unprotected or without some sort of weapon on you. This applies whether you're awake _or_ asleep, whether you're on duty or not. I'll give you one of my spare daggers for now, but always keep that first rule in the back of your mind," Kane explained and finally turned back to her own cot.

I inspected the small yet harmful weapon in my hands, then placed it gently under my pillow. I'd take Kane's first rule of protection to heart whether I was in the Sekihotai or not.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5



Kane shook me awake and I reluctantly opened my eyes to find her already dressed and more awake then I was anyway. I raised my head and squinted until I could make out the color of the sky from the open tent flap, and once I saw what time of the day it was, I groaned and slammed my head back on my pillow.

"Laziness now all of a sudden eh? Doesn't seem like you have the potential to be in the Sekihotai after all!" Kane proclaimed. I could tell she had that cocky smile by her tone of voice, and I replied by laughing sarcastically. I finally rolled onto my back and rubbed my eyes.

"I have the potential, and I usually wake up earlier then this back at my house. I guess yesterday I was awfully tired from all the…excitement," I said yawning.

"Well, you better get that boost of confidence again. We should get up early to have breakfast first, you know, before the tent gets too crowded, then we can start training. It'll be fun, I promise," Kane said and pulled my arm up so I got out of bed.

I changed into training clothes, re-tied my Sekihotai band firmly around my head and under my hair, and followed Kane out of the tent and once again through the 3rd squad tent area. There wasn't the bustle from yesterday, just a few men here and there talking, strolling, or transporting wooden logs for fires.

Kane and I wasted no time getting breakfast, eating it, and then making our way outside again. I hadn't spoken a word until then, now I watched Kane as she went inside a certain tent, and came back out with two long wooden poles used for training.

"I stopped training with poles awhile ago," I informed her as she tossed one at me and I caught it. Kane smiled in reply but didn't take the pole I offered back to her.

"I suppose you mean you train with a _shinai_ now, huh?" Kane asked, referring to the light weight wooden sword that I used for training at my uncle's dojo. I nodded but she still didn't take my pole back.

"Unfortunately, we don't have those here. We train with poles and fight with swords, so you'll have to get used to both. But I am grateful to find out you have some training in you so you just made my job a lot easier," Kane explained.

"_Some_ training? I'll have you know I've been training and practicing fighting arts since I was 12, I'd go to my uncle's dojo everyday. I know sword techniques as well as no weapon combat, using my fists or feet," I told her proudly.

Kane continued on with that casual smile and made no movement. I was hoping to impress her, because though I was already 18 and pretty tall I still had a young face and Kane probably thought I was around 15 and weak.

"That's all very good and useful. I'm not saying I'm not impressed, I am, really, and also glad there's finally someone around here like me who actually knows some sort of fighting art. Most of these morons just run around with a sword or club in their hands, knocking over anything or anyone that comes in their path and goodness knows what will happen once we are in battle and they are given guns to use," Kane said and I laughed. "Which is another thing," Kane continued, "We also use guns, rifles, and a lot of it. Have you ever held one or used one?"

"No."

"I thought so. It's ok, when I first came here I hadn't the slightest idea how one looked like in the first place. It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it, but we don't need to be placing a rifle in your hands now. Since our camp is currently in resting grounds, the best thing to do in the spare time we have is train and stay in shape," Kane lowered her hand on the pole and picked it up, making her way somewhere. I gripped my pole also and followed her. I hadn't really thought of the rifles here, though I've seen some already. I guess it never went through my head I'd be one of those people out there in the field with a rifle in their hands, killing people. Would I really have the guts to even hold such a deadly thing? I haven't really planned to use my fighting skills to kill anyone, but it will be inevitable that some blood must be shed since being in an army and all. Kane led me farther away from the camp, so we were alone in a field of grass and the daily sounds of the camp had dimmed. This was a peaceful area, so I pushed away the thought of me shooting things with a rifle away from my mind.

Kane knew most of the drills I knew as well, some new ones too. We had fun sharing different ideas on techniques and certain moves. I've known Kane for only a day, and already felt as if I knew her like an old friend. But by the end of our training I knew more about her, and she knew more about me, as we talked a lot while we practiced. I found out Kane was actually 19, almost turning 20. Her brother was that boy from my own town, and she explained that she lived in a dojo some far off place near the mountains, where she trained everyday with her sensei. That was the reason I hadn't really seen her anywhere near my town at any time, because she wasn't even living there with her own family. She wanted a break and found out about the Sekihotai, joining it in hopes of meeting her brother as well as serving for a good cause, putting her skills to use.

I told her about my house, and how training at my uncle's dojo was like. I told her of all the servants and especially Mei, the kind hearted girl who is caring after my mother for me just so I could have this chance of being part of the Revolution. Though the life in my town was peaceful and not as affected by the Revolution as many other towns were, I told Kane about my father's death, the day I got the letter, and also about my mom and her terminal disease. And after all that she still was mainly surprised after the fact that I told her I was actually 18, and when I told her it wasn't a lie, the memories of my old lifestyle faded away slightly since coming back as Kane and I laughed softly in the warm sun and grass.



"Well Nikoru-kun, that was a lovely day of training wasn't it?" Kane asked me as we walked back to camp from the field, as the sun set low behind the great mountains visible from the clear territory.

"Indeed," I agreed, smiling at her. Our chats, training, and fun were the highlights of this day, and I wondered if we could do it again tomorrow. But at the same time, I wondered when the army would get a move on to an official mission. Now, Kane and I walked to the eating tent for an early supper. She told me earlier when I asked, that she herself is not sure when the army plans to move again. She also teased me about wanting to get a move on it already in the army when today was only my second day.

"Eh, I don't care! I came here in the first place for that didn't I? If I came here to train, I could have stayed at home," I had replied, even though in the back of my mind I reflected on the fact that my uncle no longer ran his dojo.

We made our way in the tent, half of the usual crowd already inside. The men already here were usually the sensible ones, those who took the Sekihotai seriously and like Kane and I actually trained once in awhile to get the most out of it. But they were also very quiet and anti-social, so I ate and talked only with Kane once again. Today we had a plain noodle dish, _soba_, that can be eaten hot or cold, which was a good thing for us being in winter and the dishes cooling rapidly. Kane ate her food carefully and quietly, and I took the time to watch some of the others in the camp.

Many men were eating alone, and there were a few groups of three or two. I closed my eyes and slurped a strand of noodle quietly, but making a light popping noise once it was officially inside my mouth. I heard a chuckle and opened my eyes, noticing new visitors to the tent. A man smiled at me briefly, and I'm guessing he was the one that chuckled, then as quickly as he came he talked to the food server people, took one last look around, then went back outside with five or so other men behind him wearing the same uniform and standing as rigid as if they were trees. The other man was nothing like them. He had walked straight and poised but had emotion on his face. His accomplices had seemed to be thinking of nothing, feeling nothing, and it was as if they had never felt anything in their lives before. That's usually how important people act, but then again, the _other_ man had smiled at me, and not only that, his men were wearing those official looking uniforms and he wore something like training clothes. Why did he have such official looking men following him?

"You can stop staring now," Kane suddenly said, breaking my thoughts. She had a grin on her face. I didn't understand and probably looked confused, which made her grin more if possible.

"What?" I asked, distracted. I could still see the man and his troupe walking around the camp, looking into different tents, as if they were on a check up routine of some sort. Nightfall was coming down faster, as if it purposely didn't want me watching the man anymore, and his hair, as dark and glistening as the midnight sky slowly blossoming at the moment, faded away. He was wearing a red band around his head like most of the other members in the Sekihotai…Was he a member from the 3rd squad I haven't seen before? With those men with him, was he perhaps a higher ranking member? Was there such a thing? I didn't think there was, seeing as how Kane is a great fighter yet she is treated like everyone else.

"Come now, let's get a good rest for I know something important will happen tomorrow," Kane suddenly said, getting up.

"How do you know?" I asked following her out of the tent, almost just like last night.

"Didn't you see that man? That was one of the Captains. I guess he was making sure everyone was here, counting them by tent. Yep, something's definitely up…to your luck, we may be getting a move on after all," Kane replied. I smiled gently, very glad inside that finally we'd be doing _something_. Kane interrupted my happy thoughts though, saying that even though we may be starting to get a move on, it wouldn't interfere with our training. I sighed and couldn't wait until the next morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6



Kane was right, and I was so joyful the next morning. Messengers went around camp crying out our Captain's message, saying we were to start taking down our tents and packing for our main mission. I still didn't know our Captain's name, and I felt a little shameful, but what the heck. I also didn't think anyone addressed him as anything else but Captain, so I'm sure if I were to meet him I'd be ok. I did get to see him though, from an ok distance. I could tell he had black hair, and a rather bushy mustache. He wore the Captain's attire with the infamous red band round his head.

I asked Kane where we were traveling too, but all she knew was that we were going to a certain "Usui Cliff" around the mountains, taking a different trail then the other units. Kane said we'd have to meet up with the others at a certain meeting spot sometime, but this is what she meant earlier then that the units do different things from each other.

In a few hours time we began moving, slowly at first, but moving. A lot of the men had more stuff to carry, but Kane and I merely traveled with knapsacks at our shoulder.

"We'll be asked to carry other things as well, just for now we don't. The Captains and officers have other men take their stuff, making it easier for them to see where we're going and handle their own pretty horses," Kane explained and I smiled, nodding.

Walking slowly gave me the chance to see other members, and how they acted. There were all sorts, each carrying their own things or more, and each probably with a different purpose of being here. There were some _goshi_, or rural samurai that roamed around the back of the group. They didn't talk to anyone. There were also plenty of _bakuto_, gamblers, whom all they did pretty much was talk loudly and such their nature, bet on different things. But mostly it was all civilians and farmers, whom probably made up around 70 of the 3rd unit at least. I saw Kane look around for possibly her brother. I've forgotten about him, and don't recall her ever reuniting with him.

"My brother should be looking for me. I've yet to meet him; he's probably lost among all these men. Would you care to help me find him?" Kane asked with a small smile.

I nodded; owing Kane a lot for all that she's done for me. I could at least help her find her brother. We tried to walk amongst all the horses and men, but we'd get yelled at or shoved when we tried to push past impatiently. I was afraid a fight would break out, and placed a hand on Kane's shoulder when she and another man started to glare at each other.

"Maybe we should wait when we've settled…," I said softly in her ear. Kane looked back towards me and shrugged. The other man rubbed his nose, and walked on.

"You didn't have to stop me. I've been in fights before. You'll be in some soon too," Kane replied. Fights? I could do civilized, fair fighting…but street brawling wasn't my thing. Nor have I even experienced it.

"I'll lay low for awhile if you don't mind," I said, tugging on my knapsack. Kane laughed, but I could see in her face that she really wanted to see her brother. I wondered if you could go up to the Captain and request a man search or something…though now that I think about it that would be a little extreme, plus it'd get us off course. We continued trudging through nothing really, nothing familiar to me anyway, until night fall. To my surprise we kept on walking till very late, and by that time I was dead tired. We set up a weak camp for just overnight, and I flopped over on top of my portable cot and fell asleep right away. No sooner had I closed my eyes did the sun start up, and Kane shook me awake.

"Would you wake up already? It's important." I opened my eyes a tad to only fuzziness, but once I was fully awake and sitting up I noticed the look on Kane's face.

"What happened? Is it your brother?" I asked hurriedly, rubbing my left eye and pulling back my bang furiously to help me see better. Kane gave a little laugh and shook her head.

"No, he's right here," She said smiling, and I saw the boy standing by her, waving at me.

"Oh, then what's the problem?" I asked, and started to pack my things, standing up with some difficulty. My legs were so terribly sore!

Kane helped me up, and we looked at each other for awhile. I could detect some worry in her, and it frightened me a bit. Her brother was fine and here, why won't she tell me what's wrong?

"Kane, why are-?"

"No, listen. Nothing's wrong, it's just that before you were awake the Captain issued some orders…one order actually. He's reducing the unit, and if he doesn't take volunteers he'll choose at random," Kane finally explained. I must have looked confused, for she added, "If some people aren't willing to switch into another unit, he'll just take a group of men and send them to another unit himself. We don't need as much men in this unit for now…he's doing this before we set out again. Were still in close range of both the other squads."

I shrugged. "What does this have to do with us? We'll let someone else volunteer. We'll all three stick together," I said. Kane and her brother shared a glance, then Kane looked down.

"Actually…I was thinking of volunteering myself-," Kane started. I gave her a look of surprise, and shook my head.

"You can't! You finally reunited with your brother…if anyone should go, it'd be me!" I said without thinking.

"That's the other thing. A few already volunteered to go with the 2nd Unit…I myself wanted to go into 1st. The bad thing is, you're right, my brother and I would be separated once again. But you can't volunteer Nikoru! You need someone to help you, you can't go in there alone…," Kane replied.

I raised an eyebrow. I'm willing to agree that Kane has been a great help, but it's not like I arrived in the Sekihotai yesterday. I already understood its rules and I could fare. My troubles weren't worth the separation of Kane and her brother, especially in these times. They may not ever see each other again!

"I learn best by myself anyway, and through my mistakes. Don't get me wrong, you've been such great help! But maybe I should continue what I started. I started alone, I should continue alone as well," I said.

Kane's brother placed a hand on his sister's shoulder. "I've known Nikoru longer then you, Sister. She can manage ANYTHING by herself." Kane looked from her brother back at me again, looking worried.

"…Do you really want to volunteer?" Kane asked me softly. I nodded. I already had my stuff packed and my mind made up. What would be the difference between unit number 3 and number 1? It's all the Sekihotai, isn't it? I'd be fine. I hope. But these thoughts didn't cause an expression behind them in my face. I smiled at Kane.

"I'll go now. That group over there, those men. They the ones switching out?" I asked, pointing. Kane nodded, tugging on her head band.

"I'll miss you Nikoru. _We'll_ miss you," Kane said to me, as a farewell. Her brother nodded. I smiled brightly at both of them, they were good friends. I appreciated their help and understanding.

"You'll see. One day, we'll meet up again. We'll bring about the Revolution together!" I called out cheerfully. Kane and her brother laughed and nodded. After some much needed advice from Kane, I nervously walked up to the group of men alone. She told me some things I needed to know about the 1st unit, but the rest such as their mission she said I'd find out. She reassured me it would be the same except without her by my side. I hope she was right.

I was thinking so hard I didn't see a man approach me. I looked up from his boots to his uniform, to his harsh stare. These serious men made me tremble inside me, but I just gazed back at him as he did me. He was an officer, and he asked me to which unit I preferred to switch in too. I didn't really care, thinking it was all the same except with different missions. I just uttered "the 1st unit." I think I saw a small, one second smile across his mouth, under his mustache. Maybe it was my imagination. He told me to wait with the others, and keep my mouth shut. I obeyed.

I watched the rest of 3rd unit travel forward, while the rest of us stayed behind for a few more hours. The sun was setting and we were still in the same spot, and I was getting tired of standing, waiting, and especially tired of keeping my mouth shut. Had the Captains' of the 1st and 2nd units forgotten they had new men to add? That thought traveled many times across my mind. But finally a man on horseback came to us, to lead us where the other units were currently staying. To my luck, the 1st unit was the farthest. As the men who joined the 2nd unit followed another man on horseback, in which our man on horseback joined up with at this meeting spot, those of us to be in the 1st unit now followed the original man on horseback to our camp. It had started to drizzle as we finally came upon the camp. There wasn't much to see because the drizzle was steadily turning to rain, and to me the camp looked the same. The man on horseback said that for now, we should use our portable tents to stay the night. We'd get assigned a tent later. I wondered when later was and who I'd meet in the 1st unit, trustworthy enough to be my friend. What if I found no friends? I guess I'd have to fare on my own.



The next morning I woke up early, probably due to nervousness. There was barely anyone up and about in the camp, and I thought that a good thing. I decided not to undo my tent just yet, and tried to locate the eating tent on my own. It wasn't hard to find, but unfortunately it wasn't up and running yet. Apparently not even the cooks were awake. It wasn't that early, was it? The sun was up. I wondered why everyone slept so late. I found my red ribbon in my pocket, and tied it around my head absent mindedly as I walked around the camp, orienting myself. I passed by the Captain's tent, two officers standing guard outside it. After a row of endless tents that all looked the same, I decided to turn back and head towards the eating tent again, my growling stomach reminding me. The camp had awoken more since I had left, and I ate my breakfast outside instead of in the stuffy tent.

I saw a few men gathering those training poles, and chatting as they made their way over to a secluded area to practice. I thought I should do the same, and felt a tad lonely that I didn't have anyone to train with. I was used to doing it alone anyway, back in my uncle's dojo when there were scarcely any students. But the training reminded me of Kane and I realized I truly missed her. I hadn't known her for long, but at least she was someone I could trust and someone I could use for help. I think by volunteering to go to the 1st unit, I was basically trying to tell myself I'm _ready_ to be alone. But now that I'm here, I'm not so sure. I trained hard to get my mind off things, but it didn't help. When I cooled down and headed back, I still wished Kane was with me.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7



I've been in the 1st unit of the Sekihotai for about a week now. I'm proud to say I'm used to it now, but when Kane said not to worry, because it was the same as the 3rd unit, I believe she was either lying or she didn't even know herself. It wasn't a like at all. Yes, the 3rd unit had its share of the scum and morons, but the 1st unit was crawling with them, and the worst part was that not only were they scum…they were_ proud_ scum. Some of them were even good at fighting, which was a total negative. But then again this was the 1st unit; I believe they specifically had most of the best men here. Anyway, I had to come across these men often, especially in very public places. The worst was when sharing the eating tent, and for some reason especially during dinner. I guess in the morning they were mild thanks to hangovers from drinking sake all night, and at dinner they were mind cleared enough to pick fights all the want. Maybe it was because I was a girl, or perhaps because I was new, but apparently I was their new choice of entertainment. I bet they dared each other or something, to go "pick a fight with the new girl."

On the first two days, everyone mostly ignored me, and I was glad. I was still collecting my bearings, but soon I had worked out a schedule for myself so I wouldn't be totally idle while we staked out here. By the way, we would start moving in about a week's time, I'm not sure where though. Apparently everyone knew, maybe they were told before I transferred, but of course no one was going to tell me unless I made them regret their words. You'd think these men would save their strength for battle, but when we stake out it's obvious they get bored often.

On the third day the bullying began. I was in line for dinner and some drunks teased me, one even shoving me away from line, making me get in the back. I stayed quiet and didn't do anything, trying to tune out their laughter. I thought of being stone, unmovable and unbreakable. I let them tease me then, and stayed quiet. I had thought it was a one time thing. But the next night, they tried again. They REALLY pushed my patience, so I didn't move when they told me too. The main guy kicked me in the stomach, and as I doubled over they shoved me to the ground taking my spot in line. Again I didn't do anything, but I was getting to regret this more and more…

Alright, it's been 5 days since I've been here, and the way things were going I had to put a stop to it so I could eat and stay in the Sekihotai peacefully, not to mention survive at least the camp outs. Who ever heard of a cadet dying during camping, before he even got the chance to fight? I wasn't going to be that person. So when the teasing continued, I surprised the mob of scum, who were the usual group that forced me out of line, and took at least a small stand to start off. I didn't move again when the main scum asked me, and while laughing drunkenly he aimed his fist to take a swing at my face. I ducked and punched him hard on the nose, his blood spurting everywhere. My pride rose a bit, but soon it was crushed because I had forgotten his clique was surrounding me on all sides. One guy pulled my hair hard, jerking my head down while another took a swing at my face as well, catching my eye. I kicked up wildly, not able to see very well for my good eye was facing the ceiling. Apparently I hit a vital spot, because revengeful hands started for me after I heard the grunt of pain by that one guy, but were called off by an officer. He stopped the fight and calmed everyone down. My head hurt from the hair pull (why did I have to have such long hair?) and of course, my right eye was swelling. I had lost my appetite, and giving a final glare to the mob I walked outside haughtily, eating only a bit of my food. It was raining but I didn't care, obviously after that scene I couldn't go back in. But at least I proved that I wasn't to be messed with or else I'd retaliate. It didn't go as smooth, but what can you expect without a few scratches? Soon I wanted to have the power Kane had over them. I wanted to be _feared_. But mostly, and most importantly, I wanted to be taken seriously. Kane was right on the fact that since being a female in an all male world, my job here would be harder and I'd have to learn different rules. But all in all, if Kane had witnessed me tonight, I think she'd be proud.

I didn't see the mob the next day, and I thought they feared me. This was accompanied with much doubt though, for it's not like I killed one of them. I ate lunch peacefully and was making my outside when there they were, more of them, some with clubs and wooden poles.

"There she is! That wench, let's get her!" They came after me. I bit back a surprised scream and just focused on fighting back. I knocked out the first two who came at me, but I was rusty in the style of fighting using mainly my hands and feet, seeing as how I had no weapon. Another guy used my hair to hold me back, but I crouched and kicked his legs from under him, yet he still held on. He slapped me and I kicked him hard in the stomach. Needing both hands to try and relieve the pain, he let go. Suddenly another tried to tackle me, but I just moved and he landed on the one who pulled my hair. Four gone, like ten more to go. Most of them held poles, which I tried hard to jump over or duck under, but some caught my head and my shins. I thought of stealing a pole from one of them, but when I tried they just pulled the pole from my grasp. The one guy I tried it with not only pulled it away from my hands, but then butted the end against my head. Hard. I felt my legs give out under me and I turned woozy. I sank to my knees, and this one man tried to punch me out for good. I catched his fist warily, and before he could pull it back for another chance I bit down on it hard and he screamed. I tried to get up but another pole wielder butted my head again, and everything turned black.



I tiredly fluttered my eyes open, and at once felt pain at the side of my head. I groaned softly and placed a hand on it, but it didn't help. Somehow it had gotten wrapped in bandages, and I noticed I was lying down inside a tent. I tried to sit up but the pain in my head was overwhelming, like one of those sickening head aches.

"Now, now, don't sit up too fast. Your head hurts a lot doesn't it?" A gentle female voice asked. My stomach sank and for a moment I thought I had somehow gotten back to my hometown, and was at a doctor's. But when I focused my eyes I noted that the tent flap was partially open, and I saw the camp scene outside. I nodded warily and lay back down. After a moment or two passed by for my head to settle, I opened my eyes to find out who this woman was. Was there another girl in the 1st unit, other then me?

She had her back to me, rummaging around drawers in a small wooden cabinet. She had long, very dark brown hair, almost black but with a tinge of mahogany. She was wearing a purple and blue shin length kimono with socks. I watched her come by my side and gently offer a glass of water. I took it and also a small white pill she held in her other hand.

"It's a painkiller. It'll sooth the pain for awhile, but you'll need to rest for a whole day at least until you can feel better enough to start brawling again," She said nicely. I nodded slightly, not really listening because of the pain. It rang in my ears, and to stop it as fast as I can I swiftly took the pills.

"Ahh…" I let out a relieved sigh. The pain soothed as the lady promised, and I would have lain back down but I wanted to know some things first.

"Where am I?" I asked. The girl was turning the other way, but turned back to me and smiled gently.

"You're at the medical tent. Witnesses told me you were against a pretty strong gang out front. What really amazed me was, someone told me you were fighting all of them by yourself. Is this true?" She asked, her soft eyes widening.

I suppressed a proud smile. "Yes, it's true. That gang has been bugging me for quite a few days now, and I decided to stand up to them. They got what they had coming," I told her, even though I was the one lying down at a medical tent. She chuckled lightly, but still looked amazed by the fact that it was true.

"The fact that you're brave enough to fight a gang of men by yourself makes up the other fact that you're the one here. But don't worry; though you were the one I mostly wanted to cure, being the unofficial doctor here, I had to cure quite a few of them as well. I think you did a pretty good job," She replied, and I laughed softly. Ok, so I didn't _kill_ anyone, nor did I even beat them up good. But at least I got a few to go to the medicine tent, so that must mean for my first fight I did pretty well. That was good enough for me. For now anyway, I just wanted sleep, and that gang to at least stop bugging me. I hope I can accomplish, and have accomplished, those things.

"You can leave if you want; I have to tend to another patient. He's a feisty one, always getting himself in pointless fights for the fun of it. And to think! He's only about nine years old…," The girl said suddenly, breaking my thoughts. She stood to leave.

"Thanks for everything, um…?" I inquired, wanting to learn her name. Who knows, regrettably I _might_ end up here more often…

"Koriin," She smiled, and then left through another flap, which was connected to a second tent. I nodded, and decided to leave. I wanted to sleep in my own tent, and to possibly get dinner if I could. Though, I didn't want everyone seeing my bandaged head, practically proclaiming defeat. I followed Koriin, so I could as if she didn't mind if I took the bandages off.

When I entered the second tent, probably the one in which patients wait in, I saw Koriin arguing with a little boy. He did look about nine, and had spiky brown hair. He also wore a red headband. Was he really in the Sekihotai? He was so young! I made my way over anyway, seeing if I could interrupt them for a second to ask about my bandages.

"No!" The boy was shouting, "I don't _need_ any stitches, a bandage will do fine!"

"Please, let me stitch it. It'll heal better," Koriin insisted in a soft voice. The boy looked really irritated, losing his temper quickly. All I could think was what a brat.

"Um…excuse me again, Koriin," I said at the right time, when both fell sort of silent and just glared at each other. Koriin turned to me and smiled.

"You're standing! How good. Those painkillers work wonders doesn't it? It's like gold around here, really…," Koriin said, and I nodded. I asked about my bandages, and even though Koriin hesitated, she assumed it would be ok. Turns out she had given me stitches too, but not many. The bleeding had since stopped, and after stitching Koriin had also cleaned the cut, so when the bandages were off you couldn't tell, with my hair down and all. I was glad, for this way even though many probably saw me getting carried off to the doctor, they'd see it wasn't even that serious. At least there was that.

After me, the boy was still being a brat about his injury. He had been holding up a rag to it this whole time, and when Koriin went to check it out I saw that a part of his forehead was scraped and bruised, not to mention bleeding. Koriin was clicking her tongue disapprovingly, and shaking her head.

"Boys," She muttered, and went in the other tent for awhile to get something for him.

"Girls!" The boy called out after her. I turned to him.

"Quiet, you. She's doing all this for you, and by the looks of it she probably has to do it quite often. How about some respect huh? You're so young, you shouldn't be here in the first place," I said to him.

"Oh yeah? What makes you so different? You're a girl! You shouldn't be here either, any more then me," He spat out nastily. I scowled at him.

"At least I was in a _real_ fight," I muttered after awhile, and saw the boy turn red with embarrassment and anger.

"I was _too_ in a real fight! I'm the best fighter here!" He cried jumping up from his chair. He looked about ready to pounce on me, as if to prove it. His action looked so comical, a boy half my age and height threaten me. I couldn't help chuckling, even it if was softly, hoping he wouldn't notice. He did and growled at me.

"C'mon let's go, you _woman_," He cried, emphasizing "woman" as if he was insulting me. He hopped around, fists raised. I didn't raise anything, apart from my eyebrows.

"I'll let you know that even though I'm a _woman_ you're probably not even half as good as I am. Why do you think I'm here anyway?" I asked him.

"I don't care why you're here! Prove you're good and FIGHT ME!" He cried, insisting. I wasn't going to go around fighting little kids, especially not after a gang fight. That was lowering myself in so many levels, it was unheard of. I shook my head and he seemed to get angrier. Thankfully, Koriin walked in, puzzled at the scene.

"What's going on here?" She asked. The boy and I looked at each other, then back at her.

"Nothing," We replied in unison. We looked at each other again, and the boy sat down, scowling. He really had wanted to fight me, stupid little kid. Koriin walked over to him and treated his wound, and I wondered why I was still hanging around. I guess I still liked the fact I finally met another female here, though it was too bad she wasn't an official member. After she treated the boy, she asked me my name sweetly. I realized I hadn't told her, and felt immediately bad.

"Nikoru, sorry for not telling you earlier," I said apologetically. She smiled and nodded, saying it was alright.

"Nikoru, it was fantastic meeting the only other girl here. Not only that, you're a true fighter as well, nothing at all like most of the men here. Not to mention you're tough. So I was wondering…," Koriin started, and I couldn't help smiling. I liked that she thought so highly of me, even though she said I was the _only_ other girl here. But what does that matter anymore? I really was a good fighter, and truly meant to be here. And I couldn't believe she thought I was tough. Anyway, all this praising gave me the feeling to do anything she wanted, for it sounded as if she wanted something of me.

"…Could you possibly walk Sanosuke here back to his tent? I'm really trying to discourage him from fighting pointlessly so much; he gets as many wounds in a day as a man does in a battle lasting a week. Soon I'll be having more patients, I can't be babysitting him all the time," Koriin explained.

"You were never babysitting me, and neither is she going too!" Sanosuke, so apparently his name was, cried out.

"Oh hush, you're just a little kid," Koriin said to him, and then turned to me, talking in an almost inaudible whisper. "He was an orphan my brother found when the Sekihotai was first recruiting, and having nowhere else to go Sanosuke here joined us. My brother apparently, doesn't know how much trouble he gets into, but he'll be knowing shortly," She said, and I nodded. Believe me, I didn't want to baby sit this kid either, but the least I could do was make sure the brat didn't get into any more trouble on the way to his tent.

"I'll do it, in gratitude for what you've done for me Koriin. C'mon Sanosuke, it's getting late out," I said and he stubbornly just stood there, until Koriin pushed him lightly forward.

"Fine, but that doesn't mean I like you. And I'm STILL a better fighter then you!" He said, pushing open the tent flap roughly and walking outside. I turned to Koriin who only gave me a perplexed glance, but I shrugged a shoulder to let her know it was no big deal. I headed outside quickly, not wanting to lose the kid seconds after I was given the responsibility of watching over him.

I caught up to him, hands shoved in his pockets, kicking rocks as he walked. I walked next to him, wondering why he got mad so easily. I thought he had no reason to act such a way, after being given the privilege to stay here.

"I'm sorry for calling you a little kid. I'm sure you're a good fighter as well," I said, trying to ease him a little. He looked up at me, still scowling, but continued to kick rocks around.

"Yeah, yeah," He mumbled. I fingered the stitches on the side of my head, and combed hair in front of it, so it was unnoticeable. I asked Sanosuke where his tent was, and while looking for it I spotted the spot in which mine was supposed to be. _Supposed _to be, that is. Someone had taken it away. I wasn't going crazy; this was the spot the switch ins' first came into the 1st unit, and we put up our portable tents here. Now they were all gone. Had the men who came with me gotten tents of their own officially? I cursed in my mind. This probably went on while I was being in a tent, getting stitched up.

"You're looking the wrong way. Mine's over _there_," Sanosuke interrupted my thoughts, pointing to a certain tent in which we were getting close and closer too. I shook my head.

"That doesn't matter anymore. _Mine_ is gone, I have no where to stay," I said mostly to myself. Sanosuke looked up at me curiously and stopped kicking rocks for once.

"You can stay with Koriin. Her big medicine tent has room for sleep in patients," Sanosuke suggested, and I had an idea as to why he knew so much about the medicine tent. The last thing I wanted was to go back to Koriin, begging for a place to sleep. I also didn't want to bug any officers, in turn begging for a place to sleep. They probably would tend to me only in the morning of the next day anyway. I paced around, wondering what to do.

"I guess I'll go to Koriin. It won't be that bad, she's pretty nice…," I muttered to myself. I noticed Sanosuke was being awfully quiet. I looked up and he was already leaving. "Hey!" I yelled at him. How could he just leave me here, talking to myself? I thought angrily and embarrassingly. He turned around and smirked. I just scowled at him and turned around, making my way back to the medicine tent. If I _ever_ see that kid again, I'll show _him_ who the best fighter is.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

♡♡

After I woke up in the medicine tent (Apparently Koriin had no problem with me sleeping there, and she understood my situation), I decided to get dressed and go get breakfast. I kind of wanted to go along with Koriin, but I looked everywhere in that medicine tent and didn't find her. I did find though, a couple of her patients who were sleeping in just as I was.

"Excuse me, but could you possibly tell me where I can find Koriin?" I inquired, approaching the nearest patient to me.

He turned around and noted who was talking, then taking a painful breath he replied, "She's probably with her brother. You'll find them in the Captain's tent," He replied hoarsely. I immediately regretted asking this man for help, he wasn't in the state to talk.

"My apologies on asking you when you have trouble talking. Thank you for your information though, and have a nice recovery," I politely replied and left the medicine tent all together as fast as I could. I didn't like being among sick people, it made me queasy.

I walked outside and headed towards the Captain's tent, wondering why on earth Koriin and her brother might be there. I hoped the Captain was alright; if such a thing should go wrong this early I don't think the Sekihotai had any hope.

Two guards outside the tent blocked me from entering the tent, and demanded proof on why I should be going inside. "Well, you see, I'm here to visit the medicine woman, Koriin," I honestly replied, gulping.

"What business do you have with her?" One of the guards barked. Why should guards be so rude? No wonder everyone hates them.

"Now that is personal. Koriin happens to be a good friend of mine, and if you would kindly step aside, I would like a word with her!" I replied stubbornly. The guards scowled at me and unblocked their rifles from my path. I nodded at them with a satisfied smile, and moved on hesitantly. I was going in the Captain's tent! But before I could officially go in, a guard bellowed at me saying I was only allowed five minutes. I sighed impatiently and decided to move faster then.

The minute I stepped in, a flurry of all sorts of people happened to be walking everywhere, and some nowhere in particular. There were a great many maids and servants, and quite a few times I passed important looking people, and when that occurred I obediently directed my eyes to the ground. I had no idea where I was going, and mustered up the courage to ask someone. A simple looking maid was adjusting the candles around the place, so I went up to her.

"If you would excuse me, could you please tell me where the medicine woman Koriin is right now?" I asked her. She looked down and raised an eyebrow slightly, apparently not used to the appearance of a girl in training clothes.

"Are you a soldier here?" She wondered surprised. I smiled wryly, and nodded. "Good heavens! What did you do to receive such cruel punishment?" She wondered of me again, stepping down from her wooden ladder and looking at me worriedly.

"Punishment? Oh no, you've got it all wrong. I volunteered on my own to fight in this army. I want to be a part of the Revolution, just like everyone else," I replied proudly.

Her features seemed to relax, and she smiled knowingly at me. Something told me that she too, a mere maid, had dreams of her own as well. She just couldn't reach them at the moment. "Bless your brave heart. You also don't look a day over fifteen. In any case, Koriin is having a meal with her brother. If you would like to intrude now, they will be in that room right over there," The maid pointed out where I should go.

"Thank you!" I bowed quickly and even though I made my way over there I decided not to intrude. I had time to wait patiently by their door, until they were done. I wonder why Koriin and her brother had meals in the Captain's tent. He must be someone important. Or maybe she's the honored one? Koriin seemed to be the only medicine woman, and she knew her field well. I fingered my stitches absent mindedly as I thought about it.

Suddenly, the door burst open and a man stomped out, clearly angry. He was muttering all sorts of curses and was red in the face. I had jumped back against the wall. He had my heart racing, for did he have to leave the room so abruptly and ever so loudly? But all in all, I was actually glad because he had left their door wide open. This was my chance to see Koriin, and maybe even her mysterious brother. I heard them before I even decided to make a move inside.

"How can you stand dealing with those kind of people everyday? I'm telling you Sozo, you have the patience of a snake," Koriin irritably complimented. She sounded exasperated.

"That's exactly why. Because I have to deal with them everyday," A much calmer voice replied, and I could easily picture a smile coming from the person who spoke.

"In any case, other then that horrible meeting I had another nice breakfast. I must be leaving now, I have patients at my tent who should be waking up," Koriin explained. I heard some shuffling, and other such mild noises of people moving things or moving around.

I knelt before the doorway, trying to get a sneak peek. I spotted the back of Koriin's head, then gasped lightly, hurriedly leaning back outside. She was talking to the Captain of the 1st unit! _Was he her brother? _I wondered excitedly. I decided I should leave, and wait up for Koriin at her tent, even though she's had her breakfast already. But a shadow suddenly scared me out of my thoughts.

"Well, who is it that we have here?" That same calm voice erupted from above me. I slowly looked up, and the Captain was looking down at me with a charming smile. I didn't speak or move, but let the flood of memories stream into my head. I've seen him before. But where? He looked very handsome in his Captains' attire. His light brown eyes shone with amusement. Why wasn't I saying anything? I'm humiliating myself. I quickly scrambled up the wall, standing up, then with an "Oh!" of stupidity, I just threw myself back down bowing to him.

"Sorry!" I squeaked not looking at him. All I got back was his soft laughter, then I heard Koriin coming to stand beside him.

"Sozo, what's-? Nikoru? What are you doing here?" Koriin wondered and helped me up.

"I was um, uh-waiting for you," I quickly explained, nervously twiddling the bang in front of my eye without thinking.

"Oh. Well, sorry for the wait! Here, let me introduce you, this is my brother Sozo. Well, to you and mostly everyone else he's known as Captain Sagara. Right?" She lightly punched her brother's shoulder with a smile. _She's punching the Captain_, I thought in horror.

He just smiled back and nodded, bowing to me. "Pleasure to finally meet you officially, Nikoru," He said to me. Even after straightening back up, he kept his eyes on me. It was rather uncomfortable.

"P-Please to meet you too, finally, um-Captain...Soz-I mean, Sagara," I stammered. Koriin then gently took my arm, and nodded to her brother.

"We'll be going now. I think Nikoru's had enough of the Captain's tent," Koriin joked, and I still had enough wits in me to glare at her.

"I'll be looking forward to our next meeting," Captain Sagara said to me, then with a poised spin he returned to the room in which he and his sister had been eating in. As the strands of his headband trailed lazily after him, I finally snapped out of it and shook my head.

"I can't believe you never told me your brother was the Captain!" I snapped at Koriin the moment were out of that tent. I was holding that in for the longest time possible.

She merely laughed and replied, "Well, I've long since stopped telling people first hand who he was, because they always get the same reaction you do. Besides, I had no idea you were actually going to go looking for me in there! I'm even more surprised you got in!" Koriin laughed sweetly some more.

I sighed, and finally laughed too. "I can't believe I truly embarrassed myself in front of him like that. Maybe if you had warned me who he was, I wouldn't of have acted like such an idiot on the spot," I said rolling my eyes.

Koriin was still grinning. "Oh, don't worry about it. My brother already knows all about you. Did you actually believe that you were going to be ignored or not known about when coming in the Sekihotai?" Koriin asked me. She had a point. I should have expected the Captain to know about me. Even if I was an ordinary boy, he would've known I was one of the switch ins. One way or the other, I was known around here. I wondered if that was a good thing.

"Your brother...he doesn't act like a Captain. Not one I would picture anyway. He acts so...," I racked my brain for the correct word. I had finally found out where I've seen before though. He had been the Captain who had smiled at me, back when I was having dinner with Kane in the 3rd unit. I only didn't recognize him right away because this time he was actually wearing his uniform.

"-Normal?" Koriin finished, laughing again.

I nodded and laughed too. "Yes, that's right. He acts normal and nice. He's even quite charming. Tell me, how does someone like him survive being a Captain?" I asked her.

Koriin shrugged. "That might be the only thing I don't know about him," She replied solemnly.

We reached the medicine tent, and lo and behold, Sanosuke was there.

"An injury already? This early?" I questioned, looking at Koriin incredulously. She sighed, shrugging.

"Who knows, for once it might be something else," She replied and made her way over to him.

"What is it now Sanosuke?" She asked him.

"It's not me, I swear. It's Katsu. He burned his fingers again," Sanosuke explained, holding out one of his hands and twiddling his fingers.

"Katsu?" I wondered and turned to Koriin.

"Katsu's our little pyro. He's Sanosuke's age, and in charge of anything having to do with gun powder, bombs, the sort," Koriin explained.

"Yeah, he mixes gun powder and makes bombs. He's also very good at assembling guns and rifles," Sanosuke explained rather proudly on his part. "He's my best friend!"

I looked at Sanosuke to Koriin, back and forth. "And who in their right mind would let a little kid be in charge of such destructive things?" I wondered in horror.

"That's how I thought about it before too, but really he is good at it. None of these other older morons even know what potassium nitrate is!" Koriin exclaimed.

"Wait-what?" I asked, not knowing what that was either. Sanosuke and Koriin looked at each other, then back at me and laughed. "Hey! That's not nice. Sorry if I'm not familiar with this kind of stuff."

"It's alright. A few days with Katsu and you'll know," Koriin said, then disappeared in the tent for awhile. She came back and handed me a medicine container with a roll of bandages.

"Would it be alright if Sanosuke showed you where Katsu was and you could bandage him for me? My other patients have been waiting for me a long time..." Koriin looked back at the tent where a moan erupted right on cue. I remembered the man who couldn't talk without feeling pain, and sighed.

"But I'm no doctor-," I started.

"I know how! I know!" Sanosuke jumped up and down.

Koriin laughed. "I bet you do. It's really easy, just place that medicine on his fingers then bandage them. Sanosuke will help you if that's too hard," Koriin replied to me, smiling teasingly.

"That's not hard! C'mon, let's go," I ordered Sanosuke and we left. I had gone ahead of him but I didn't even know where this Katsu was, so I looked around for Sanosuke who was heading the other direction. "Hey!" I called out and ran to him.

He turned around with a frown. "You're supposed to follow _me_. Not the other way around."

"Yeah I know. Anyway, where are we headed?" I asked, inspecting the bandages and medicine in my hand while I walked.

"The storage tent. That's where all our weapons are kept," Sanosuke explained.

"Oh I see," I replied, looking around for it.

♡♡

We finally neared it, just in time for a sudden explosion to erupt and a large cloud of smoke to come out of the flap opening, suffocating Sanosuke and I. My eyes widened as the smoke cleared. I could tell, this tent has been through _many_ other explosions. "Where is he? Is he alright?" I wondered frantically.

After a few coughs Sanosuke replied, "Yeah, yeah he's fine. This happens all the time," With watery eyes he opened the tent flap wider and walked in. I hesitated a bit, but was curious to meet this person.

We heard a fit of coughs coming from a corner of the tent. It was hard to see around there. Apart from some still lingering smoke, there were crates everywhere. Bits and pieces of rifles also lay around, as well as many bags full of gun powder.

"Katsu! Where are you?" Sanosuke yelled out angrily.

"Over here!" A little boy voice called in response, and we saw a small hand waving back and forth from behind a stack of crates. I quickly ran over there, and waved away smoke with my hand. It cleared so that I could finally make out the boy who was Katsu. He looked at me with big, dark green eyes. He had inky black hair that was pretty long for a young boy; it went just under his chin. He wore plain training clothes, and finally had the infamous red headband around his head like almost everyone else here.

"My name is Nikoru. I brought the medicine for your fingers," I explained to him, for he still didn't know who I was.

"Oh. Thank you," He replied shyly, and extended his hand to me. I looked down and winced. Three of his fingers were badly burnt, and heavily sooted with ash. He noticed the look on my face and uttered, "I-It's nothing really, it's happened before. It doesn't even hurt anymore when it happens."

"This is cruel. Why do you work in such dangerous conditions?" I wondered shaking my head. I uncapped the medicine and began spreading it on his fingers.

"I want too. People say I'm good at making this kinda of stuff. I'm really fast at assembling guns too. Besides, I like it," He added quietly.

I smiled at him, but suddenly Sanosuke came out of nowhere. "Katsu, you turd. Didn't the Captain say he didn't want you messing with new recipes until later?" He cried angrily.

"Shut-up! He said when I took this job I could mix whenever I wanted. I was just trying something out," Katsu replied with a frown.

"Don't blame me if next time you don't even have any fingers left!" Sanosuke cried back.

"Hey, hey! Stop fighting you two. Sanosuke, this was clearly an accident. If you care so much about your friend's safety, then next time warn him about the Captain's orders," I told them.

"I did warn him! But does he listen? No!" Sanosuke crossed his arms. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry, ok?" Katsu lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Don't be. Like you said, it happens all the time right?" I tore the bandages free from their roll with my teeth, and finished bandaging his fingers. I got up, dusting my pants off and looked around. "Have either of you had breakfast yet?" I wondered, changing the subject.

"No," They replied in unison. Katsu got up and inspected his bandaged fingers.

"Hey, good job on my fingers. You're almost as good as Koriin," Katsu smiled at me.

"Oh. Well, thanks I guess. I'm more of a fighter then a doctor..." I placed a finger on my chin in thought. Maybe I could work part time as Koriin's assistant or something.

"Don't encourage her. She thinks she's all that already," Sanosuke huffed.

"Do not! Just because I wouldn't fight you," I rolled my eyes at him again as the three of us walked out of the tent.

"Don't ever fight Sano. He never fights fair, and is a real sore loser," Katsu teased softly, dodging Sano's lunge.

"Why am I not surprised?" I wondered and both Katsu and I laughed as Sano turned red.

"I'll take on the both of you! C'mon!" Sano cried out.

"No thanks," Katsu and I replied in unison.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

♡♡

We exited out of the food tent with breakfast in hand, and took a seat outside. I looked around at the camp scene while eating my meal, listening to bits and pieces of other people's conversations, watching other do chores or play games. So far it has been pretty peaceful.

"So Nikoru, since when have you been in the 1st unit?" Katsu asked all of a sudden.

I turned to him, counting off the days with my fingers. "I've been here since about a week ago. Yes, that should be right. I actually started off in the 3rd unit, but I volunteered to get transferred here," I explained.

"Is this unit better?" Sano wondered, spotting a bug crawling across the ground and playing with it using one of his chopsticks.

"I could say that. There are far more trained men here and tougher ones. But then again, that sometimes could be a bad thing...," I scratched my head, remembering the past bullying I used to get. "I also had friends back at the 3rd unit. I hope they're doing ok now."

"I wouldn't know how tough the men are here. Usually Sano and I are protected by the Captain. Lots of people think that since were little kids we can't do much, and we've been teased a lot," Katsu confessed.

"Talk for yourself. I can take on any one of these scum bags. Without anyone's protection!" Sano declared proudly.

"I doubt that. You really should lighten up on the fighting, Rookie. Koriin needs to save some of her medicine so that when we get in to real battles," I scolded. Sano didn't reply, but continued tormenting the bug on the ground.

"I can't wait. I know I won't be doing much, but we need some more excitement around here," Katsu sighed, finishing up his meal and tossing the bowl aside.

"Of course you'll be doing stuff! Without you, we wouldn't have all the ammunition we have now," I ruffled Katsu's hair teasingly.

"That's right. So Katsu, I heard you got injured again. Was it bad?" A familiar voice came out of nowhere. I looked up, and there was Captain Sagara. He had two guards with him who were standing by, but he still looked out of place with that smile. Especially since he was inquiring about some little kids.

"Oh yeah, I kinda got my fingers burnt again. But no worries, Nikoru here fixed them all up!" Katsu raised his injured hand high up proudly, and the Captain briefly examined the injury.

"Well done, Nikoru. My sister would've been pleased," He nodded.

"Captain, Captain! I'm bored, let's go fight some people!" Sano tugged on the Captain's coat, jumping up and down. Throughout all this I was silent, watching with interest on how freely the Captain and these two little boys acted around each other. It somehow made me laugh, and the setting of this image was quite comforting.

"Something funny?" Captain Sagara wondered, turning to me. He still smiled like that. It seemed that nothing could depress him.

"Oh, no," I turned red and stopped smiling, looking down at my half finished breakfast.

"Hey Captain! I have something in the storage tent I wanna show you!" Katsu interrupted, and joined Sano by the Captain's side. Just then an officer of some kind stepped up to Captain Sagara and muttered something to him, to which he nodded back.

"Hey, sorry guys. Captain's gotta go run some errands. Don't forget to show me later Katsu!" Captain Sagara ruffled his hair just as I did before, and then shoved Sano playfully. After he left, I breathed normally again and wiped my forehead. It feels so weird being so close to someone like the Captain.

"Hey Nikoru! How come you didn't say anything to the Captain?" Katsu wondered taking my hand.

"That's because she's stupid. Just like everyone else," Sano huffed, tightening his headband.

"I'm not like everyone else, I've been introduced to the Captain before," I explained calmly, more to Katsu then to Sano.

"That's even more of a reason to greet him!" Katsu pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I don't know why I get like that. It's always been that way, when I'm around really important people. Besides, what could I say to him?" I wondered, kneeling down in front of Katsu.

"Ah, who knows. Let's go explorin' already," Sano cut in, shoving past us.

"I think you like him," Katsu suggested rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Who, Sano? Who can ever like that little kid?" I wondered in horror, and Sano shook a fist at me.

"No, no! The Captain! You like him! He likes you too, he smiles a lot at you!" Katsu cried out.

I put a hand over his mouth, shushing him.

"Don't go saying stuff out loud like that. That could ruin my-," I started but Katsu removed my hand.

"So it's true?" He wondered in a whisper.

I shrugged. "I barely know him. How can it be true?" I replied in a huff. "Though, I have to admit, he's a rather different sort of Captain."

"That's because he's nice, not like the other bossy ones. And he takes the time to be friends with everyone," Sano explained, his temper normal again.

"Yeah, even if you don't now, you'll like the Captain soon. Sano and I are his right hand men, so if you're going to hang out with us, you'll get to know him better," Katsu said, pointing at himself proudly.

"Yuck! Who said I wanted _her_ to hang out with us?" Sano spat out angrily.

"Hey! I want Nikoru to hang out with us! I like her!" Katsu said back. I started to laugh, and grabbed a hold of Sano's shoulder to calm him down.

"Listen, you. How about we play a game, so we can all just hang out together without fighting?" I suggested.

"Oh, yeah? What game do _you_ want to play? Katsu and I don't play dolls," Sano huffed.

"No, no. This game is where you can try to take a swing at me, and I block you. Understood? You can't aim anywhere else but my hands." I placed both my hands up, my palms faced towards Sano.

Sano eyed them curiously, and looked over at Katsu. "C'mon Sano, try it! Nikoru is actually willing to let you hit her," Katsu chuckled. I laughed too and waited for Sano to punch one of my hands. He punched one of them, and I nodded.

"Very good. When you're strong enough that either you hurt my hand, or if my hand goes back even an inch, you win!" I explained and kept my hands up. Sano kept punching them, but they didn't go back. He was still just a little kid, and even though he had a mysterious flame for fighting, he wasn't strong enough. My hands stayed rigid the way they started even after half an hour later.

"That's no fair, they never move! How am I going to win?" Sano whined, tired already.

"That's because you're supposed to work at being strong. You're not just born with it," I explained, getting up. Truthfully, my hands were starting to hurt from him trying so much.

"Aw, man. One of my bandages have started to peel off," Katsu suddenly announced, holding his injured hand and looking at it worriedly. I took the hand gently, and saw that he was right.

"Ok, game's over. Let's go visit Koriin again," I said, and we headed off.

♡♡

Koriin replaced Katsu's bandage in less than a minute, but having nothing else to do we stayed at her tent. Katsu and Sano ran outside to chase each other around, and I was helping Koriin organize some things. I wanted to ask Koriin more about her brother...or, sorry, _Captain_ Sagara. I still can't really see him as one, so it's hard for me to call him his real title. Not only did he act youthful, but he did look young as well. I wanted to find out what was in him that made him a good Captain, made people choose him as one. But there still wasn't any news of battles...so instead of acting suspicious, I decided to just ask Koriin about that.

"So you often talk to your brother. Do you know if we'll be going into battle soon?" I asked casually, sewing a torn patient's pillow.

"Hmm. We're actually planning an ambush very soon. Though, don't spread it around, for word might get out to the enemy. I'm only telling you this because I think we've gotten to be good friends," Koriin smiled sweetly and I couldn't help smiling back.

"An ambush you say? When and where?" I wondered.

"Actually, we're moving camp tonight. That is why I'm fixing things up and organizing them. The enemy camp is pretty near, and we're going to send out spies to find out where they'll be camping tomorrow morning. Throughout the night we'll set up the ambush and most likely attack them when they wake up, maybe even when they're still sleeping," Koriin explained with an emotionless face. I noticed her expression, and saw for the first time that Koriin didn't approve of war, fighting, and killing. But suddenly her face lit up and I widened my eyes.

"But this is all for a good cause! My brother says this enemy army has been keeping an entire village hostage, and robbing them of their food. We're going to promise them their food back. Sozo even says the government is going to reduce the taxes, so we'll tell them that as well," Koriin cut off the end of her thread with her teeth, and still had a small smile on her face. It seemed if this whole thing wasn't for a good cause, she wouldn't be here.

"I'm sure they'll be happy to know that. Taxes have always been a problem. Are you sure this is actually going to happen?" I wondered, trying not to sound disbelieving.

"Oh, yes," Koriin replied nodding, "The Revolution is on the palm of our hands. As soon as all this bloodshed is over with, many more dreams can be achieved by many more people. It's going to be an entirely different world once this is all done." Suddenly Koriin gave a little laugh.

"I've been around my brother far too much," She added. "He talks like that all the time."

I smiled. I believed those words, every one of them. As well as everyone else, I hoped for a better future. But I also hoped to live long enough to see it.

I sighed. I wondered if I could take part in the spying part of the ambush. At least, finally, I would be taking part in something.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

♡♡

Just as Koriin said, the announcement was made later that day, throughout dinner time. They were asking for spies, and I saw Captain Sagara standing there, talking to some civilians from the army. I wondered if they were asking him if they could take part in the spying. _Is that what I should do? _I thought._ Am I supposed to go up to him and ask if I could take part of it?_

"Nikoru, you look distracted. What are you thinking about?" Katsu wondered, always seeming to know when something was wrong with me, or when I was thinking hard about something. I got to liking him, even if he was just a little kid. Somehow, I felt like his big sister, and he was the little brother I never had. I smiled at him and told him I'd be right back.

I nervously walked up to one of the men surrounding the Captain and poked his shoulder. "Is this the recruitment for the spying group?" I asked. He didn't answer me and I repeated it. When he didn't answer I let out an angry sigh, and waited like the rest of them for Captain Sagara's individual attention. However, I didn't have to wait long.

"What was that you were asking Nikoru?" He asked me, smiling and pushing me aside gently from the others.

"O-Oh, I was just wondering if this was the um...," I scratched my head. What did I come for here again? I looked at the Captain's eyes, but I didn't find the answer there. I looked away trying to remember. "Oh yeah, spying. I want to spy for the ambush," I finally replied turning red.

"Hmm," Captain Sagara displayed a thoughtful expression and cupped his chin. "You're good friends with Katsu, correct?" He suddenly asked.

"Oh, yeah. He's like my little brother now," I replied jokingly. He laughed and nodded. Damn, what was I doing joking with the Captain? This was the first move I get to be a part in and it's no joking matter. I stood with my arms straight and waited for his response.

"I would like you and Katsu to report to me after dinner. I'll tell you what you are to do, understood?" Captain Sagara asked.

"Yes, sir," I replied, and bowing quickly I left just as fast. I came back to Katsu and Sano and they asked me what happened. "Oh, right. Katsu and I are to report to the Captain after dinner. Apparently we nailed a spot in the spy group setting out tonight," I explained, twirling one of my chopsticks.

"What! No fair!" Sano erupted angrily like I knew he would.

"Oh c'mon Sano. You'll get to stand by the Captain and know about the ambush plan before any of us anyway," Katsu pointed out, suddenly taking up one of his chopsticks and play sword fighting me with it. I stopped twirling my own chopstick and played back, blocking his stabs and attacks. He giggled softly as I swiftly struck his chopstick hard, sending it flying away and poked his stomach.

"You're dead," I announced, handing Sano a chopstick. "Wanna go at it?"

He sighed, rolling his eyes.

"What a stupid childish game," He grumbled, even though he accepted the chopstick and challenged me with it.

♡♡

I could barely sleep. I was supposed to be saving energy for when I was to set out, but I was too nervous. Well, I was more like excited, though if I did get caught it meant death for sure. See? Exciting.

Since Katsu and I were to go together, I was sleeping in his and Sano's tent. Sano was snoring like a pig, and I couldn't really tell if Katsu was asleep or just being really quiet. I kept making sure I had everything with me, even though all I needed were my ears, and the spare dagger Kane gave to me back when I was in the 3rd unit. There was no way if I did get caught, I wouldn't put up a fight first. That was the problem with me at the moment, I kept thinking and planning on what would happen if I got caught. _These are sleeping men_, I reminded myself again_, they won't wake up too soon. _Ah! But they are going to most likely have guards. Damn, how I hated guards. My mother and I shared the same passion, not even at our own home we had guards.

I was staring blankly at the tent wall when a ball of light appeared out of nowhere, and began floating around. _Somebody was up_, I thought excitedly. The messenger was here to announce the set out! I bit down on my bottom lip and grinned like an idiot. I gently shook Katsu's shoulder, and he got up immediately. Something told me he wasn't sleeping after all.

"Are they here?" He wondered, rubbing one eye.

I laughed. "You can't fool me, I knew you weren't sleeping," I replied instead, with a mischievious smile. He chuckled quietly and noticed the gas lamp outside as well.

"C'mon let's go." He got up and was about to head out when he looked down at Sano. He fixed Sano's blankets, and made sure he didn't leave anything. "_Now_ let's go," He added, taking my hand and leading me outside, as if I wasn't going to head out there anyway.

The man holding the gasp lamp raised it high above his head, so he could clearly see everyone's faces. A small group of men were assembled and Katsu and I swiftly made our way to the back of the group, hoping nobody noticed we were a tad late.

"Hear, hear! All of you are to sneak into their camp and the objective is to find any information you can! This includes eavesdropping and stealing. See anything of value that'll attribute any information on future targets, take it! Some of the men may be awake and talking! Do what you wish to find out what they're talking about! You are free to kill anyone, but unfortunately be killed as well!" The messenger announced. At the last part I gulped nervously, imagining huge guards. I gripped the hilt of my dagger and my hand trembled. I looked over at Katsu and his expression was emotionless.

"And one more thing," added a voice I knew all too well, "Be careful." Captain Sagara's face appeared beneath the gas lamp, like a handsome ghostly figure.

"That is all! Move out!" The messenger cried out and the group moved.

"Wait, what? Where are we going?" I asked out loud by accident. They hadn't even told us where the camp was. I looked down at my side but Katsu was gone; he had gone over to the Captain. I walked over to them and both Katsu and the Captain turned to me. The Captain smiled as usual.

"You can turn back now if sneaking around the dark in an enemy's camp is too scary for you," He said to me. I thought he was joking but he was talking with a serious tone.

"Are you kidding?" I had to ask. He looked startled for a moment but then laughed.

"I guess I was. Here, take good care of Katsuhiro-chan," Captain Sagara pushed Katsu lightly towards me, then proceeded to point out where we were to go. I took Katsu's hand and started to walk over there.

"Bye Captain! Bye!" Katsu called out as I dragged him along.

"Will you hush? We have to be super quiet now. We're spies!" I reminded him in a whisper, looking around the darkness of trees nervously. Their camp was just beyond the trees.

"Sorry. You just never know what could go wrong, so I wanted to make sure I said good bye first," Katsu replied in a small voice. My stomach turned over. _This kid isn't making me feel too good,_ I thought irritably.

We saw some of the men already head inside. We snuck by around the camp from behind clutters of bushes first. When we saw an entrance with a guard, I thought this should be where we go inside. But as I forced my knees to work so I could stand up, a gargled scream could be heard, and before I knew it another one of our men had speared the guard in the throat. I sighed. I was going to kill him! Oh well. I took Katsu's hand and we swiftly went inside the entrance.

When we entered, we were in some sort of building or house. There were a few rooms, and I guessed this was where the more important people slept while they kept their men outside. Jackpot! I quietly made my way over to a door, and pressed my ear against it. I didn't hear anything, but I couldn't be sure. The doors were screen doors, so I tore a small hole in the paper screen and looked inside. It was only an office and there was no one inside. Happily, I turned around to find Katsu. He was coming out of a room holding a coin bag and a gun.

Startled and shocked, I almost cried something out but restrained just in time. I pointed at the gun repeatedly, wondering why the heck he grabbed that. He shrugged and I slapped my forehead. I pulled him closer and pointed out the hole I made in the door, then proceeded to open it carefully inch by inch until both of us could squeeze through. Finally inside, I began to look through drawers and papers. Katsu just touched and examined everything and anything he thought interesting. Not wanting to go back to the Captain empty handed, I grabbed important looking documents and all of the maps I could find and tucked it in my sleeve. I sighed, wiping my forehead from nerves. _This isn't too hard_, I thought. I turned around just in time to find Katsu slipping a bomb behind a painting. My hands flew to my head and I tugged at my hair in disbelief. What was this kid doing?

I shook my fist at him and he turned around, startled. I pointed at my head and shrugged, indicating that I was wondering what the heck he was thinking. Katsu just shook his head and indicated to me that I should leave it aside. I let out a breath of exaspiration and impatience, wanting to get out of here already. This place already felt like a bomb; if we didn't hurry it could explode any minute.

Dragging Katsu with me, we left the room and I wondered if we should explore anywhere else. My question was answered when a small explosion was heard just inside one of the rooms, one that I didn't go in. I saw a man slip outside and run for it. I saw two other of our men already running out of here too. _Who else had slipped bombs in this camp?_ I wondered in disbelief. Katsu tugged on my arm and pointed to the door. I knew what he was saying. It was time we left now.

Sprinting outside, then finally far enough we could talk and breathe loudly once again, I fell to my knees and caught my breath. I think the whole time I was near that camp, maybe even from the time we first started out, I wasn't breathing. "That was insane," I finally managed to say over to Katsu, who had taken a seat on the ground and was breathing normally again too.

He nodded. "I hope we got enough stuff. I saw you pig out on all those papers, so I didn't bother much with anything else," He explained sheepishly.

"It's ok. I hope what I got was alright too," I replied getting up. At that moment the ground shook and I fell back down again, and there was another explosion. When I looked back at the enemy camp there was smoke surrounding it, and a caught a blaze of fire. "What was the use of that?" I snapped irritably. "Aren't we going to ambush them anyway?"

"Well, yes. But that was just incase we weren't able to get enough information. At least now they don't have a camp, so they _have_ to move somewhere," Katsu explained proudly. He started heading back to our own camp, and I followed him groaning.

♡♡

We got a few more hours of rest, but as soon as the messenger called we were to get up and get ready for the ambush. We didn't know who achieved what information, we all just handed whatever we stole over, and told whatever we heard. Tired as I was, I still wasn't able to sleep, so Katsu and I started a small campfire in which Sano joined an hour later.

"Stupid spies. Aren't they supposed to be quiet? The minute you guys stomped back to camp I woke up," Sano grumbled irritably, and tossed another stick into the fire.

Ignoring Sano, I turned to Katsu. "So we are going to ambush them anyway?" I asked. A different voice however replied.

"Yes, we are." Koriin sat beside me and joined our campfire. She smiled at everyone and then turned to me. "Apparently this was a successful burglary. We got a lot of information and we definitely know where they'll be camping next."

I nodded, glad that maybe some of the stuff I stole served as help. However I wasn't a professional burglar and didn't even know exactly what I was looking for at the time. "Koriin, what are you doing up this late?" I asked.

She shrugged, yawning on cue to indicate she was wondering that as well. "My brother told me to wake up and make sure everyone who got back wasn't injured, and to heal those who were. Even though as I said before this was a most successful burglary, and almost nobody was injured except for one man who got in a bit of a fit with a guard," Koriin explained, re-wrapping a blanket she brought around herself. I remembered the men slipping out quickly after placing the bombs, and knew that this wasn't our first successful mission.

"Nikoru stole a lot of good stuff. I'm sure the Captain is proud of her," Katsu suddenly added, and nudged Sano who laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Koriin and I said in unison. Though, I already knew. Katsu still thought the Captain and I had an affair or something. _Yeah, since the last what? _Two weeks _since I've even known who he was? _

Though the boys laughed Koriin frowned and tossed a burning stick at them, which got their attention. "That's not something to laugh about. Not only is Nikoru's sole purpose of being here to bring about the new era honorably, and nothing else, my brother has his morals too. He's married and has his own children you know." Koriin looked down all of a sudden, and I wondered if being in camp with her brother caused her to miss her nieces and nephews.

"What? I didn't know that," Sano spoke up angrily all of a sudden. I could tell he was jealous now.

"Sorry Koriin we were just kidding around. Maybe if the Captain didn't smile so much at everyone we wouldn't get the wrong idea," Katsu added.

Koriin laughed. "Well, don't blame him for being friendly," She smiled as she said this, and I suddenly saw how their smiles resembled each other. Abruptly, she turned to me and added, "You understand, don't you Nikoru? My brother is off limits."

I jumped back and turned red from her mentioning such a thing. "Ah! What are you talking about? I wasn't planning anything!" I cried. They all laughed at me then and I frowned.

"You all ready for the ambush later on?" Koriin then wondered cheerfully. Katsu and I groaned.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

♡♡

My rifle was getting heavy. I wobbled up the hill, cursing everything in my path. I passed by others already in their positions, hiding their grins as they watched me struggle up and up this stupid hill. I just so happened to have gotten stuck with the worst position possible. How can I possibly be progressive when I'm stranded at the top of the highest hill in the whole valley? Not only that, but a _steep_ hill. A hill which served no other purpose than to mock me as my arms got tired from carrying this damn rifle all the way up it. Mind you it wasn't even any use to bring it along. I can't shoot to save my life. Katsu was going to be with me, teaching me along the way and giving me tips as the ambush progressed, but _Captain_ Sagara, the one who also forced me onto this hill, gave him another assignment. He claimed Katsu was needed more elsewhere. _I'm_ the one who most needed him!

You can see where my mood was going. I was only a little over halfway to my position, and gave up entirely on carrying the rifle all the way up there. I threw it impatiently on the ground, and began dragging it up, ignoring the frequent snickers I started to hear. Hopefully by the time I got up to where I was to be posted, it would be broken so I didn't have to do anything. Finally though, I got too tired to think any more bitter and sarcastic thoughts. I made it to the top, where a lopsided boulder faced where the ambush was to take place. _Whether this stupid rifle works or not, whether I even do anything, at least I have a shield,_ I thought sarcastically, eyeing the boulder. Alright, that was my last sarcastic thought as I threw myself onto the ground, dead beat. Wasn't this ironic? The ambush hasn't even started, and all I could think of was sleep. But that was also partially because of last night, seeing as how I went on that spying mission. Either way, I was tired. Good thing my anger at the Captain for placing me here kept me awake. I was leaning against the boulder, resting my eyes, when I heard a loud gun shot. _Already?_ I thought tiredly. More gunshots could be heard, a horse here and there, and of course plenty of the ole' manly yelling. I turned around, peeking out from behind the boulder, still flat on my stomach as I had my rifle in hand. How professional I looked.

I examined the scene first, taking in what was happening. The hill me and countless others were on faced the field the enemy had just come into from their own camp. This was definitely an ambush alright. The minute they stepped within shooting distance, rifles were fired as well as even canons at them. The other half of us who weren't on the hill were on foot, with swords, spears, rifles too etc.

They ran out and attacked the enemy the same time the bullets started firing. You'd think this was unfair, it actually kind of wasn't. You would have thought this enemy party would have been more careful, seeing as how their own camp was blown to pieces a few hours ago thanks to our spying mission. The surprise was so great half of them were dead already, and it hasn't even been ten minutes. If I wanted to actually do something to help in the ambush, I needed to be quick. This battle was definitely on our side.

I aimed my rifle, my tongue slightly sticking out of the corner of my mouth in concentration, my left eye closed tight. I spotted a man on horseback backing away, shouting orders. He must be the general or something. I aimed at him, and after a few moments I pulled the trigger.

"Ah!" I gasped out, not expecting the heavy jolt the rifle gave out. It almost flew out of my hands, but I didn't have time to worry about that now. Besides, I had held on tight enough I'm pretty sure it was still here. In any case, I watched to see if my shot was worth anything after all. Unfortunately, it didn't help much, unless that general favored his hat. My bullet went right through it, having it take off from his head. At least I gave him a good scare. I found a more comfortable position behind the boulder, waving away the smell of gun powder and paying attention to what was happening. When I found the general again, still untouched, I thought about trying again. Seconds later someone shot him. I growled angrily.

"I, Nikoru, announce myself forever more never to be a sniper!" I cried out.

♡♡

It so happened that the death of their general marked our victory. The men who could still walk ran away as fast as they could. In the end, almost all of the enemy army lay on the ground dead or injured. That was one bloody field. I tried my best not to get my shoes too dirty with blood as I made my way down the hill and across the field to our own camp with everyone else.

"Good job everyone. We surprised them good, didn't we?" Captain Sagara grinned speaking to all of us in an announcement. The men cheered and laughed. I didn't join in. "Don't get too comfortable however. We're moving ahead as of now!" More cheers, some complaints, and other stuff rippled through the mob of men but soon it became quiet as everyone departed to go pack their tents. When Captain Sagara turned around to walk away, I stuck my tongue out at the back of his head.

"Hey Nikoru, how was your first day of using a rifle?" Katsu asked cheerfully, coming up beside me and tugging on my sleeve. I quit glaring at the Captain and looked down at him.

"What do you think?" I practically snapped. I was so moody I even spat on the ground, shortly after ward crossing my arms.

"She didn't do anything. I heard she even broke her own rifle!" Sano snickered coming out of nowhere.

"No way, that didn't happen," I replied defensively. Even though it almost did.

"I would've showed you tips. But I was busy...," Katsu began apologizing.

"Yeah I know, the Captain assigned you somewhere else. It's alright, if you should know, I actually shot quite a number of people..." I began with my tall tale. Sano had long since stopped listening, but when I was done Katsu looked up at me with such admiration I regretted making it sound so heroic. But nobody needed to know what really happened, right?

Shortly after helping Katsu and Sano with their tent, then Koriin with hers, I began to join the army as they started to march forward and head on to the road. We started to tread on rougher terrain, for we were going through the mountains now. The mountain roads I learned were very unpredictable, especially when we were on high ground. We even began to camp on high up cliffs, where the wind was great but so was the view.

While on these high cliffs, I'd sometimes go up to the tip of them and watch the horizon. I'd watch only the sky and the sea. You could often see the ocean far off in the distance if the cliff was high enough. I never looked down into the valleys though. I had a mild fear of heights. Ok, so not that mild. I actually could only stay a top the tips of cliffs for a little while until the fear that it'll crumble beneath me and I'll fall overwhelmed me to start running back to camp.

But while we climbed up cliffs and mountains, we also had to go down them and we also marched along low ground and valleys. A lot of small villages resided here, and we often visited some of them and relaxed in their peaceful settings. I mostly trained here with Sano when I had the chance, for I liked training in low ground better. I didn't train as much with Katsu though; he wasn't much of a fighter.

So right now, we are currently in yet another cliff, and I was making my way over to the tip of it. It's just after breakfast and the brisk morning air chilled through me. It's also snowing, but very mildly. Only meek little snowflakes floated lazily down around me, catching onto my clothes and hair. Thank heavens it wasn't snowing hard, or else we'd all freeze to death. The sun was out but it was very pale, so much so that you could stare at it for awhile without your eyes hurting. I was noticing all these things as I made my way to the tip of the cliff, but no sooner had I almost reached it, that I was summoned upon.

"Nikoru! Nikoru!" A little voice cried out. I recognized it as Katsu's. As I turned around, my hair whipped around behind me. As I said, the wind a top these cliffs were pretty brutal. I spotted Katsu running towards me, and behind him walking more slowly was Captain Sagara along with Sano right beside him. Sano seemed to be talking excitedly about something. It's been quite awhile since the ambush, and watching the Captain now I'd say I've kind of forgiven him on the whole hill thing.

"Hey Nikoru, whatcha doing?" Katsu wondered, he ran around me then before I could even answer he ran up the cliff. Sano suddenly ran past me as well, chasing him. I watched them fool around and hoped they didn't end up pushing each other off the cliff. This thought worried me greatly so I watched them like a hawk. Or should I say a mother, because even though I don't mind hanging out with them, I still feel like their babysitter half the time.

"Sano was just talking about the ambush," Captain Sagara suddenly said out of nowhere. I jumped. He was standing right next to me. Instinctively, I inched away and thought about the ambush once again. "He told me for awhile there you were...kind of mad?" He pressed on.

_Yeah, I was_, I thought bitterly. _Ever since you made me climb up that godforsaken hill. _

"I want to apologize for making you climb that hill and position yourself there. Sano did say you were bothered by that," The Captain continued.

_How sweet. He read my mind!_ I thought. Alright, so maybe I hadn't forgiven him earlier, but now it's all forgiven. He even apologized, so what else can I do?

"You see, it was all for your safety, really. There was a very low chance of anyone shooting at you from so high up and actually making the shot. But no worries, if you rather have it some other way, I won't make you a sniper any longer," He proposed. He began to move forward towards Sano and Katsu.

"Yes, that would be best. Unless of course you want me to shoot through the enemies' hats," I suggested shrugging, remembering my poor shot at the general. Captain Sagara laughed and I laughed a little too, following him. I couldn't be sarcastic anymore. What can I say, that laugh was contagious.

Sano and Katsu were excited about something or other, they kept pointing down the cliff and screaming out stuff.

"What on earth is the matter?" I inquired, stepping just behind them. I didn't go all the way to the tip though.

"Look, look! That village down there, they're having a festival!" Katsu exclaimed. Captain Sagara moved closer and looked down along with Sano and Katsu. I wanted to see too so I also stepped up a little, just to catch a peek. I saw a brilliance of colors, and indeed a village was having a merry festival of some sort.

I suddenly felt dizzy and I swayed a bit. I reached for my head but in doing so lost my balance. I didn't understand why just that peek got me feeling bad, how heights usually did. Suddenly Sano held on to the back of my shirt, Katsu to my right arm, and even the Captain onto my left. They pulled me back and steadied me.

"Nikoru! Are you alright?" Sano asked.

"Oh, yeah, I just have a mild fear of heights that's all. Thanks though guys, if you hadn't held on to me I could've fallen over," I replied a little shakily.

Katsu hugged me but only reached around my waist. "Sorry! I forgot you were afraid of heights!" Katsu wailed. _Can't you see I'm alright? You can let go of me now_, I thought embarrassingly but I didn't say anything. Katsu was a little sensitive, and I guess that was a close call just then.

"If you are alright, then perhaps we should see if we can make our way to that village," Captain Sagara said.

"Yeah!" Sano agreed instantly. Even though my head still hurt a bit, I wanted to go as well. All this traveling had gotten tiring and a little fun couldn't hurt. I was relived too that the Captain didn't prod on my fear of heights. I was a little self conscious about it.

"Let's go, let's go!" Sano ran back down the cliff and with a small smile Captain Sagara left too. Katsu stayed with me and descended down with me as well.

"You sure you want to go?" He asked, still worried I guess over me almost falling down the cliff.

"Yes, of course. You'll see, it'll be fun," I ruffled his hair to reassure him I was alright.

♡♡

The rest of the 1st unit thought it alright that we should go to that village. It was on the way, and everyone loved a nice festival. While everyone excitedly traveled down towards the gathering of huts that was the village, my headache only got worse. I also didn't feel very good in the stomach. I didn't understand how I was so sick; could all this be because of the small peek I gave to view the village from that cliff? It was just too ridiculous to be so. But when we finally got to the village, I decided to look for Koriin. I wouldn't have any fun if my head was throbbing the whole time.

Unfortunately, I missed Captain Sagara's speech. Everyone always looks forward to it, including me, even though all of us have at least heard it a hundred times. But it was his duty to proclaim it and various information to the villages we pass by. As I wove my away through our men, trying to spot Koriin, I only heard bits and pieces of it.

"The time of the strong exploiting the weak will pass! The time when there is no 'above' or 'below' will arrive, and we the Sekihotai Army will lead it in!"

How many times I've heard that, I don't know. Anyway, I spotted Koriin and explained to her my symptoms. She offered me medicine and said it would kick in about a moment from now, but not right away. I just nodded and took it, awaiting my head to heal. When I came back, the speech had ended, and I plugged my ears just in time as a cheer rose from the crowd. Cheering, yelling, bad things while you have a headache. However, it ended and the Sekihotai were free to join the village's festival. I couldn't find Sano or Katsu, but to cut away from the crowd I had to hurry in to the village.

There were actually more people inside then outside, but as always Katsu could find me in the blink of an eye.

"Nikoru!" He waved a dumpling stick. He was alone, and when I joined him I asked what happened to Sano. "Oh, he's just with the Captain," He replied looking around. He licked his lips at the sight of another dumpling stand.

"You sure are hungry. C'mon, let's get some more," I offered, and as to not lose him I grabbed his hand. We got to the dumpling stand and each took some, afterward departing to a less crowded place to eat peacefully. The more I ate the more my headache healed, and I was finally able to enjoy the village's festival. It was very well made, and had plenty of food and happy people. Around these times, this sort of sight was rare. The comfort it brought forth was very welcoming indeed.

While chewing my dumpling, I couldn't help but overhear two farmer's wives from the village talk to each other about Captain Sagara's speech.

"A tax reformation! Could it really be that this dream is happening?" One exclaimed happily. "Life is going to be much easier, eh?"

"I'm not too convinced. However, this commitment sure seems progressive toward the Revolution. At least now we know _someone's_ thinking of us," Another drawled. "I hope the Revolutionary government are good with keeping promises."

I chewed slowly, thinking this over. However much I regretted it, I hoped the same thing. I also had a few doubts that wouldn't go away. I wanted them too, because whatever the Captain of the 1st unit says has to be true. Why would he lie? I've known him long enough to know he's not that sort of person. He's the exact opposite. Right?

"...But where does he get the confidence that it'll truly happen. How does he know the government will pull through?" I wondered out loud. Big mistake. Katsu looked at me funny, I tossed my unfinished dumpling aside, and only turned to come face to face with the Captain. Sano was right next to him as always, but he hadn't paid any attention. He was ferociously devouring two dumplings at once.

"Why don't you ask him yourself," Captain Sagara replied softly. But it was a disappointed soft. His face was emotionless for the first time.

"I-I'm sorry. I...have to go," I turned to Katsu. "I have to go," I repeated to him, then I left.

"Nikoru, where?" Katsu wondered worriedly.

"Don't worry," I replied before I was far enough he couldn't hear me. I had to be alone for awhile, go over my troubling and confusing knot of thoughts. I may have seemed untroubled and peaceful up until now, but maybe this time I first realized how many things I was unsure of. I wanted to be alone, and was on my way on finding a nice comfortable corner to sit, but somebody had something else in mind. A hand had reached up and brushed against my arm, and even though I almost barely felt it, I turned around anyway by instinct.

I faced Captain Sagara again. But he was alone. No officers, no Sano. "Is there something bothering you?" He asked me. It was an odd question.

_You_, I thought. But I mustered a small smile instead and replied, "No, of course not. It's a beautiful day, and there's a wonderful festival going on. I just want to be alone for a little while." Hopefully that would give him the message. I truly wanted to be alone and stop talking. My headache I feared, was coming back.

"Alright. If there's anything ever wrong-,"

"No, no, please don't mind me. I'm fine. I swear," I insisted impatiently. It was bad enough he over heard me doubting him, so I wanted to walk away and forget the whole thing.

He continued giving me this sad, yet at the same time emotionless gaze. I guess it was just him not smiling, since I was so used to it. "I thought you would've understood by now," He suddenly said, changing tones. His gaze went past me and I turned around. He was watching a small crowd of villagers who had come together to watch a dance or something of the sort. Little kids in masks and waving around colorful flags and banners ran around, danced, and ate. The adults too watched them with happiness, clapping to the dance, cheering for them. I watched these villagers as well.

An emotion stirred in me, something I haven't felt in awhile. I believe it was happiness, and it came forth from the happiness the villagers were feeling. Isn't it odd, that you can be the saddest person in the world, but just take a moment to watch a happy scene and you'll suddenly laugh at just watching something so enjoyable? Even if it wasn't you having the fun, or feeling the happiness. You feel it yourself only afterward. And in that way you pass it on.

I realized just then. I realized everything. When I had left home, ever since I haven't felt truly happy. I had other emotions, like comfort, but that wasn't as fitting. However there were a great number of comfortable moments, even if they weren't exactly happiness. When my independence was awakened, and I joined this cause, I had yet to find out what it was for. This cause called the Sekihotai was just a way to fulfill my need to help the world I wanted to live in. I was still naive, I just joined thinking I automatically was fulfilling that need. But I hadn't truly understood it yet. I was just picking up the pieces, and as both lessons and experiences came forth after that, so did comfort and other good feelings to remind me I had done the right choice. Ever since I left my home, I hadn't felt comfort until meeting Kane. She was comforting to have, and I placed my inexperienced self in her hands. Later on, sharing campfires with Sano and Katsu, enjoying company with Koriin, watching Captain Sagara who was the most important man here, take time to merely play awhile with two little boys, all these things provided periods of comfort that told me this was how it should be. If whatever reason I was still confused inside, remembering my dear home and family gave me comfort. But the most comforting thing of all I hadn't accomplished yet. Though, right now, I did just that. I accomplished the understanding of why I was here. It has sunk it that I wasn't just here due to fate, not even destiny. It was my choice after all. I could've still been home, fending for my mother. However this great feeling of happiness finally came when I realized why I was here, in the Sekihotai, traveling around and telling these poor people that finally their dream will be realized. It wasn't just the look on their faces. It wasn't the cheering. It was the promise, the promise we've all been waiting for. All the doubts and worries I'd ever felt vanished within me, to a place I wish to never go back. Here, now, was my reason for sharing on the happiness.

What was doubted now is gone, what was confusing is now understood, and what was a mystery I now realized. It was so truly simple, that it made the happiness even more pure. What I truly wanted, and have always wanted, has always been a better future for everyone. I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone in having dreams, yet some dreams were destined to never be fulfilled. Now that's all going to change. What all these people and beyond want, what Captain Sagara wants, what I will always want, is just a new world. A new world of equality. The government promised this by making life easier on the farmer's that faced such harsh taxes, however it was our job to tell them. To complete the promise. We were the messengers of happiness. This commitment meant many things, meant more then one change. It meant _changes_. This was just one step, to the full pathway into which the Revolution will finally be accomplished. For now, at least, these people's dreams could be realized into reality.

"I do," I replied finally. In the absence of conversation, I didn't even truly remember what I was replying too.

"You...do what?" Captain Sagara wondered. I was surprised he was still next to me. I had been watching these villagers and thinking about my realization for it seemed a long time.

"I do understand. And I apologize for ever doubting you or the Sekihotai. I swear it won't happen again," I promised solemnly.

"Our struggles will decide if it comes in one year or ten. The happiness all these people deserve," He concluded quietly.

I turned to him and smiled admiringly. I was just so happy. And I felt proud too, to be part of such a grateful thing.

He began backing away, so as he could leave. I think he finally remembered the whole reason we were standing there alone, because I myself wanted to be alone to think over things. But there was no more need to think of those things anymore. It was all clear to me now, and that was that.

"Glad to see it," Captain Sagara said happily himself, a few steps ahead and getting even farther.

Before he completely left, I asked, "Glad to see what?" puzzled.

"That smile."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

♡♡

Our route turned around, so that we were traveling back the way we came. It was no use going any farther and Captain Sagara needed to check in with the government in the cities. On our way back, we met up with the various villages we had stopped by in. However, while my ideals of the Sekihotai remained strong through out those days, the more we traveled back, the more confused I got. I didn't understand why suddenly so many of the villages that we had visited were now empty. Some, I was sure there were people...but they refused to come out. This was the total opposite reaction that they used to have when we visited them. Sometimes this scared me and I couldn't sleep at night, thinking about it.

Other then these strange new happenings, I was getting closer to Captain Sagara. Katsu, Sano, the Captain, and I spent a lot of time with each other as we traveled back. I think its because earlier he was so busy commanding everyone; but now that we were merely heading back, there wasn't as much clueless people. Everyone knew what to do and where to go so it took a great load off of him.

Koriin unfortunately had left us for awhile, but Captain Sagara says she will be back soon. Koriin was missing her family and life in the city, and she needed to restock on medicine. She and a few officers left probably around a month ago. I wasn't really sure, you see, nobody really keeps track of the days here.

During the day I trained with Sano, helped out Katsu with his experiments, and often visited Captain Sagara in his tent. He usually told me funny stories, or asked my opinion on different things concerning the army and such. I don't really have any experience but he liked to hear my point of view. He also says I'm good with advice, and Katsu who was with me, agreed too. I've never really thought myself to be wise, and this was the first time. I actually didn't even know I gave advice...

At night Katsu and I loved building campfires. Sano joined in just because of the food, but he liked talking to us at the campfires too even though he never admits it. However it was mostly Captain Sagara that we talked too, and about. Katsu and Sano didn't really have any history, and everyone already knew mine, so it was up to Captain Sagara to keep us entertained since he was oldest and had a lot more stories. He shared everything about his life and I liked imagining him in his great mansion, walking amongst one of his numerous courtyards, gazing at the cherry blossom trees. I'm pretty sure that's what he did, I mean he said he lived in a mansion, that he had cherry blossom trees, and that he had courtyards. I just pieced everything together into a vision.

One night he told of his wife and kids. I wondered if his kids looked liked him, and if they liked him being away all the time in the army. But I mostly thought about his wife when he brought them up. He barely talked about her, and seemed to talk of his children more, but nonetheless she must be very lucky. She was probably tall, beautiful, and wise. She probably loved Captain Sagara very much and also didn't like him staying away for so long. Also she must wear elegant kimonos and her hair up, lady like, unlike me.

♡♡

I threw in a stick to kindle the fire. The night air wasn't as cold as Spring neared, but perhaps that was because of the fire. I was alone, awaiting Katsu and Sano to come back with more logs. The fire was small and weak and I felt a tad bit embarrassed to be sitting all alone with it, for it seemed I was a loner or something. I heard a familiar whistle, and turned around. The Captain walked towards me, blowing into a small leaf between his fingers. It was a talent he picked up, and he always did it when he was bored. We always knew it was him when we heard the familiar sound.

"Nice fire," He pointed out, giving a soft laugh and taking a seat beside me.

"Oh yeah, it sure is proud," I agreed sarcastically. I grinned and added, "Sano and Katsu are coming back soon with more logs. Those lazy bums however are taking forever."

"Hmm. Maybe they got lost."

"Hopefully."

I began to look around the ground for more sticks. Pretty soon this fire was going to die out on me.

Captain Sagara played another tune, and I turned to him.

"You really need that leaf?" I asked.

"Why?" He wondered, stopping his tune and smiling.

"Well...this fire is going to die out soon...it needs more fuel," I pointed out. I reached for his leaf but he pulled it away.

"I don't think so! Any other leaf won't work. Only this one," He lied. I knew he was lying, this has gotta be his 6th leaf at _least _today. I crossed my arms and huffed.

He laughed. Then to annoy me he continued to play on his stupid leaf.

"So your leaf is more important then our warmth?" I wondered, fanning the fire in a last attempt for it to stay alive.

"I'm fine without a fire. You three should try wearing warmer things other then training clothes." Captain Sagara pulled on his red, yellow, and grey coat vest.

"Alright. I'll apply to be a captain, then I'll get one of those vests. Then I'll be warm too," I declared sarcastically. Captain Sagara laughed again and shook his head.

"Captain Nikoru. Sounds bad. I wouldn't do it if I were you," He replied.

"If you were me, then I'd be you. Therefore I'd already have a coat," I pointed out. It usually ruined my jokes when I grinned, but Captain Sagara laughed so easy it was hard not to smile.

"Alright. You win." He took off his coat and handed it to me.

"What?" I looked at the coat he offered in puzzlement. "You're giving it to me?"

"Not forever. For tonight. You won captain of the day," He replied, extending the coat closer to me.

I took it and began putting it on.

"Awesome, alright!" I exclaimed. He laughed and twiddled his leaf while he watched me admire his coat. "Hey! Look at me! I'm Captain Sagara!" I announced, twirling around, showing the coat off.

"My, my! What a beautiful captain!" Captain Sagara called out.

"Oh yes, I'm the most charming of them all," I replied to him, then started to mock him. "Oh boy, what should I do? I have all these good looks and this handsome coat vest, yet _all _I want to do is play with a leaf." I began marching around, imitating him. "You! With the rooster hair! Come here. Sano you say your name is? Ten push ups! No, fifty! Yes, that's right. Get a haircut!" I ordered an imaginary Sano. The real Captain Sagara laughed so hard he almost fell back from where he was sitting.

"What the hell?" Came a voice. Sano and Katsu had come back and were staring at me like I was crazy.

"No potty mouths! One hundred push ups!" I commanded, pointing to the ground. Katsu laughed and Sano didn't budge.

"Who the heck are you to order me around?" Sano spat.

"Captain Sagara! Now do as I say!" I boomed, and Sano immediately dropped down to the ground in fright. Katsu and the Captain laughed and laughed. I was enjoying the attention. Sano was actually doing push ups! But I knew he was only doing that to show off how strong he was. I began laughing myself, and fell to the ground on accident, which only made me and the others laugh even more.

Then I began reciting Captain Sagara's speech. I had it down perfect. Katsu and the Captain applauded, and I took a bow. "Thank you, thank you," I said in a pretend serious voice, "To all my fans!"

Sano was done with the push ups and he even laughed. Captain Sagara laughed one last time, then he stood up. "And where are you going?" I grinned, even though I was sad he was leaving. "The longer you stay the longer I can keep the coat!"

Captain Sagara smiled. "I have to go to sleep. And you can bring me the coat in the morning." He bid good bye to Sano and Katsu and to me he said, "And_ don't_ wrinkle it," with a wink.

I saluted him. "Yes sir!" I replied. He waved to all of us then finally departed. I sat down beside the campfire again and started throwing in the logs that Katsu and Sano had brought.

"Actually Nikoru, you better keep the rest of those out. I think we should all go for tonight," Sano said, stretching and yawning.

"Aww, really?" I pouted, though I was sort of sleepy myself. Besides, without the Captain none of these campfires were fun anymore. I saved the rest of the logs, and Katsu put out the fire.

"You two may not be as tired, but you weren't forced to do a hundred push ups," Sano grumbled as we walked to our tents.

"I counted. You only did forty six," I pointed out. Katsu giggled and Sano turned red but looked away to hide it.

"No, I did a hundred. You were swooning in Captain Sagara's attention too much to notice," Sano fired back.

"Probably," I replied punching his shoulder.

♡♡

The next morning I began walking towards Captain Sagara's tent, smiling and cuddling his coat in my arms. I bid good morning to the people passing by me, and to the guards. However they didn't let me in. "But it's me, Nikoru. I need to give the Captain something," I said confused when they wouldn't let me pass.

"We're sorry Nikoru. The Captain is out and won't be coming back for a short while. Try again later."

I frowned. This was most unusual. He was always usually in, especially in the mornings. "Alright. Thank you anyway," I replied and turned around, heading back. I decided to drop off the coat at Koriin's, perhaps if she came back today and saw it she would give it back to him. But I wasn't really sure when she was coming back so I left the coat in my own tent, then decided to go visit Katsu and tell him about the Captain.

On my way there I passed by Koriin's tent and saw her through the tent opening. She was back! I smiled again, happy to see my friend here. I wanted to ask her what she did and if she had any news.

"Koriin?" I called, before I stuck my head in her tent. However, when I did, I saw her kneeling on the floor, sobbing in her hands. "Koriin!" I called more worried now, and ran to her.

She looked up and smiled through her tears. "Nikoru. How happy I am to see you again," She said in a choked voice.

"There's no time for polite greetings. Why are you crying like this? What happened?" I asked her frantically. She sniffed and I could tell she was trying hard not to sob again, but she did anyway and I put my arms around her to comfort her. She sobbed into my shoulder and I patted her back, wondering what could have caused the sweet, caring Koriin to cry her heart out.

"I know you're in grief, but it would help me a lot if I knew what you were crying for," I finally said gently, pulling her hair away from her face so it wouldn't get matted with tears.

Koriin pulled away from me, and wiped her eyes. "A-As you know, I went back to the city. To my house. It was after I restocked on medicine, and I was all set to go. All I wanted was to spend my last few days with my nieces and nephews," Koriin explained, and the more she wiped at her eyes the more the tears came. I remembered her nieces and nephews meant Captain Sagara's children.

"I couldn't even get to Sozo's house!" Koriin sobbed and began crying hard again.

"You're sad you never got to visit your nieces and nephews?" I asked politely.

"No, I never did, and never will again...," Koriin got up, and faced the tent wall. I watched her back as she continued crying but was trying not to sob so much. "They burned down his house."

"What? Who? Whose house?" I inquired hurriedly.

Koriin sniffed again. "My brother's house. They burned it down with...with everyone _still in it_."

Koriin hid her face in her hands.

I opened my mouth in stunned silence. No wonder Captain Sagara wasn't in his tent. He was probably out there somewhere, mourning this great loss. I felt like crying myself at the tragedy of this whole thing.

"Who...who did this? Who did this to Captain Sagara?" I wondered getting up as well.

"Excuse my rough language, but...those damn government pigs!" Koriin cried out placing a hand to her forehead.

_The government? But I thought they were on our side. What's going on?_ I wondered. I was more appalled and confused at this than with the villagers who ceased to come out anymore when we visited them.

"I better go tell Sano and Katsu. Don't try to cry too much, Koriin. It'll be ok," I replied gently, bowing to her.

"Thanks for your sympathy. I better finish unpacking all this stuff." Koriin bent down to a trunk and began taking medicine stuff out.

I walked out of her tent, then ran to where Katsu was. Fortunately both Katsu and Sano were together, walking towards camp. At least I wouldn't have to repeat the wretched news twice.

"Guys," I stopped them and they looked up at me worriedly. They noticed my flustered face, I guess.

"Nikoru, what's wrong?" Katsu wondered.

I swallowed. "Don't...don't tell anyone ok? I don't want it spread around. But...you know Captain Sagara's wife and kids?" I asked them, stalling. They nodded. "Well, they...they were killed. In a fire. Somebody burned down Captain Sagara's house." I skipped the part with the government. I didn't want to worry them.

"What!" Sano cried out angrily. Katsu looked down in respect.

"Don't tell anyone. And don't talk about it either, just incase someone's listening in. I just wanted you guys to know so you wouldn't worry about the Captain. He's probably going to act a lot different now," I explained, trying to refresh the image of him smiling and laughing in my mind. Unfortunately, he probably wouldn't smile or laugh for quite awhile now.

The boys nodded. They understood, of course. They had known the Captain longer than I have. I didn't even want to come near him at the moment really, I didn't want to see him so depressed. But I knew the boys are going to want to see him. And I still have his coat.

♡♡

The next day, when I was helping Koriin a little with patients (she was a real mess, and I gave her all the help I could) I noticed a letter on one of her table tops. It was an official letter pronouncing the following (Captain Sagara's wife and children) to be dead, due to so and so cause. I already knew the story thanks to Koriin, but what I really wanted to know was the date. It was September, and close to my birthday.

After Koriin was done with one of her patients, I walked up to her. "Hey, guess what? It's my birthday soon. We should celebrate together and lift your spirit a bit," I proposed.

Koriin smiled weakly. "It would be nice to celebrate something. Perhaps a break from mourning would do me good," She replied, but didn't say whether or not we were really doing anything. I thought about my own home and my mother. I wondered if she was going to send me something, or at least think about me on my birthday. I also wondered if she was even still alive, with her sickness and all. It's been quite awhile now that I've been in the Sekihotai.

When I told Sano and Katsu, Katsu immediately left for his storage tent, saying he was going to work on something just for me. I laughed, shaking my head at that little kid. "Is he really going to make me something for my birthday?" I wondered to Sano, for I didn't really mind if I got anything.

"Probably," He replied, biting into a dumpling. Was it me, or was this kid always eating?

As predicted, nobody saw any sign of Captain Sagara for awhile. Some said he was cooped up in his tent, some say he had gone to travel on his own for awhile. I walked up to his tent everyday to get the same news, that he wasn't there. I didn't want his coat anymore and thought he should have it back. He needed to become our Captain again.

One day I was sewing a pair of Katsu's pants that had ripped on the knee, and I guess I looked pretty miserable because Koriin came up to me with a smile. I looked up at her in surprise; it was quite awhile since she's smiled.

"What's up?" I asked her, setting aside the pants.

"I was in too much grief to pay attention properly, but I remember what you said a few days ago. Today is your birthday, isn't it?" Koriin asked, sitting beside me.

"Yes. Yes it is," I displayed a small smile, and looked down. I was nineteen today.

"Has anyone remembered?"

"Sano and Katsu have. I'm still expecting a letter from my mother soon though. Hopefully it didn't get lost coming here," I replied. Hopefully she hasn't passed away yet. I tried not to think about it and rubbed my eye before I started crying. A letter wasn't much of a gift but for me it was everything I hoped for.

"Well that's good. I miss my mother as well," Koriin said. She then pulled out from her sleeve a small little case. It was wooden, painted red, and also had a pretty purple flower painted on it. "Here. Happy Birthday."

I smiled at her and took it. When I opened it, it was some sort of clear balm stuff. "What's this?" I asked.

"It's this very handy medicine. It works on everything and heals much faster then almost any kind of medicine anywhere. It was a gift to me, you see it's very expensive. I don't think I'll need it anymore and you can definitely use it," Koriin explained.

"Thank you!" I gave her a hug and carefully hid the medicine on me so that it wouldn't get lost.

"Now, I want you to do something for me," Koriin said, her smile fading. She looked down at her hands.

"What is it?" I asked worriedly.

"It's Sozo, my brother. He's back from wherever he went, and is sulking in his tent. He won't talk to anyone and nobody knows where he's been. Maybe you could talk to him?" She wondered.

"Why me?" I also wondered. Though it was nice to know she thought Captain Sagara would open up to me.

"You're one of his good friends. He used to talk about you all the time, and he was very glad you two were friends. If he won't open up to me, he'll do it for you," Koriin explained, then smiled. "I'm glad he has you."

"Me?" I repeated, still dumbfounded.

Koriin gave a small laugh. "Yes! Yes _you_. I mean, you're a wonderful friend and person. I'm glad I'm close to you as well. Look how special you are; this is the first time since I've smiled in days," Koriin proclaimed. "So go on. Go to his tent."

"Alright...," I replied, still confused. I couldn't believe Captain Sagara talked about me..._all the time?_

"And I believe he'll be wanting his coat back," Koriin added.

"Oh yeah. Yes, I'll give him that too while I'm there," I replied, and before heading off to his tent I picked up his coat.

So here I was, walking once again to his tent, with his coat in my arms. This time the guards let me in with a warning. Captain Sagara wasn't looking too happy.

_Well, of course_, I thought sarcastically. _How would you look if your whole family died? _

I went up to his door and waited a moment, placing my ear up to it to hear if anyone was inside. I couldn't tell and finally knocked lightly. I swallowed, wondering what I would say. _Hey, Captain, I got your coat. Oh yeah, and I hear your wife and kids died? _

I heard footsteps and Captain Sagara opened the door. He had a deep frown that didn't fit his handsome young face. Upon seeing it was me however, I saw it lift a bit. "Come in," He said quietly, ushering me inside.

I walked in and came upon the familiar smell of ink, and dust. Captain Sagara had a lot of maps laying around on tables, and lots of parchment and ink for letters. Since we moved a lot there wasn't much else that he needed. I turned to him and held up his coat, smiling.

"Look what I brought," I said in a cheerful voice. He looked up for a moment, then cast his eyes downward again in a miserable motion. He sat down on his cot and made a whisking motion with his hand.

"Place it somewhere," He replied dully. My smile dropped and I sighed. He was so depressed, it made _me _depressed just looking at him. I placed his coat over his desk chair, and stood in front of him, tapping my foot.

"Well?" I asked impatiently, looking at him just as impatient too. "Don't you have something to say to me?"

Captain Sagara looked confused for a moment and gave a pathetic attempt at a shrug. "I'm not sure," He replied.

I sat next to him. "Well, it's my birthday for starters," I said more gently. "And where have you been this whole time? Everyone was really worried..."

"I was away. I needed to be alone for awhile," He replied, rubbing his forehead. "Oh, and Happy Birthday," He added quickly knowing I'd notice.

I laughed. "Thank you. Well, did you get enough time alone? Because tonight Katsu's going to show me my birthday present and I've been awaiting it for almost forever. Alright so maybe a few days. But I'm curious to know what it is. Aren't you?" I wondered.

Captain Sagara yawned. "I'm not sure. I'm a bit tired."

"That was such a fake yawn."

"No it wasn't."

"Well you're going, and that's it. Understood?" I ordered, standing up. He stood up too, facing me.

"And who are you to order me around?" He wondered, his tone more or less back the way it used to be. However he still didn't smile.

"Captain Nikoru," I replied smirking. I poked his chest. "And you better come, or else I'll be very sad. And angry. You don't want to see me angry," I pointed out.

"No, that I don't," Captain Sagara replied, the verge of a smile playing his lips. Noticing it I smiled real big, just to make him feel bad.

"See you tonight," I waved and started to leave.

"I might not come," Captain Sagara warned again. I turned around and saw that he was serious. I might have lifted his spirits up a bit but he was still in misery and grief.

"Why not? It'll do you good," I insisted. _It won't be the same without you there_, I added in my mind.

"Did...did you hear what happened?" He suddenly asked. Something told me he's been wanting to ask that for awhile now. I looked at him and pursed my lips, nodding. "You do know. So why won't you let me mourn awhile longer? I'm not in the mood to get cheered up just yet," He added bluntly.

"I know how you feel. You feel as if you want to mourn forever. The truth is you can't, and it won't do you any good if you do. These past few days you've been gone, and I think that's enough. Anymore and everyone would have been seriously worried...you might've even lost your position," I explained solemnly. Without thinking I reached up and brushed to the side the wide bang of hair that sometimes hid his right eye. I was trying to let him see me more clearly because I was being completely serious. However, that reaction reminded me of my mother when she often teased me about my own hair and its habit of hiding my left eye. These days I usually put my hair up to train, or placed that side bang behind my ear so I can see with both eyes. But this was the first time it actually reminded me of my mother. I pulled at it; my side bangs, and felt a tear run down my face.

I was just now talking about a completely different situation, but all of a sudden I realized I missed my home terribly.

"Don't cry," Captain Sagara spoke up, and I looked at him confused. Oh, right. I was in his room. I was supposed to be persuading him to come to my birthday surprise. I guess he thought I was crying because I wanted him to come. "I'll come. I'll just have to take a nap first."

I didn't bother telling him the reason I was crying was because I was homesick. I wanted him at my birthday too.

♡♡

I let Captain Sagara have his nap, and awaited for nightfall for that was when Katsu said he'd show me my present. I often asked around if any mail was received, but there was none. I was getting very homesick but I tried not to let it get to me. We were already traveling back, soon I'd be home in no time. I didn't need a letter to tell me Mother was fine, I knew she was.

As the sun went down behind the mountains, I made my way over to the storage tent, where Katsu could always be found, mixing his little experiments and messing with the gun powder. I was probably a bit early, since Katsu said nightfall, but there was nothing else I had to do and to tell you the truth I was really anxious. I wanted to see the present and I wondered if the Captain was going to show up.

When I got to the tent I found Sanosuke playing with a stick on the ground, and heard Katsu clattering around inside.

"What's Katsu up too?" I asked Sanosuke, laying beside him on the ground.

"Adding the finishing touches to your present," Sano replied simply, snapping the stick with one hand multiple times until it was a bunch of pieces.

"Man, I wish he'd hurry up!" I joked.

"Is that Nikoru?" Katsu yelled from inside.

"Yup!" Sano yelled back. Katsu then appeared, his handsome boyish face now covered in soot, and his whole self smelling like smoke and gun powder.

"Oh, Katsu! Go wash up or something," I complained, grinning at him.

"Sorry! I'm almost done!" He cried frantically and disappeared back inside. Sano and I laughed.

Koriin showed up moments later, on break, and wanting to know the big birthday surprise. I told her how I tried to persuade her brother to come, and she said he most likely would. My spirits lifted a bit, and even more so after Koriin brought out her sake.

"Happy Birthday Nikoru!" She called out happily and we did a cheers. I laughed and sipped it down.

Sano complained that he wanted some but of course Koriin and I forbid it.

Finally it was completely dark, and everyone started cheering for Katsu to come out. He did, and we applauded, and even during the night I saw the blush on his face.

"Well, as you all know, it is Nikoru's birthday, and I have prepared the following just for her. So, Happy Birthday Nikoru!" Katsu announced and I laughed, thanking him.

Sano got up to help Katsu, and the both of them carried something out of the tent. But I didn't receive it, for they then walked ahead of where Koriin and I were seated, and started setting something up.

"What on earth are they doing?" Koriin wondered, and I just shrugged. I didn't know either, but all the same this had got to be the happiest day of my Sekihotai life so far. I myself was really happy and enjoying Katsu's efforts to make everything so perfect. So much so, that he and Sano took almost forever setting up whatever they were doing, and Koriin and I started to complain.

"Alright! Alright! Ok, it is ready!" Sano called out.

"Stay there!" Katsu instructed Koriin and I, so we kept still, sitting where we were on the ground with our sake cups.

Suddenly a loud boom was heard, and the sky lit up. Little red lights that looked like stars rained down, and Koriin and I clapped.

"How wonderful! He made his own fireworks show, just for you!" Koriin exclaimed, and I nodded, smiling. This was certainly the biggest gift I've ever gotten!

Koriin and I stood up and after every firework we clapped our hardest, cheering Katsu. I looked around and saw that many of the camp's inhabitants began stopping whatever they were doing to watch the show. Though, even though almost everyone was here, someone was missing...

I enjoyed the show very much, but almost halfway through it I was overcome with a deep sadness that Captain Sagara didn't bother to show up. I didn't want to ruin it for everyone by acting depressed, so I didn't show my true feelings.

Just as I was telling myself not to think about it, Koriin said something I didn't hear because of the fireworks, and she left. I wondered if she was coming back and what she was doing. I was alone for awhile then, but all the same I didn't stop clapping and cheering Katsu on as he displayed all the beautiful fireworks he created himself, all of various colors and styles. Then I heard an applause other then mine, and I turned around to find the Captain right next to me, and smiling at me.

I beamed and cried out, "So you really did decide to come!"

"Sorry I was late," He replied loud enough so I could hear too. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

I laughed, and stepped back so I could be closer to him. In doing so I accidentally stepped on one of Koriin's sake cups, breaking it. I looked down to see but was suddenly preoccupied with something else. Captain Sagara had taken a hold of my hand, and when I looked up at him he was watching the fireworks. For the first time in a quite awhile, there was a most brilliant smile on his face, and it seemed to light up ten times more due to the firework lights.

He noticed me watching him. He then looked at me and said, "Happy Birthday."

"You've already said that, but thanks anyway," I replied smiling. I looked back up to the show and the lights seemed fuzzed out and irregular. I hiccuped. I shouldn't of have drunken that much sake.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

♡♡

The rest of the night went by pretty smoothly, however I can't remember much. I woke up with a mild headache and unwilling to get out of bed, which was the completely opposite of my usual self. I always woke up early and was in a steady state to do anything, but its been quite awhile since I've had any drink in me. In the morning of the next day, Koriin laughed at me for wasting so much of her sake.

"It was _my_ birthday!" I cried out defensively.

"Well, next time I already know not to bring too much out. I considered your personality and had no idea you were so sake prone," Koriin continued, giggling.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied rolling my eyes.

Last night Katsu's show went on for much of the night, and ended in the very peak of morning. That's probably another reason why I woke up so late. I really loved his show, and I remember thanking him every other minute and hugging him.

Still thinking about last night, when I finally found him I gave him another big hug, thanking him for the wonderful birthday surprise.

"Sheesh, Nikoru, are you still drunk?" Katsu wondered worriedly. Sano snickered.

"Of course not! Can't I thank you for being the wonderful person you are?" I inquired, letting go of him.

"Well, yes, but you already made that clear last night," Katsu replied scratching his head.

"You wouldn't stop thanking him," Sano reminded me.

"Yes, I know, I still remember!" I gave Sano's shoulder a light punch.

"Just reminding you," Sano replied putting his hands up.

I laughed and twirled a strand of my hair round my finger. "My hearing's still not back after all those fireworks," I noted to Katsu.

"Oh, that happens. The ringing will go away after a couple of days," Katsu told me.

"A couple of days?" I cried out. "That long?"

Sano and Katsu laughed. "What? You don't trust Katsu? He's the bomb expert. I'm surprised he can still hear after all this time," Sano said, slapping Katsu's ear.

"Ow," Katsu murmured.

"You're lying," I prompted.

"Fine, it'll go away in awhile. I think it depends on the person," Katsu told me.

I shrugged and began turning away from them. "Hey, where are you going? The eating tent is that way," Sano pointed out.

I giggled and shook my head. "I'm not eating breakfast with you guys this morning. Gonna go see the Captain!" I waved at them and continued to leave.

I walked to the Captain's tent, humming. However today I didn't have to go inside, I saw Captain Sagara already coming out and talking to his officers.

It looked important so I just followed them at a distance until all the scary looking officers went away. As I've said, I never really liked them.

The minute Captain Sagara was alone I sneaked up behind him. "Boo!" I cried out and laughed when he jumped.

"Oh, hey you," He smiled at me and tucked some papers under his arm.

"So, what is up?" I asked, doing a cart-wheel once and facing him.

He laughed. "Oh, nothing," He replied.

"You seem jumpy though," I noted, poking him on the arm.

"I'm just worried that's all. Army stuff, you wouldn't understand," Captain Sagara said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I would _too _understand!" I pouted. He just laughed and dropped the subject. I told him awhile later I had to meet up with Sano and Katsu, and he went off to do some more Captain business.

I entered the eating tent and found Katsu and Sano talking at one corner.

"Hey guys," I greeted, sitting with them.

"Look who showed up. The Captain's little girlfriend," Sano sneered.

"Shut up," I replied angrily.

"How is the Captain? I didn't get to talk to him recently whatsoever, and didn't really get a good chance at your birthday," Katsu said.

"He's fine...a bit jumpy and worried though. He wouldn't tell me why," I replied suspiciously.

"Oh," Katsu looked down, then back up at Sano.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"Nothing. We just heard some guys talking about it earlier. It seems on our way back to the city there have been attacks on the other units," Katsu explained.

"Attacks? By who?" I wondered.

"No one knows. We haven't been targeted yet. But I hope Captain Sagara heard the rumors and he prepares us and stuff. Wouldn't it be awesome if we had another battle like that ambush a long time ago?" Sano asked excitedly.

"That wasn't too long ago," I said more to myself, but I too couldn't deny how long I've been in the Sekihotai. Part of me wanted to go back to the city and welcome back my old lifestyle, but the other part of me wants to stay here with the boys. And the Captain. "I hope Kane is alright. She was a friend of mine in the 3rd unit," I added.

"They were only attacks, no real wars or anything," Sano replied bluntly. I still worried a little, but didn't say anything else relating to the matter. It was just too bothersome to occupy my mind with.

♡♡

We had started moving again, but there wasn't the usual hubbub of everyone happy to be coming home. I found that more and more of our troop men were fidgety, jumpy, and nervous. My close friends however were still their amiable selves, and did not seem to be affected by whatever it was that was infecting everyone lately. I too, didn't fear anything and only wondered in puzzlement at this change.

It was then that suddenly we had an emergency stop. I was truly scared for a moment, because one of these had never occurred.

"What's going on?" I asked Katsu, but he didn't know.

"We should find Sano. He'll be with the Captain, and would probably know," Katsu advised. We walked through the mobs of men, pushing past and sneaking our way to the front. In the sudden stop, everyone had huddled together to wonder to one another what had happened. In my impatience, I even had to shove some people, but was quick enough to not get shoved back.

I walked right up to the Captain. "Hey, what's going on?" I wondered quietly, looking up at him.

His face was tense and looking around...trying to spot an enemy? Were we being attacked?

"Back off wretch! No one goes up to the Captain! No leaving the troop!" A guard suddenly barked, and took me off guard. They pushed me and in my confusion and in-balance I fell to the ground.

"Hey!" Captain Sagara snapped. "She's with me."

"Ow," I rubbed my left elbow, and looked up to the sheepish guards. I also noticed Sano and Katsu up with the Captain, looking worriedly at me, then at the Captain. I was a little shocked myself. I've never seen him so mad. Well, I was a little angry too. I would have thought the guards recognized me, just like Sano and Katsu.

"Sorry Captain," One replied and another one helped me up. I spit in his face and pulled my hand free from his grasp.

"Teaches you right," I went on to say. "Haven't you recognized me by now?" I snapped. The guards just scowled at me, and the one who I spit at wiped his face.

"No need to get cocky now Nikoru. Just stand by and wait for orders," Captain Sagara said to me, facing forward again as if he was looking, even waiting for something.

Katsu went up to me and hugged my arm. "Everyone's on edge. I'm scared," He mumbled. I didn't reply, and pat his head to reassure him.

"Baby," Sano rolled his eyes and stood next to the Captain, looking around intensely too as if he knew what was to come.

"Let's move again. I guess it was nothing. Tell everyone to be armed and ready, we might get ambushed," Captain Sagara said suddenly to an officer. The officer went on to tell everyone and the guards passed it on too.

I hilted my dagger to myself, and looked up to a _katana _close to my face. "Here," Captain Sagara's voice was gentle all of a sudden and he gave me a small smile. "You know how to use one, right?"

I took the sword and looking it over, I nodded. "Is this yours?" I wondered.

"Yes. Be careful with it now. Sano, Katsu, you two are ready right?" Captain Sagara asked them.

Sano nodded and began punching, and kicking the air. "Am I ever!" He exclaimed. Katsu was already loading a rifle as we spoke. It seems everyone was ready. But was I?

"What exactly are we getting ready _for_, Captain?" I asked Captain Sagara.

"Please. Call me Sozo," Captain Sagara replied absent mindedly as an officer came to him with a horse.

My eyes widened and I nodded rapidly. "Uh huh. Ok Cap-I mean Sozo," I replied blushing.

"Good. I have to go now. You three are going to be careful right?" Captain Sagara asked, climbing upon his horse and pulling on the reins so the horse calmed down and turned.

As an answer we all just saluted him. I wanted to say something else, something more, but the timing wasn't right. He left and Sano turned to me.

"We're following you now. Captain Sagara always said to follow you if he wasn't present," Sano said.

"Me?" I cried dumfounded. But it really wasn't a bad choice. I swung around Captain Sagara's sword proudly, smirking. "Of course me," I continued.

Sano sneered. "If you're going to act all conceited about it, I'm not following you anywhere," He spat.

"Who said I was conceited?" I replied twirling the sword now at my side. Sano rolled his eyes.

Everyone started to follow the trail again, except we were on high alert incase an attack occurred.

I wasn't betting anything on it at the moment, because everything seemed fine and quiet. The day passed by with no attacks. The night went just as smooth, and even as we entered the morning of the next day nothing happened.

I was bored. I had worked up excitement and nerves for nothing. Such is the fighting spirit, it's very odd. You don't want it but it feels so nice when it happens. By the end of your army days, you start hoping for more, you know? More adventure, to cover up all those peaceful days in which nothing happened. Surely I haven't trained all my worth for this. Did the Revolution perhaps end, without us knowing?

That still didn't explain the rumors of those attacks, though. Perhaps some bored idiot such as myself made them up just to excite everyone. However, those rumors were still getting the Captain worried. Or was it because he knew something else?

A few days later, a cry went out while we were marching. Arrows were being shot at us from a certain location far off, and we were being ambushed at a distance. Most of us hid among the forests (like myself) and we only lost a few men. Those minor attacks stopped shortly after an hour or so.

The only thing that bothered me was that I didn't know who was doing this and why.

We were only a few weeks away from home at one point, when the attacks increased. Frequent ambushes, head on battles at times, everything. I did quite a lot of fighting and hardly got injured, but it wasn't skill, it was sheer luck. Every battle we lost more men.

Then one day, we had another attack. Captain Sagara was impatient, and angered that we were getting attacked so often. He ordered everyone to charge head on at them and kill as many as we could.

It was during battles that the rare sight of Katsu, Sano, and I split up. Sano usually fought alongside with the Captain, and Katsu always managed the rifles and bombs. At first I lingered at the sidelines, ready to kill but hesitating to. Once the chance of fighting finally comes, it's scary. Whether it's a small battle or a big one, you still have a chance of dying. I mostly used the sword Captain Sagara lent me, and seldom used a rifle like many of the other men. Call me old fashioned, but I still couldn't handle those things right and was more comfortable with slicing rather than shooting.

In this battle however, our army couldn't afford anyone to linger at the sidelines. I carried a rifle with me and the sword, and at first just shot and ducked at a distance. But the battle was moving, so I had to keep walking forward.

At one point I went too far out, and was cornered by men on all sides. Most of them were on my army, but when things got ugly, you couldn't even tell anymore. I quit using the rifle once it ran out, and I didn't have time to reload it again. I was about to toss it when I sensed a sword near me, and quickly moved to the side just as an enemy sword almost sliced my shoulder.

He went for me again, but I blocked his hit with my rifle; using my other hand I sliced his stomach with my sword. He fell to the ground and I jumped over him, moving on. Don't go thinking I'm some heartless killer, but it really was the best way to manage this situation. If you didn't think about it, you went through it more easily. I learned to pay no mind to the blood dripping from my sword and clothes; if you are one who is pure and has never killed a man, then you wouldn't understand how blood gushes work. Sometimes blood goes _everywhere_, and it's a nuisance really. It's hard to wash off clothes.

I couldn't tell who was winning, and who was losing. When I saw men sprawled on the ground, I could only occasionally tell if they were enemy or not by if they wore a red headband. However, I spotted Captain Sagara at a distance, riding his horse close to enemies and slicing their heads off. Sometimes literally.

I ran forward, trying not to step on too much human rubble, and was almost reaching him. My ears accustomed to the ring of gunshots, but the closer I got to Captain Sagara I heard more booms from canons. Smoke filled the air, and I couldn't tell if this was enemy fire or not.

I coughed, and my eyes stung. I tripped over bodies and couldn't see a thing. Suddenly, I heard another canon shot boom, and I heard its whistle. A moment later I flopped to the ground, my leg blazing in pain. I cried out, and noticed alarmingly that I got bombed in the leg.

I screamed and screamed, even though my throat quickly got parched from all the smoke and dust around. I was in so much pain, all I could do was scream it out. I fingered the wound once I could see it clearly, but it hurt even more when I did. Tears swelled up in my eyes and I kept crying out in pain.

Still more bombs and bullets were whizzing by, and so were people. I lay flat on the ground, the only form of protection I could have conceived at the moment. I looked around to figure out what was going on. I lay there, in so much pain I couldn't even concentrate correctly. I stopped looking around because it was only making me dizzy. I lay my head against the ground, gritting my teeth against the pain from my leg. It felt as if it was on fire. However, a few moments later I fell unconscious.

♡♡

I felt myself shaking and heard the cries of voices. I heard the squeak of wheels nearby. I fluttered my eyes open and immediately sat up. I screamed out and tears ran down my face.

Cool hands pressed against my fevering face, and I looked up to Koriin. She shushed me gently. "It's going to be alright Nikoru," She murmured.

"Where am I?" I cried out frantically. I saw scenes of nature passing by and registered that I was on a cart of some sort. The sound of horse hooves could be heard, and I understood that by horseback I was being taken somewhere. But where? Where was the army? What happened to that battle? Where was Sano, Katsu, and Captain Sagara?

"My leg," I gasped out. With every rock the cart skidded on, searing pain was sent down my leg.

"We know. Don't worry about it now, we're taking you back to the city. You'll get healed, don't worry," Koriin told me. I looked up at her in puzzlement. The city? I was being taken back _home_?

"No, I don't wanna go back. I wanna stay in the Sekihotai!" I cried out.

Koriin merely patted my head, not replying. I was frantic and wanted off this cart and back to the Sekihotai, where they needed me.

"Where is everyone?" I cried out again.

"Katsu and Sano were kept at camp. They'll be coming to visit you soon," Koriin explained.

"What about Captain Sagara?" I asked.

"Sozo is here. He was the one who rescued you," Koriin gave me a small smile. "If it weren't for him we would have never found you. You could've died out there."

"I want to see him. Where is he?" I asked shrilly.

Koriin looked back at the driver taking us. She called something out to him, and I heard more voices.

Soon I saw a horse come up beside the cart, and I looked up.

"Nikoru!" Captain Sagara called from atop the horse. "Are you ok? You've been unconscious since we've found you," He explained.

"I'm fine. Where are we going?" I asked, wiping my face from the earlier tears I shed. Now my leg wasn't hurting as much and just had a numb, tingling feeling.

"You'll find out soon enough. Just trust me," Captain Sagara smiled down at me.

"I trust you," I replied, giving him a weak smile back.

"We're almost there. Just hold on for awhile longer, ok Nikoru?" Koriin told me. Captain Sagara rode his horse next to the cart I was in for awhile, but then rode ahead to make sure our course was right. I wondered who was commanding the army while he was gone.

After awhile different scenes passed by around me. I recognized sites and buildings as we drifted through the city. I hadn't realized how close the Sekihotai was to finally coming back home, and felt bad I got to come alot quicker because of a mere battle wound, while everyone else was back in camp.

"Are we in Tokyo?" I wondered, just to make sure.

"Correct. This is where my brother and I own a family mansion. That is where we're going now," Koriin explained.

I was going to Captain Sagara's family mansion?

We neared it and I looked upon its magnificent grandeur. The gates, the courtyard we passed through, and the wondrous building itself. Some of it was just like how I pictured it, when Captain Sagara told stories at campfires about his home.

"Hurry, I really want to get off this cart," I told Koriin tiredly. I was restless yet exhausted, and my back hurt from that long, uncomfortable cart ride.

Koriin helped me up and examined my back and neck. "From the cart ride you've bruised mildly, but I assume you much rather have your leg healed for now instead?" She asked.

"Yes please," I replied, and the moment I even lingered my foot against the ground, undescribable pain spread up my leg. "Ow!" I yelped, wincing. I stood on my good leg, with my wounded one hovering just above the ground.

"Oh, this is so dreadful," Koriin muttered, seeming on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry; I got it," Captain Sagara spoke, coming out of nowhere. He had gone to put his horse away and apparently rushed over here.

"Sozo, would you carry her inside the house? I'll reach the doctor immediately," Koriin said and ran somewhere.

"Won't Koriin heal me?" I wondered, trying my best to hide my scarlet face as Captain Sagara picked me up and began carrying me in the house.

"No, I'd much rather a professional and wise doctor take a look at that leg," Captain Sagara replied, and I couldn't help chuckling.

All conversation ceased however at that point as I glanced around the Captain's wondrous mansion. It literally took my breath away, and the whole experience cheated me of my manners.

"Didn't your house catch on fire?" I asked accidentally. I immediately shut my mouth and hoped nothing else rude of the sort slipped out. At a time like this, why did I have to go remind him?

"That was the house I bought for my wife and I. However, this mansion is my childhood home and, since the incident, where I reside temporarily since I haven't had time to manage anything yet," Captain Sagara replied with an emotionless face. "But, I rather live here anyway," He added with a small smile.

I didn't say anything else lest I come up with something even more dreadful to say. Captain Sagara carried me through an elegant hallway on the second floor, and finally to a beautiful furnished room that seemed not to occupy anyone.

"This is one of the guest rooms. As you can see, we have many," Captain Sagara said as he lay me on the exquisitely styled Western bed.

"Yes, I saw," I replied, and always wondered if mansion owners even occupied half the rooms mansions usually contained.

"Koriin should be back shortly. We'll stay with you until the doctor comes. I assure you, you will be fine; my family only hires the finest German doctors," Captain Sagara explained, looking over my leg worriedly.

I sighed, resting my head against big and soft pillows I wasn't accustomed too. The whole bed had an unfamiliar feel; this was my first time laying upon a Western one. As I looked around the room I saw that the Sagara family, even in their guest rooms, possessed many fashionable and modern furniture and the like from Western countries.

"That battle," I started as Captain Sagara removed his coat and headband, then proceeded to take a seat next to my bed. "It was the toughest one we've seen. I mean, if even _I_ got hurt..."

He laughed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that was one battle I don't want to remember. However, we didn't lose as many men as last time...," Captain Sagara drummed his fingers against his lap.

"It was bad," I finished for him and he nodded, looking particularly worried. I looked up at him and waited until he caught my stare. I smiled and he smiled back.

"Don't worry. You'll be ok," He said softly.

"_We'll_ be ok," I rephrased for him. I reached for his hand the same time he reached for mine. "I don't know how to thank you for rescuing me...I would have never seen any of my hometown friends or family again," I continued, feeling tears come again. Now that I was in town, I could visit my mother...

"I'll invite them personally to come by and see you. But, we'll wait until you're more or less cleaned up and healed," Captain Sagara chuckled.

"Thank you," I whispered and felt my exhaustion kick in from all the earlier trauma. I lightly closed my eyes and felt Captain Sagara caress my face a little while later. When he let go of my hand and I heard the door open, I knew Koriin had come inside.

"He'll be here shortly," I head her say to the Captain.

"Alright," I heard him reply back. But it sounded very far away, and pretty soon I didn't hear anything at all.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

♡♡

I fluttered my eyes open only to give a little shriek. Sano's face was hovering above mine, a little too close for comfort. I pushed him off and sat up. "What are you thinking?" I demanded rubbing my eyes.

Katsu laughed but Sano just looked annoyed. "I was checking to see if you were waking up, is all," Sano replied crossing his arms. "Besides, I'm afraid we have bad news..."

My eyes widened and my heart jumped to my throat. "What?" I cried out.

Sano looked very crestfallen as he didn't look at me. "I'm afraid...," He started, "That we had to amputate your leg."

"_What_?" I repeated, and quickly flung off the covers. I heard the laughing even before I looked. Sure, my leg was pretty messed up at the moment, but it was still there. I angrily rolled my eyes over to Sano who was laughing his head off, slapping his knee.

"You should have seen your face!" He was crying out.

"That wasn't funny. You_ know_ it could've happened," I scolded him. Sano wasn't listening and walked out of the room laughing.

Katsu gave me a small smile and walked up to my bedside. "We didn't really have to amputate your leg, but it was a close call. The doctors said that you can't walk on it for a whole month or so," Katsu explained gently.

I sighed with frustration. "I don't wanna be stuck in a bed for a whole month," I whined. Where's that rifle when you needed it?

Katsu laughed. "You can get out in crutches. But Captain Sagara ordered that you mustn't leave the house until you're fully well...," At this Katsu looked a bit sad. I knew what he meant, and suddenly I was sad too.

"No more Sekihotai for me," I murmured.

"Or me." I looked up at Katsu puzzled but he was giving me a genuine smile. "I'm not going to leave you here all by yourself. I'm sure they can do without me," He explained.

"Katsu, no! You have to go back. You're the best gun powder person we have!" I protested.

Katsu shook his head. "I wasn't the only one. I was just the more..._obsessed _one," He replied. At this we both laughed. "But anyway," Katsu continued, turning serious, "There isn't much left to do. Most of the 1st unit is coming back home anyway; I'm _sure _they don't need me." He gave me another reassuring smile before turning to leave.

"Katsu, wait," I called and he turned around. "Where are those crutches?"

♡♡

I carefully limped my way down the hall and when I came to the stairs, I blew the side bangs away from my face in frustration. _Everything so I can't get out of my room_, I thought irritably.

Katsu came back from my room and also noted the stairs. "How are we going to get you down those?" He wondered, stating the obvious.

"I'm not sure. But I have to get out of this house, see people, eat, something," I replied desperately. I'm not sure how long I've been in that room, but to me it felt like ages. Katsu nodded and held my arm lightly.

"Let's try getting you down step by step. I'm here if you fall," He assured me.

"I'm not scared of going down a flight of stairs Katsu," I pointed out bluntly, but as I stared down at them I felt a bit of nerves creep up in my stomach. One fall and I'd lose my leg for sure.

"Just saying," Katsu replied, breaking my thoughts. He descended on one stair and held my arm as I slowly put down my good leg first, then the wounded one. That's how it went, and after we were half way through, I paused to rest.

"It's surely been an hour since we've started," I pointed out tiredly.

Katsu just chuckled. "Patience, Nikoru," He said and extended his arm for me to hold on to so we could start again. Finally, we were down those stupid stairs and I gave a little cheer of happiness. In doing so I almost fell but Katsu caught me in time.

Suddenly a maid came out of nowhere and ushered me into the kitchen. I looked back at Katsu, who was following me, and gave him a confused look. He shrugged and was suddenly startled when the maid turned on him.

"Go get Lady Nikoru new day clothes; she can't walk around the mansion like this!" She snapped. I looked down at myself and noticed for the first time I was still wearing the clothes I had worn when the battle took place. Not only did I need new day clothes, but a bath would be nice...

Katsu obediently rushed back and I looked up at the maid. "Thanks, but...I don't really need you fussing over me," I said modestly, scratching the back of my neck.

"Captain's orders," She bluntly replied and walked off. I rolled my eyes; of course. I took a seat at the table and looked in fascination around the kitchen. Most of it was Western styled; and I noted that the whole mansion itself had more of a Western feel than most. Not that I've been in many mansions anyway.

Another servant gently placed my breakfast before me and gave me a small smile before walking off. _At least she likes her job_, I thought.

When I was done servants immediately took everything away. Katsu came in then holding what looked like a stack of kimonos. "I didn't know which one you'd want so I brought all of them," He replied.

I laughed. "You're starting to sound like the servants around here. What's up with all of them anyway? It's not like this is _my_ mansion," I said.

"Captain ordered everyone to serve you. You're a guest here, I guess," Katsu replied.

"Aren't you?" I wondered, looking through the kimonos with one hand while my other one kept me balanced on the crutches.

"Actually, Captain Sagara doesn't even know I'm here," Katsu replied bashfully. I raised an eyebrow at him. "He told Sano and I to stay in the unit with the rest, but we asked Koriin if she could somehow get us to see you. She took us here personally just yesterday. Both her and the Captain have been gone since then though, so I'm not sure if he knows."

I just chuckled. "If they aren't here, then where's Sano?" I asked.

Just as Katsu was going to shrug, a yell could be heard from another room in the kitchen and Sano ran out of the double doors, a seemingly angry cook hot on his trail. "Thief!" The cook was yelling, chasing Sano about as he stuffed his face with what looked like dumplings.

Katsu and I couldn't stop laughing, but when things looked like they were really going to get out of control I stepped in and calmly told the cook Sano was welcome here.

"Oh?" The cook lowered a pan he was menacingly pointing at Sano with and nodded at me. "As you say, Lady Nikoru." With that he went back through the double doors as if nothing had happened.

"Thanks," Sano replied, his mouth full. "The cooks here are just so uptight."

"You can't just stroll in their kitchens and steal their food, Sano," I pointed out rolling my eyes.

He shrugged and continued chewing.

I went back to the kimonos and found one my size and taste. It was a silk red with black designs imprinted on it. It wasn't that long yet not too short either, and I briefly put it up against me. "How about this?" I asked Katsu and Sano. They shrugged and muttered something. "Men," I rolled my eyes and went back out in the hallway to find a servant. "I'm going to find a room and change," I told them. "Don't wait up."

Instead of a servant I came face to face with a flustered looking Koriin. "Hey!" I called out and she looked up in surprise.

"Nikoru!" She cried and gave me a quick hug. She smiled at me but noticed my condition. "Your leg seems better, but you need to change lady," Koriin told me.

I held the kimono up to her face. "My point exactly," I told her. She grinned and lead me down a hall way.

"How did you get down the stairs?" Koriin wondered.

"Brutally. It took some time but I made it," I told her. Then I looked at her distressed. "I won't have to go back up will I?"

Koriin laughed. "If it really pains you we can move your room downstairs. Sozo just wanted you to have one on top because those are the best. He also wanted you to be in peace from all the servants down here," She explained.

"How long was I out anyway?" I wondered as Koriin stopped, and I maneuvered the crutches so I could turn to the room she was opening.

"About a week," Koriin grimaced. "It was stress city while you were here. I can't wait to tell my brother you're finally up and walking, he'll feel much better."

I winced. A week was a lot. "Did he say anything about contacting my mother?" I asked Koriin as we went inside the room. It looked like all the other rooms except this one had a vanity table stock full of make up and paints; brushes and accessories; etc.

"He said he wanted to wait until you were better," Koriin replied. She sat me down on a stool and looked over my kimono. "This one's pretty. Let's get what you have on now off," She stood me up and began taking the clothes off me.

"It's weird. I still feel as if the battle was just yesterday; I guess because I slept through most of the surgery on my leg. Katsu says the doctor wants me in bed for a month," I told Koriin.

She shook her head. "He just doesn't want you to strain the leg too much, so after this it probably would be best if you rested. As you can see you're well enough to walk on crutches but it's still not the best," Koriin explained. "But let me tell you again; it's looking much better. It's a good thing you didn't see it throughout the first couple of days."

I nodded, trying not to think about it. The pain that I felt when I was out there in battle could still be remembered, yet faintly. Even when I walked on crutches it hurt a little, but for the most part my leg was numb.

Koriin threw on a cloth over me. "Go to the bath, it's just in that room. I'll get it ready for you," Koriin ordered and made her way over to it before me. I limped over and waited for her to prepare it.

"Thanks Koriin," I smiled at her.

"No problem," She gave me a bright smile back, and helped me into the tub. I let out a sigh of relief and sunk in to my chin.

"Does your leg sting from the water?" Koriin wondered worriedly.

"Not really. I'm fine," I replied. I closed my eyes to relax and felt Koriin's hands take up my long hair and twist it onto a towel.

"I'll be right back. If anything happens...scream or something," She said shrugging and I laughed.

"Will do," I replied. I spent about twenty minutes just soaking there, almost falling asleep. It was such a relief to experience a real bath again, after all that time in the army. Koriin came back and dried me off. After I was dressed in the kimono I picked out, Koriin and I sat on the bed while she brushed out my hair.

"So, where is the Captain?" I wondered, looking over my leg while I felt the tugs of my hair being brushed.

"Went back for awhile. He's going to come back soon however; the governor is hosting a dinner party he simply can't miss," Koriin went on to explain.

"Ooh," I simply replied, interested.

Koriin laughed. "I'll bet anything he'll invite you to come. But with that leg of yours, it might not be such a good idea..."

I frowned. "It doesn't hurt anymore, and I'm sure by the time he comes back I'll be able to walk free of crutches. What do you think?"

"It doesn't hurt because we healed it just in time. I agree it's getting better though. We'll have to wait and see," Koriin replied. She began braiding my hair into one long braid.

As I looked around the room once more, this time I actually _saw_ it. And I noticed little things like pictures of Koriin's nieces and nephews. Even from where I sat I could tell they were once very happy and loved.

"Being in this house...," I started, turning to Koriin. She turned to me puzzled. "It reminds you of better times, doesn't it?" I asked her.

"By better times I hope you mean my late sister and law and her children. Yes, I miss them...a lot. And I know Sozo does too. But things are far from better now," She explained softly.

"How come?" I wondered. She shook her head, eyes glinting from unreleased tears. She also told me that I shouldn't mind troubles that weren't of my business. I thought I had every right to know. But I didn't ask anymore questions.

♡♡

A few weeks later Captain Sagara arrived. I was in my room sleeping, having been very sleepy often from medicine. I suddenly woke up and he was there, sitting by my bedside.

"Captain!" I exclaimed, sitting up instantly.

He laughed. "I don't see any captain here," He replied, looking around, turning back and smirking at me. "Just me."

I turned red and laughed nervously. I could tell he has been wanting me to call him by his first name for awhile now, ever since he brought it up. I'm afraid referring to him as captain was a habit I will have to work hard to break.

"When did you get back?" I asked, settling down on my pillows.

"Last night," He replied, tugging on the bed spread distractedly.

"Sano and Katsu are here. I hope you aren't mad, but they wanted to stay with me," I told him, changing subjects. I guess I didn't have time to stay on one topic; there was so much I wanted to talk to him about.

He chuckled. "I've noticed. It's alright though, even though I do miss having them out there. And you," Captain Sagara smiled gently.

"It's been such a bore here," I agreed, laughing. "How dare you tell your servants sword fighting isn't allowed in here?"

Captain Sagara laughed pleasantly. "I'm sorry. I'll have to speak to them about that, now wouldn't I?"

"Oh, but you must," I insisted. "You don't know how a thing like that is causing a girl like me to suffer!"

"Is your leg getting better?" Captain Sagara then asked worriedly, turning serious. I put on a thoughtful expression.

"I hope so."

"Alright. Well, I should let you rest. I had to go through a lot to just come up here," He chuckled.

"Your servants are too uptight," I agreed shaking my head jokingly. He nodded, waving goodbye and shutting the door. I sighed, swiping my side bangs aside and rubbing my nose in thought. I reached for my red ribbon, the one I used to distinguish myself as a Sekihotai member, and inspected it thoughtfully as well. I tied it around my head, merely for old time's sake. Even though I was wounded and in bed, I was still a cadet, through and through. I needed to find someone who'd tell me what's been going on in the outside world, but I don't know where Katsu or Sano have been running around lately.

I made myself sit up, and reach for my crutches. Even though the Captain left me to get rest, I was fully awake now and had enough energy.

I descended the stairs all by myself (I've been getting better, and faster at it, since the servants were too lazy to move me in a downstairs room). When I was on the last step, I took a little breath to regain composure and started on my way to the kitchen, where at least I'd know where to find Sano.

Both he and Katsu were sitting at the table, having lunch. Sano was eating double his size and Katsu patiently took a bite out of a dumpling while he painted something on a piece of paper.

"Hello," I greeted, gratefully taking a seat with them.

Katsu noticed me and stood up hastily. "Nikoru! How did you get down the stairs by yourself? You should have asked for my help!" Katsu worried shrilly.

I laughed. "Calm down, I've been able to go down by myself for quite awhile now. How else would I sneak in to the kitchen for midnight snacks?" I prompted, giving Katsu a grin. He shrugged, taking his seat again but not finishing his painting. He watched me and apparently waited until I needed something from him.

"You're wearing your headband. Think you're going to go back anytime soon?" Sano sneered, noticing what I had around my head.

I laughed sarcastically. "No, stupid. I just put it on because I felt like it. Besides, it's been bothering me for some time now. How is the Sekihotai doing?" I wondered.

Katsu fiddled with his paintbrush. "Same old stuff. I think they're going to start traveling back again, like how when we first started, or perhaps just take a break and go through cities instead. But you know what I mean, same old," He explained.

"Ever find out why we suddenly got in battles with others, and why we were being attacked?" I growled impatiently. That thought always made me grumpy.

Katsu merely shook his head, looking at me calmly. "Well, if the Captain did find out, he sure didn't tell us."

Sano spat something out that was hard to understand due to all the food in his mouth. I just looked at him weird then returned to Katsu. "Oh well. I'm sure it won't happen again," I assured them.

Suddenly Koriin burst in, looking completely flustered. "Nikoru!" She cried.

I jumped in alarm and turned to her. "What?" I cried out.

She laughed, helping me up and giving me my crutches. "Hurry, get dressed," She ordered, ushering me out of the room.

I gave Katsu and Sano a confused glance and looked up at Koriin. "Whatever for?" I wondered scared.

"We're going shopping!"

♡♡

The store clerk removed the pins from her mouth and looked me up and down sternly. "It'll do," She finally said, backing away and bowing to me.

"I love it," Koriin confirmed, spinning me around.

"You sure? I'm not used to this kind of..._dress_," I replied, looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't say anything more, I had to wait so I can regain my breath. I could barely talk much less breathe. This dress was so tight on the ribs!

"You'll get used to the corset," Koriin told me, noticing my breathing trouble.

My dress was small on the upper body, but once below the waist it was large and spaced out. It was the oddest thing I've ever seen. The outer skirt was a light lavender with golden flowers imprinted on it, and golden frills running down the sides and on the hem. I say outer skirt because there was another one under that one, then _another _one under _that_ one. Then finally under those I wore loose pants that were tight on the waist. The top was also lavender of course, with golden frills as well on the slightly puffed out sleeves at the shoulders.

Suddenly the store clerk shoved a fan at me. It wasn't a normal Japanese fan; it was lavender clothed with gold frills on it, like my dress.

"You have to wear gloves too," Koriin exclaimed and nodded at the store clerk who hurried to find a pair that matched.

"Koriin, I can hardly breathe in this. And with my leg, how am I supposed to walk too?" I wondered.

"This is all the rage in England, France, even America. This is the governor's dinner party; you want to be fashionable, don't you?" Koriin replied, shoving a silk lavender glove up my arm.

"Yes, but...," I protested, inserting my fingers through the finger space. "The women in those countries must have learnt not to breathe."

"They sure have. And so will you."

"If it makes you feel any better Miss, you look stunning," The store clerk pointed out.

"We'll get your hair done," Koriin also told me, grinning as if this were my wedding or something.

I sighed, completely foreign to this. I didn't see Koriin having to wear this type of attire. "What about you?" I wondered, fanning myself due to the lack of oxygen coming through my lungs.

"I already have my dress, it was one my mother used to have. Don't worry, you won't be the odd one out. Trust me. All the most important people of Japan will be dressed formal like this, and when they finally meet you, they will see how important_ you_ are," Koriin told me.

"I'm really not that important," I pointed out bluntly.

Koriin grinned at me again. "When you're the Captain's date you are."

♡♡

It's been about a month since I've been taking residence in the Sagara mansion. My leg was healed, but was still a little stiff from being stretched on a cast for so long. The medicine also left it numb, and for a few hours I couldn't feel anything on my leg. It was actually kind of cool.

However I couldn't fondle over my leg, for a far more important worry was on everyone's head: The governor's dinner party.

I wasn't all that worried, not being used to going to such things, but I was more nervous about making a fool of myself. I was still a bit young and not being raised in the noblest of families I had no clue who anyone was, or how to act around them, or even what to talk to them about. Politics? Tea? War? Suffocating corsets?

I thought about telling Captain Sagara to tell everyone else I was a mute; silenced by the dreaded accident I got on my leg during battle. Therefore I didn't have to talk to anyone.

Much less the governor. Ugh.

But the good thing was I was ecstatic on the fact I would be leaving the house, after a whole month of being cooped up in there. Not only that but I was spending the whole night of it with the Captain.

Suddenly the nerves disappeared and I grinned like an idiot to myself.

I forgot about the pesky important people of society, the suffocating Western dress, and my leg. I brought back Captain Sagara's gentle, handsome face to my mind and felt at ease. He'd keep me safe.

I waited for Koriin downstairs in the grand hall, already sweating in my dress. Why did I have to put it on so soon? But soon I saw her just as dressed up as me making her way over.

"You look so wonderful! Wait until we do your hair and make up," She said happily, not even stopping but already grabbing my arm and summoning servants. I let her take me without a word, except for a sigh here and there.

They worked on both my hair _and_ make up since we were running kind of late. I sat there like a doll while they pushed and pulled at my hair, and turned my face all types of different directions so they could work their art.

I swear it took forever.

Finally it was over with and I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was like seeing a completely different person. I was looking at a girl who went to these sort of parties all the time, knew everyone in the noble business, and has slept with quite a bit of them too. A girl whose beauty surpassed everyone else's and it showed...a lot.

A month ago I was wearing training clothes that much resembled what peasant men wore on a daily basis; my face had been dirty from training, fighting, and well, not being washed. My hair was often tied up on a clumsy ponytail, and often tangled.

I felt if I moved a muscle everything would fall apart. I hadn't even realized I wasn't breathing. "Can I talk or something, or will it all disappear?" I wondered finally.

Koriin and the lady servants giggled pleasantly and shook their heads. "You look _beautiful_. I haven't even seen a _geisha _so wondrous as you," Koriin complimented.

"If you're comparing me to a geisha something is bound to happen at that party," I said nervously.

The servants laughed again and took their leave. Koriin turned to me again. "Don't be silly; no one's going to touch you. They wouldn't dare." She lifted up my chin and inspected my make up before turning to leave on her heels. The skirt of her dress bobbed as she walked. "Now let's get going. My brother is waiting at the governor's house already."

"What about you, darling Koriin?" I cooed, blocking my smirk with my fan. "Surely you have a date."

"I was going to take Sano, but they might have thought he was too young," Koriin joked as we made our way outside. It was snowing a little and I wished I had brought a coat. Koriin picked up her skirts professionally and I followed her in the same fashion to the horse drawn carriage awaiting us by the front gates.

"Sano? Please. He'd eat all the caviar in under ten minutes," I pointed out sarcastically.

"He's going to grow up to be very handsome, I think," Koriin replied with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"By the way _he_ eats, he'll end up as fat as a walrus," I said.

The horseman struck his whip and the horses moved forward. I looked out the small carriage window at the passing houses and sighed to settle my nerves. When we arrived, the horseman opened the door gently to lead us out. I followed Koriin as I didn't know where to go or even who to talk too. Maybe I should get out more often.

I spotted Captain Sagara–or should I say Sozo–waiting by the door to the governor's superb mansion.

He definitely wasn't Captain Sagara tonight. He had on a handsome black suit, like most of the men around. He didn't carry a cane though, or a hat. I wouldn't want him to anyway; he'd look too old that way.

I didn't want to look excited, so I cooly looked around the cherry blossom covered courtyard. Courtyard lamps shone dully and reflected off the various ponds and fountains. What a gorgeous house! Not being able to resist any longer, I looked back at him. He was grinning as we came closer.

"Sozo, _darling_," Koriin greeted in a mock imitation of the English. She kissed him once on each cheek and took a peek inside the door. I heard lots of music and chatter inside. I gulped nervously.

After giving a slight chuckle at his sister and giving her a kiss back, Sozo looked to me."Nikoru," He took my hand and kissed it gently, finally looking up at me. "You look...stunning. Elegant. Beautiful-,"

"Got enough compliments there, lover boy?" Koriin interrupted. "We all know she looks good. Heck, she doesn't even look nineteen." Koriin grinned at me in a way which made me wonder if that was a good thing.

I was too embarrassed to say anything intelligent. "Oh," I blushed, looking down at my dress skirt, unable to see my feet. "Thank you."

"You _don't _look nineteen. Not at all," Sozo smiled at me and I melted. "But age doesn't matter in the least. We should go in soon," He added.

"Uh huh," I said faintly, and he hooked my arm with his. I was glad I already had artificial blush on me, because I swear I probably turned as red as a tomato.

Elegant chandeliers glittered magnificently atop the expensive ceiling; that's what I first noticed. When I looked forward I noticed all the fashionably dressed people, drinking, chatting, and having little bites of appetizers. Koriin was taken aside by a young gentleman I didn't recognize, and so Sozo and I left her alone.

We walked forward. I noticed more and more people stared a us; namely, _me_. I felt so horribly embarrassed. Terrible thoughts were probably whirling through their minds. Everyone knew Sozo's wife and kids died recently...and he already had another woman on his arm? Not that death wasn't a common thing these days. But still.

Noticing my worry, Sozo picked up my hands and turned me so that I faced him. "Don't be nervous. Koriin told me this was your first noble dinner party, and I want you to enjoy it," He said smiling wondrously.

Damn. Didn't he realize the more he smiled like that the more I didn't pay attention to what he said? What if he said something important and I missed it?

I just nodded, pulling one hand away from his to hide my face behind a fan. I didn't want him to notice how much I was blushing like a love sick little girl. He straightened up when he looked forward and I turned too. Important people were making their way over to converse with us. I started to fan myself desperately.

"If it isn't Captain Sagara," A man said and shook hands with Sozo.

"Hello there Saigo," Sozo replied with a small smile. This Saigo then turned to me and gave a small bow, along with the woman next to him whom I guessed was his wife.

"Nikoru this is Saigo Takamori and his lovely wife," Sozo introduced.

"How do you do?" I said politely with a small curtsy. My leg hurt after I curtsied, so I made a mental note not to do it anymore.

"Lovely woman you have with you here, Sozo. Nikoru is it? My pleasure," Saigo took my hand and kissed it. I kind of appreciated the fact I had a glove on now.

Sozo and Saigo talked for a bit, then Saigo and his wife left. Sozo wiped his forehead impatiently. "Your lucky you weren't raised in the noble life," He said shaking his head. "I've had to put up with this fancy party stuff for as long as I could remember."

I laughed. Only Sozo indeed could make me laugh in a situation like this. Before we took even a step farther, more guests greeted us. We went through at least thirty before making our way to the other side of the room for drinks.

While sipping on my drink, another man came to greet Sozo. He had a white beard and no woman with him. I eyed him suspiciously, something about him was kind of bad.

"Sozo," He greeted, modestly shaking hands with Sozo whom was beside me. I faced the other way so the man wouldn't see me. I listened in to their conversation.

"Tatawaki Shindo. If it isn't you," Sozo replied. They conversed for a little while, and the man left.

"Who was that?" I whispered to Sozo awhile later. Sozo took a sip of his drink then placed it on a table.

"Staff officer of the government. I don't like him very much," Sozo replied.

"Neither do I." I fanned myself distractedly again, looking upon everyone in the room. Sozo quietly chuckled and out of the blue took the fan from my hands.

"Why do women fan themselves so much with these things anyway?" He wondered, playing with it. I resisted the urge to laugh and composed myself.

"If I showed you now, I might get kicked out," I told him mischievously.

"Oh," Sozo looked partly confused but understood. He handed the fan back and I giggled. Wouldn't it be funny if men had to wear corsets? They should feel the torture of it too. "I think the party life has gotten to you, Nikoru," Sozo added rocking back and forth on his heels slightly. "Your thoughts must be cleaned."

I laughed again. "Maybe so. Perhaps we should distance ourselves from the drinks table as far as we can manage without leaving the house," I said, taking his hand.

"Good idea," He agreed rolling his eyes jokingly. However, a lot of the crowd started moving sideways into another room. I looked over confused, and instead of leading Sozo he began leading me. "They're heading towards the ballroom. Let's go," He explained, guiding me through the crowd.

I gasped in amazement. The governor's ball room was magnificent, and the soon widening group of couples dancing only made it more magical. I was still in a daze, and hadn't noticed I was taken to the middle of the ballroom.

"You do know how to dance, don't you?" Sozo's voice broke my trance.

I looked up at him all of a sudden. He held one of my hands, and his other hand lay secure around my waist. I gently placed my vacant hand upon his shoulder, nodding. "Pretty much," I replied, trying to remember certain steps all the same time, causing myself a mild headache.

We began to move to the music and Sozo's eyes never left mine. "Much different than the Sekihotai isn't it?" He chuckled.

I smiled. "_So_ much different."

♡♡

When we got tired of dancing, I suggested we take a walk outside in the courtyard. I really wanted to see it again.

"Whatever you wish," Sozo replied, leading me out of the bustling ball room. Almost nobody now was in the main hall. He lead me with his arm; my hands hugging it, and my head poised delicately upon his shoulder. A glimpse at the clock and I alarmingly noted how late it had gotten. However I could have stayed awake forever.

We stepped out and there was still a light snow falling. Upon my shiver, Sozo pulled me closer, wrapping his comforting arm around my waist. I could have died right there.

We weren't alone. In an incredibly good mood, I pleasantly watched other couples walk around, noting the governor's exquisite (and probably expensive) courtyard. Sozo and I hovered above a pond for awhile, then went on to note the fountains.

"I have to add these to my own mansion," Sozo noted, inspecting the expensive marble. I chuckled.

"That would nice," I agreed.

He smiled at me, coming closer to take my hand. I liked holding hands with him. We took a seat at a marble stone bench near the fountain, and Sozo began fiddling with my hair. "Koriin interrupted me that one time," He started, looking me in the eyes. I looked back, smiling. "But I had a lot more compliments to tell you," He continued.

I chuckled lightly. "Well, let's see what you got," I challenged him, my face so close to his I could have kissed him. But I waited to hear my compliments.

Sozo smiled along with me. "For one, you're beautiful," He started, his eyes traveling downward and focusing on my mouth. I closed my eyes. "Lovely, gorgeous, graceful..." He went on to kiss me tenderly on one cheek. "Marvelous, charming, dazzling..." He kissed my other one. With a soft kiss upon my neck was "Alluring, fascinating..."

I gave a quiet giggle, wrapping my hands around his neck. "Have I already said beautiful?" Sozo questioned, opening his eyes the same time I did mine.

"Yes," I replied. "But it's always nice to hear it again."

"You're beautiful," He told me, then rested his head on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I was still smiling, but then I frowned as he said, "Which is why I can't do this."

I gave him a puzzled look as he retreated a little. "What are you talking about?" I wondered softly.

I searched his face but he continued looking downward.

"I've only just lost my wife. I don't feel right doing this. I came to you because I admired you a lot, and I hoped to heal my wounds. I've never told anyone this, but...," Sozo hesitated, then finally looked me in the eyes. "Our marriage was planned by our parents. Except for an occasional party, I had no idea who she was exactly, and barely remembered how she looked like before our wedding. This wasn't rare; a planned marriage between two noble families happens all the time. But I didn't _love _her. It was different, than...than this...," Sozo took my hands in his.

"Didn't you explain to your parents the way you felt?" I wondered.

"I tried. But it was no use. However I grew to love her, but it was still pretty much forced. I didn't _fall_ in love with her," Sozo shook his head. "And now she's gone. I felt so terrible, but I figured the one thing I could do was move on. I needed help managing my army and life. You were there, and even though you couldn't tell, you helped. A lot. You, Sano, Katsu, and Koriin mean so much to me, I can hardly describe it. I would have never been here if it weren't for you," He explained.

I smiled at him gently, to let him know it was alright. "I promise to help you even more," I told him.

"You did the right thing in moving on. And I'll be here with you as you do it." It was my turn to give him a peck on the cheek.

Sozo smiled at me, and affectionately hugged me again. I embraced him too, closing my eyes and smiling. However, suddenly it got hard to breathe, and I cursed this damn corset once again. I tried to retreat to I could catch my breath, but then Sozo surprised me.

"So. Will you help me in...marrying me?" He asked, pushing a part and looking me straight in the eyes with the most wonderful smile I've ever seen. The shock overwhelmed me and my heart couldn't take the excitement. Apparently neither could my lungs. I did what every silly love struck girl did.

I fainted.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

♡♡

I walked along the familiar streets of my home town, taking in all the same sights and smells. I appreciated the fact that I was alone (even though it took quite a lot to get here alone; Katsu insisted he come with me, but when I meant no servants or companions, I meant him too).

I walked by a fence, and my eye caught something tied around the last post; a red ribbon. I chuckled with delight, stopping by briefly and running my fingers along the thread I had tied there for what seemed _ages_ ago. I liked that nobody removed it and left it alone. I took this as a good sign, that perhaps I am welcome back home. If at least for a visit.

I walked up to the door of my house and knocked, awaiting someone to answer. After awhile, a familiar face pushed back the screen, and her bright dark eyes lit up with surprise. "Lady Nikoru!" Mei cried out in a squeak of surprise.

"Mei!" I replied happily. Mei quickly bowed to me, but I think I deserved much more then that; I pulled the girl towards me into a warm hug.

Mei giggled and pulled apart, yet she held my shoulders at her arm's length. "Look at you! You look so much more...different, then when you left. You look stronger, wiser." Mei smiled gently at me.

"I feel stronger. I'm not sure I'm wiser, but...," I agreed with a laugh, and took to stepping in my house. Mei closed the door and hurriedly rushed to the hall closet for sitting mats.

"I'll make some tea!" She called out, then running into the kitchen.

I chuckled, unrolling my mat myself and taking a seat cross legged. I beamed at the familiar room; I inspected the various swords tacked to the walls and other such accessories I never really noticed before. The scene of my shoes lined up with everyone else's outside the room felt familiar but looked unusually strange. It felt strange alone, being here after all this time.

Then my mother came in the room. She looked much older, but that was probably because she looked ten times more tired than usual. I didn't mind this and gave her a smile. She smiled back. "Nikoru." With a little struggle, she managed to take a seat in front of me on her knees.

"Mother, how are you?" I asked worriedly as Mei brought in our tea.

"I'm just fine dear. But you're the one who has been gone for months on end; tell me of your adventures!" Mother beamed as she took a sip of her tea.

I laughed and shrugged a shoulder. "Not much to tell. But I do have some big news..." A shiver went up my spine from the delight.

"Do tell," My mother carefully poured some more tea in my cup, a pleasant smile on her face.

"Well, I don't really know how to say this, but...," I set my tea cup down and smiled mischievously at her. "Mother, I'm getting married!"

Mother's face broke into a wondrous, surprised smile. "Oh really? And to whom?" She wondered in the same quiet, pleasant tone she's been using the whole time. Wasn't she more excited?

"It's quite a long story how it happened, but...I'm getting married to the captain of the army I was serving under!" I declared with a laugh. Now that I think about it, I do wonder how it all suddenly came together. But it didn't matter; I was happy to be marrying Sozo. Over the time spent with him, I had truly fallen in love with him.

"Well, can you imagine that?" Mother smiled at me again and sipped some more of her tea. "I have to say I'm really happy you're doing so well. And I'm glad you took the time to come visit me," She said then waved Mei over, who had tears running down her face.

"Mei?" I questioned, alarmed.

"Lady Nikoru is to be wed!" Mei sniffled and I chuckled at the emotional girl.

"We should discuss wedding plans, shouldn't we Mei?" Mother tried to cheer her up. It worked, and Mei's tear stained face expressed a smile seconds later.

"Oh yes!" She said and I stood up.

"I wish to stay more, but...I should be getting back. You think Mei's excited, imagine all the other servants back at where I'm staying," I explained.

"Where are you staying, Dear?" Mother wondered, as Mei helped her stand up.

"Oh, just the family...house," I said, instead of 'mansion'.

"You'll have to give me the address some time so I can visit you as well," Mother smiled and brushed my side bangs to the side like she always used too. "Farewell, dear."

"Bye Mother, bye Mei!" I replied, and headed out the front door. When I reached the end of the street, a carriage awaited me. I sighed as I got in, and the foot man closed the door for me. I worried over the fact that Mother acted and looked extra ill; was her sickness perhaps getting worse? Would she even be well enough to attend my wedding? All those thoughts circulated my mind and wouldn't leave. As the great Sagara Mansion loomed ahead moments later, I almost wished I had stayed over at my old house, to keep my mother company. But everyone needed me here, so I couldn't possibly.

Was I even doing the right thing by pulling through with this?

♡♡

When I was escorted inside, Sano and Katsu immediately rushed at me with fake play swords, hitting each other and yelling.

"Guys, go play somewhere else. You can't do that in here," I scolded as they pushed past me to try and get to each other.

Katsu instantly lowered his toy sword. "Sorry Nikoru. The captain said it was ok," Katsu apologized.

"Yeah, we don't need to listen to you!" Sano snapped at me, and reached over to hit Katsu's sword. I sighed and with quick speed I took his sword from him. "Hey!" He whined.

"Play outside," I ordered, and then returned his toy back.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Koriin and the Captain are waiting for you in the dining hall," Katsu told me before running off.

"Yikes," I muttered, making my way over instantly. Wedding preparations wasn't really what I had in mind to do right now; I wasn't really in the mood. Even though, it was only this morning that I had woken up from bed to find Sozo and his sister by my bedside, watching over me worriedly. I had only remembered fainting the night before, but then my brain cleared, and _why_ I fainted came back.

I had leaped off my bed and thrown my arms around Sozo, just yelling out "Yes! Yes!" the whole time. A little afterwards I requested to visit my mother, and here I am now.

A servant girl bowed to me and opened the dining hall doors. "Uh, thanks," I mumbled, and walked in. Sozo and Koriin were seated at the dining table, papers strewn between them.

Koriin was holding up a pair of eye glasses to her face as she scowled down at a document. At the notice of my entrance, she immediately got up and ran over. "Nikoru!" She gave me a big hug and I laughed.

I looked around and eyed the papers. "So what are you guys up too?" I wondered.

Sozo had come beside me too and leaned down to plant a kiss on my cheek. I blushed and he said, "Just settling some documents. Did you enjoy the visit with your Mother?" He asked.

"Yes, very much. She was happy to see me," I explained. I didn't tell them she looked dangerously sick or anything. Everyone was already worried over the wedding enough as it was.

Sozo lead me over to the table, nodding. "That's good." We all took a seat and began talking about the wedding and other plans.

I couldn't stop worrying over my mother, and was only half listening to Koriin and Sozo talk. I traced circles on the table top with my finger, deep in thought.

"Something wrong, Nikoru?" Sozo broke my thought cycle and grabbed hold of my hand.

"No, don't mind me. I'm just...distracted," I replied lamely. _And all this planning and wedding talk is making me hungry_, I couldn't help thinking.

"I'm over planning this too," Koriin proclaimed, throwing down a pen to prove her point.

"Alright. Why don't I take the both of you out to eat?" Sozo suggested, clearly in a good mood, unlike me and Koriin.

"I don't feel like dressing up to go out," Koriin complained.

"Then don't dress up," Sozo protested.

"How do you expect me to dress, then?" Koriin quarreled with her brother.

"Listen you two, we'll go out, but we can go somewhere common," I suggested, to end their fight.

They looked at me and blinked. "Good idea," Sozo murmured scratching his chin.

"Genius, darling," Koriin smiled at me with a wink.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Really, what would you two do without me?" I bragged.

So out we went, just the three of us, wearing nothing too grand or fashion style, but good enough for a simple evening out. We went to the nearest beef pot restaurant in town, where it was quite

lively. My mood warmed a little, especially when the rounds of sake began coming in.

"To my hardworking and awesome big brother, and to my future wonderful sister in law," Koriin toasted before we began our first round.

I laughed and Sozo cleared his throat. "To Koriin's wonderful toasts," He began and we laughed, "and also to my future beautiful wife. And let's all hope the wedding goes as planned, and the Sekihotai gets some luck in the near future."

As we drank up I looked over at Sozo confused. "What's going on?" I asked.

Koriin shook her head. "We're just going through some bumpy roads right now," She explained vaguely.

"Don't worry about it," Sozo added, eyes lowered to the table top.

"No worries here," I replied jokingly, as my second cup rushed down my throat. Koriin and Sozo chuckled modestly, but suddenly the mood wasn't like it was before. That nagging feeling that somebody wasn't telling me something bothered me again but I knew it was pointless to ask.

After we were done there, we started walking back to the mansion. I hung onto Sozo's arm, as Koriin and I chatted excitedly about anything really, seeing as how we were a little drunk.

Suddenly yells could be heard as to what seemed like a rant going on down the street. "What's going on?" Koriin wondered, her eyes narrowing.

"I'm not sure we should check it out," Sozo replied carefully. "It could be dangerous."

"We'll be careful," I assured him. I grabbed Koriin's arm and we walked over quickly behind some shopping stands, where the rant was taking place only feet away.

People were yelling about rice. The shop keepers were trying to calm everyone down and get them to step off from the rice stands.

"How awful," I noted, hugging myself as a chill went through me. Somehow this sight didn't make me feel all too comfortable at all.

"Let's go," Koriin suggested, and tugged on my arm. We walked back to Sozo, who had his eyes narrowed and an unpleasant smile on his face.

"What was going on back there?" He asked me as we walked around a street corner, out of range from the rant and the busy shopping street all together.

"There was a small mob of people ranting about rice," I told him and he put his arm around me.

"Don't worry about it," He repeated for the second time that night.

♡♡

"Don't worry about it," Koriin was telling me. "You look wonderful!"

I was breathing in an out, trying to relax. "I can't stop worrying!" I snapped in frustration. Koriin helped me up so I wouldn't wrinkle my beautiful wedding kimono.

"You're just nervous. C'mon, put on a smile. It's your wedding day!" Koriin smiled at me and pulled me into a comforting hug.

I tried not to let the tears in my eyes fall. It'd ruin my make up. "It's just that it's hard to believe I'm here...doing this. Months ago I was...," I couldn't even finish.

"Fighting with the big boys?" Koriin suggested, laughing. "It's good that you're doing this, Nikoru. It's what Sozo needed, after all that's happened. And it's better for you too; no one should be out fighting now. It's gotten worse, and much more dangerous," Koriin explained.

"But settling down wasn't what I had in mind at all," I sniffed. "I wanted to help out there. I wanted to be a part of it."

"You _are _a part of it, sweetie. You'll always be a part of the Sekihotai, and everything else." Koriin took something from out of her sleeve. It was my red headband. "Here, put it in your kimono," She said, handing it to me.

I took it and held it in my hands. This single piece of cloth has gone through almost everything I have. It's always been with me. I tucked in to my kimono and breathed out again.

Moments later, I was standing beside Sozo, and I was facing the Shinto priest. Seconds ago, I had taken note of my mother taking part of the witnesses to the wedding. Mei was next to her, smiling with my mother. I should have been happy to see them; but my heart only wrenched in pain. My mother looked twice as bad as she did when I visited her. I shouldn't have asked her to come, even if it _was _my wedding.

I was so distracted I didn't notice the priest hand something to me. I blinked, took note of the sake cup, and drank from it quickly. I handed it back and caught Sozo eyeing me. "You ok?" He mouthed to me.

I nodded and faced forward again. I wished the ceremony would go by a little faster. After Sozo read aloud his words of commitment, the symbolic offerings were given to the_ kami_, we were done.

I was escorted to a room so that I could change again. After that, Sozo and I met up so we could enter the reception party together. He took my hand and looked me in the eyes. "You seem really stressed. Won't you tell me what's the matter?" He asked.

I sighed, and wondered why I haven't told him before. This was Sozo after all; the love of my life, my new husband, the one man I trusted out there while I was in the army. I was just worrying him by acting like this. "It's just that...my mother...," I trailed off and my chin trembled.

"Is something wrong with her?" Sozo wondered gently.

"Can't you tell?" I practically shouted. "She's sick Sozo, she's _really _sick."

"I didn't get a good glace at her," Sozo replied calmly. "But obviously you're worried. What do you want to do about it?"

"I don't know," I whined. "I just don't want her here. She should be in bed, or at the doctor's." I sighed again and caught some of the servants giving me quizzical glances. "I'm sorry. It's our wedding day. I should be happy," I apologized.

"It's alright. I understand why you're worried," Sozo insisted, and called a servant over. He told him to fetch my mother right away.

Meanwhile, Sozo and I entered the party and I had long since plastered a smile on my face so everyone couldn't tell I was troubled inside. It wasn't only my mother that I was worried about.

I ate little and conversed with my guests the best I could. I couldn't much hold a conversation with me being distracted and all, but gratefully many of the people I talked too understood. They just thought I had wedding jitters. I caught Sozo talking with some men a few feet away from me, and excused myself to go talk to him.

"Speaking of her, here she is!" A man announced as I came to them.

"How do you do?" I acknowledged them with a curtsy.

"Splendid, Lady Nikoru," The same man replied. The others nodded modestly. Sozo smiled and looked over at me.

I leaned in to him. "What of my mother? Anything?" I whispered behind a fan.

Sozo set his drink down. "I had them tell her you wanted her resting in bed. She's been put in one of the guest rooms. Is that alright?" Sozo asked worriedly.

I nodded, grateful. "Yes, that's fine," I replied with a sigh.

Sozo placed a hand on my shoulder. "You can relax now. Have a good time at your own party, right?" He suggested and broke in to that charming smile I've loved ever since I first laid eyes on him.

"Yeah. Of course," I couldn't help smiling back. I picked up a champagne flute passing by on a tray.

"...Yes, I saw one the other day. Horrible sight, really. The peasants are just pouring into town making trouble," I caught a bit of conversation.

"Last one I went too the police had trouble settling everything down. The nerve of some people. Can't they see we're in a war? How can we possibly pay attention to their little wishes?"

I turned around to the group of three people talking. "What exactly are they asking for? The peasants, I mean?" I asked sheepishly. The household I was taking up residence at wasn't good at telling me news of the outside world.

"Why, they're whining about the tax reformation again," The one woman in the group explained.

"Shouldn't they have learned by now the government can't keep all its promises?"

My stomach churned. "But...isn't that what the government was...going to do?" I wondered, shifting my eyes between the guests.

They chuckled pleasantly. "Sweetheart, we need the rice to pay annual tribute to the war funds. The taxes_ must _be high, or else that'd be impossible," The man next to the woman told me.

"But that was what the Revolution was supposed to be about," I protested. "Making those people's dreams a reality. The peasants were told the tax reformation would take place. Of course they had their hopes up," I said, reflecting the many villages I went too, the many people I've talked too, as the Sekihotai traveled mainly for that matter.

"Things change," The woman shrugged, sipping on her drink. I shook my head at those people and made my way elsewhere. I just kept pouring drinks down my throat so I would relax, but it wasn't helping. The room started to spin and the noise level got higher to the point I got a head ache.

"Nikoru, I haven't seen you all night!" Koriin appeared before me. "Something wrong? You look out of it."

"I'm fine. No, wait, I'm not fine. Where's Sozo?" I asked, fanning myself desperately.

"I don't know. Do you need to lie down or something?" Koriin asked me.

"Take me to my mother," I told her and she nodded. I walked with her to the room my mother was being kept at. Once we opened the door, we caught Mei crying her heart out.

"Mei?" I questioned. Koriin closed the door behind us, and I walked forward. My eyes went to my mother on the bed, the sheets laying over her neatly, her face not as peaceful.

"It's your mother," Mei sniffled. I noticed a doctor standing at her bedside.

"I'm afraid she's wearing...away," The doctor spoke up when my eyes landed on him. I flung myself at her bedside, brushing her hair from her face, tears welling in my eyes.

"I knew she shouldn't of have come. She should have rested at home," I whispered. I closed my eyes and knelt my head against the bed.

"Oh my," I heard Koriin murmur. I realized Koriin had no idea what was going on. "She was very sick. This party was too much for her; she was as sick as she ever was when I visited her that one time," I explained. "Now she's...She's..."

Mei sniffled and I saw her tears splatter the carpet. Koriin knelt by me; her eyes closed as she was in prayer. I didn't pray. There was nothing I could do. None of us even noticed the doctor leave. The wedding party was gone; for me, it was over.

♡♡

The following week wasn't better in the least. After the death of my mother, I stayed a few days at my old house, going through her things and helping Mei sell what we could. Even though the act depressed me so, it had to be done.

I went back to the Sagara mansion. I stayed there for as long as I could remember, never leaving the house. Through the days following my mother's passing, I wore the same kimono I wore when my father died. But then I stopped mourning, seeing as how I needed to readjust myself to my new married life.

It consisted of me idling about the house, constantly worried over where Sozo was. He had to leave home a lot; things out there in the outside world were getting tougher and worse. I didn't want to know how much worse; I didn't want to know at all. My world was in the safety of my new house.

Sano and Katsu stayed by my side. They were my constant companions, and they didn't leave the house much either. Both of them didn't want to go back to the Sekihotai. They'd surely get killed.

One night, we were seated in front of the fire place, playing cards. Koriin was there too; she sometimes stayed over at the house. With the wars getting worse however, she wanted to help the best she could, and used her medical skills out there often.

We were chatting idly when suddenly we heard yells outside. "What was that?" I asked, immediately getting up. The others stood up as well, and servants began running down the halls toward the front of the house.

Gunshots, yells, pounding noises. I shivered and wondered what on earth was going on. "It sounds so close. They must be right outside the house!" Koriin cried.

_Whose they?_ I wondered in fear. Katsu held on to me and began to cry. "I'm scared, Nikoru," He sniffled. Even Sano looked shaky.

"Lady Nikoru! Lady Nikoru!" A servant was running towards us. We were still rooted to the spot, where were just moments ago playing cards. We all looked at him in panic. "Outside the house! Outside the house! There's a mob!" He cried.

"A mob?" I repeated in disbelief. "What do they want?" I pried Katsu's arm away from me and walked forward shakily, following the servant. Koriin followed close behind me.

As we walked forward, the yelling only got louder. Servants were parked right outside the door, listening and waiting in fear. "Where are the guards?" I demanded.

"Outside. They're controlling the mob the best they can," A servant told me nervously. I pulled aside the curtains, peering out the window next to the door. I saw angry faces, torches, and guns being fired. Crashes could be heard as the flying bullets occasionally hit somewhere in the house.

"Nikoru, we need to hide. We could get hurt!" Koriin pleaded.

"I want to know what they want," I insisted, thrusting the curtain back to its place.

"They want the Captain!" A servant cried out shrilly.

My stomach sank. "If they want him, then they have no right being here," I replied. "He's not even home."

"He's in trouble!" Sano cried worriedly. Katsu trembled beside me. Koriin looked up at me with scared eyes. I had enough of this; I had to get my friends out of here.

"C'mon you two, let's go upstairs," I grabbed Sano and Katsu's hands and began leading them upstairs. "Koriin, would you please inform me if anything happens? I'll be with these two upstairs," I told her. She nodded and I continued my way up.

Katsu and Sano ran the rest of the way up and into the nearest room. I walked in after them, closed the door, and hurriedly went over to the windows to lock them and shut the curtains closed. When I turned around Katsu and Sano were huddled against the bed, trembling.

"Don't be scared you guys," I told them gently. "It'll be ok. This will all be over in the morning."

I surprised myself in being so calm, when inside I was just as scared as they were.

I sat with them against the bed, and Katsu put his arms around me. He shut his eyes tight and I could tell he was trying to tune the sounds out. Sano looked perplexed, but didn't seem as scared. "What are you thinking about, Sano?" I asked him, as I ran my fingers through Katsu's hair, trying to comfort him.

"I gotta go help the Captain," He murmured. "I know he needs help. He's in trouble."

Another crash could be heard. Katsu whimpered beside me and I put my arms around him. "No, he's not. He can fend for himself. Don't go worrying yourself about that," I told Sano. He just shook his head at me. "Don't...Don't worry about it," I told them, and mostly, to myself.

♡♡

Finally for awhile, Sozo was able to stay with us at the house. He was notified of the mob and only grew mad.

"It's not just the mobs either," He went on, pacing back in forth in our room, "There's rumors going around. It's totally ruining everything I've worked hard for. Everything is falling apart."

"What rumors?" I questioned, running a brush along my hair as I sat on our bed. I was happy Sozo was home, but it seemed the more we saw each other, the more bad news he had to tell me.

Sozo shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I called forth a meeting later this week. I have to get this all figured out."

I frowned, setting my brush down and slinking off the bed. Sozo had taken a seat at our desk, and was massaging his forehead. I walked over to him and took his hands in mine, frowning down at him. "It would help if you could tell me what's been going on," I told him.

"I don't want you to worry over things that _I _should be worrying about," He replied, taking my hands and kissing them softly.

I frowned even more. Would anyone ever tell me anything? Why of all people, Sozo was the most secretive? I sat on his lap, and lay my head against him. I thought about how not knowing much, was all due to the fact that I didn't want to know in the first place. I was keeping my own self safe. But is that what I wanted anymore? Now that things were deepening, _should _I know?

Sozo kissed me then carefully removed me from his lap, getting up. "I'll have to see to everything is getting done. I'll talk to you later?" He questioned, pausing at the door.

"Yeah, of course," I sighed, not watching him go. I began brushing my hair again, then I got dressed. When I went downstairs, Koriin was hugging Katsu in the main hall. "Koriin?" I wondered.

"Nikoru! Just in time." Koriin walked over to me and gave me a big hug. "I'm leaving to Aizu. They need lots of medical help there," She told me. I looked into her eyes.

"You're leaving?" I tried to register.

"Yes, but I'll try and come back as soon as I can. But I want you to do something for me," Koriin grasped my hand and looked deep into my eyes. "Please, try and protect my brother. Help him, and also try to bring good news to this place," Koriin gestured to the house. "You're known around here for bringing good news, right?"

I smiled faintly, but I couldn't promise anything. "Good luck," I told her. Koriin smiled back and with one last hug, left. Katsu went over to me and I placed my arm around him.

"Where's Sano?" I asked him.

"With the Captain. I hope Koriin comes back," Katsu murmured.

"Don't worry, she'll come back. She has to help, Katsu. Lots of people out there need her help," I explained to him. He nodded, and I couldn't help noticing that he's been really depressed lately. I didn't blame him; the whole household was slowly turning into a mad house. Myself included.

With news only bringing me bad things, with everyone depressed and stressed out, I couldn't help look forward to Sozo's meeting. I was going crazy with stress, like everyone else; I wanted Sozo to have everything figured out. I wanted the mobs to stop, the rants to stop, everything to just...stop. Couldn't the Revolution come just a little bit faster?

I lingered in the doorway, biting my thumbnail in anxiety. Sozo had arranged for his fellow co-captains to meet in his meeting room. I was pacing back and forth when out of nowhere Sano pushes past me. "Sano? What are you doing?" I hissed.

"I'm going with the Captain," He proclaimed proudly. Was this boy serious? This has got to be the most important meeting Sozo has had so far; having little boys around wouldn't help.

"Wait, don't you-," I started but Sano had walked in, positioned himself in the corner, and stayed there like a soldier at his post. I gave up and watched him. I couldn't stop him; he admired Sozo too much. Hopefully though he wouldn't mess things up.

The captains assembled themselves. I hid behind the doorway, so Sozo wouldn't know I was eavesdropping. This was the only way I could truly find out what was going on.

Suddenly, I heard gasping. I peered around to find a badly wounded cadet, sobbing at the end of the meeting table.

"All killed! All killed!!" He kept sobbing over and over.

"Calm down," Sozo spoke to him softly. "What exactly did the commanding general say?"

"He accused! He accused! He called us a fraud!" The wounded man called out. "The rumors had built up; practically the whole country thinks we're all frauds!"

"This is preposterous! We–the Sekihotai–a fraud?!" One of the captains bellowed in anger, fist pounding the table. My heart did a double flip, and my stomach sank, all at the same time. _What_? Those were the rumors?

"Orders...from the commanding general...to every unit of the regular army...to capture the 'false army' called Sekihotai," The man told. "My unit stationed at the Usui Cliff..." My mind raced; why did that name ring a bell? By this point I wasn't even breathing anymore. The attacks, the mobs, all of it...

"My unit stationed at the Usui Cliff was attacked by the army from Shinshu...and _slaughtered_!" The man completed.

I bit back a scream of pain. Usui Cliff; this man was clearly from the third unit. Where...Kane, and...her brother...

"But why...? We're patriots too!" Another man protested.

"It's not us! It's the tax reformation they don't want!" The third unit captain spat. "They promised they'd halve all taxes to bring farmers in each prefecture over to their side. But the Revolutionary Government is having financial problems, and can't stand by it. So they label the Sekihotai Army as frauds and punish us, so _they _can bury their promises!"

I tremble and try to fight off the tears as much as I could. Kane and her brother are clearly dead. I could have been with them. Those aristocrats at my wedding party, they knew all along, they _knew_ what was going to happen...

"Our army is mainly farmers and merchants! So we're safe and easy for them to destroy!"

"Captain Sagara, what do we do?"

"Captain!"

Sozo closed his eyes and seemed to tune his men out for a minute. Opening them at last, he slapped his hand down on the table. All eyes were on him now. "We cannot defy the commanding general. I will report to the headquarters in Shimosuwa, and I _will_ get this all cleared up."

"Captain." That was Sano. Sozo looked back at him. "Am I going with you?"

"No, Sano. You're going to wait here. You are a Junior soldier and still too young..."

"Captain!"

Sozo paused at the doorway. I crouched against the wall, silencing my sobs the best I could. Sano's voice of diminished hope only made things worse. "I cannot take you beyond this point. You know that."

Sano walked forward, and blocked me from Sozo's view. I looked up at both of them, and I watched the other men exit the room. "It's all right, don't worry about it," Sozo continued.

Don't worry about it? _Don't worry about it? _Is that all you can ever say? I thought as I watched Sozo leave. He hadn't noticed me, but Sano was still at the doorway, looking down at his feet. "Sano..." I reached towards him but he just shook his head. I began to cry and even though only moments ago I had been crouching, I knelt again and just sobbed in my hands.

"Don't cry, Nikoru. I'll make sure he's ok," Sano said, confusing my mourning over Kane and her brother, the whole basic army just falling apart, for any feelings I had over Sozo leaving again. He left and I just sat against the wall, crying silently.

Katsu walked by and ran towards me. "Lady Nikoru!" He helped me to my feet and lead me down the halls. "The Captain is leaving again, he's in your room."

I told Katsu to wait for me in the main hall. I walked slowly and deliberately, so that when I finally reached my room I wasn't crying anymore. I leaned against the doorway and watched Sozo fix some things up in a suitcase.

"I'm glad I could appeal to this misunderstanding," He said, somehow knowing I had shown up.

"I wish you wouldn't leave," I murmured.

Noticing the tone of my voice, he turned around. "Have you been crying?" Sozo asked.

I nodded, my whole self still shaky. "I knew people in the third unit, Sozo. I could have been one of them...dead. Why are we the ones being targeted?" I wondered aloud, even though I knew the answer quite perfectly well. "Who's going to be next?" I continued.

"Exactly," Sozo made his over and rubbed my shoulders comfortingly. "I have to make sure there are no more attacks."

"I hope it ends soon. All of it." I dug my face into his shoulder and tried to forget about Kane, and all the others that have been killed.

Sozo stroked my hair and nodded. "I do too."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

♡♡

I watched the window glaze over, and soon I couldn't see a thing outside. The cold from the rain fogged everything out of focus, and the heavy sound of its dripping slowly caused nerves to creep on my stomach.

The nerves almost never left.

I turned my head away and noticed Katsu laying on his stomach in a corner of the room. With a solemn expression he painted on a single sheet of parchment to pass the time. I couldn't make out what his painting looked like; all I saw was random figures of black ink twisting and turning together.

It seemed the days couldn't end quick enough.

The mansion felt very empty. The early days of my residence here were long gone. Now I was accustomed to the mansions vast expanse of many unused rooms and corridors. The servants no longer were friendly and welcoming; they were accustomed to my presence too and went about with their daily jobs. I hardly even saw them. It seemed the more they never saw me, the better.

Everyday was this same, dreadful silence. A sort of evil spirit took over the house and wouldn't let anyone be happy. The spirit touched everyone one way or another; but I, I thought I was the most depressed out of everybody.

Nothing made me happy. From her travels, Koriin would occasionally bring Katsu and I wonderful gifts. Beautiful kimonos, gorgeous furniture, masterpiece works of art. Nothing amused me. Nothing satisfied me. I spent most of my days like this, seated at a window, gazing outside. I hardly ate or slept. When the rain season came by it was even worse. The rain kept me even more awake than before.

Katsu was always worried over me. He never left my side and I realized if he ever did, that would be the end. Even if we spent the whole day not talking, just knowing he was there beside me kept me sane enough to keep going.

I guess everything first started once Sano left. Sozo had left a few days before that, and Sano wouldn't take no for an answer. He ran away one night and that was the last we ever saw of him. I remember that was the first time I had shed tears concerning this whole ordeal.

Katsu took it even worse. He wasn't the once happy, mature little boy anymore. He was just as depressed as I was. It's been awhile since I've seen him crack a smile. He doesn't play games anymore like other children, and nor does he ever want too. When I ask him what's wrong he doesn't tell me.

I keep telling myself to just stay here and wait. Sano and Sozo will _both_ be back, because that's

all this house needs. We all need feisty little Sano back and we all need loving Sozo back. It's just a matter of time before they come knocking at the door...

Koriin stopped vising and sent letters instead. I grew jealous at how much her life seemed to be flourishing, and mine had succumbed to being stuck in a prison of walls and rooms that never seemed to end. Sure, I could leave the mansion whenever I wanted. But I was so scared that I never even tried. Every time a servant brought forth to me a letter from Koriin, I'd either hide it or rip it to shreds right away. I didn't like reading them anymore. I never replied to them anymore either.

I finally decide to do something, for I didn't like seeing my hands idling about. It saddened me to think that these hands used to do so much at one time. I was like an living dead person, for I began to see my body as completely useless yet I was breathing like a living person.

I walked into a hall bathroom and brought back with me a hair brush. I came back in the previous room and knelt by Katsu, stroking his head. He looked up.

"What's wrong, Lady Nikoru?" He wondered, setting his paints aside.

I started brushing his hair distractedly. "Don't call me that," I told him. "Call me Nikoru, just like you used to before we moved here."

"Alright." Katsu closed his eyes and leaned against me as I ran the brush through his hair again and again.

I stared ahead of me at the door of the room which was left open. I realized there wasn't a soul in the house. Even if the servants didn't like to be seen by me, there usually were one or two walking about.

"Where is everyone?" I ask.

"I'm not sure. I've just been painting the whole time." Katsu leafs through his paintings and I look down at them.

"May I see?" I asked him, setting the brush down. His green eyes stare into mine for a moment, but then he looks back at the papers.

"Nah," He says, then tears them in half. "They weren't any good."

My heart sank. What have I done to this poor boy? "Katsu-," I start, but then a servant appears at the doorway. I look up. His face was grave.

"Lady Nikoru, you have a package." The servant brings to me a small pouch.

I stand up and look at it. "Who is it from?" I wonder.

The servant takes a moment to swallow. "I believe it's from Tatawaki Shindo, staff officer of the government."

I looked at the pouch in puzzlement, and that name doesn't ring a bell in my head. But, it was from the government, so it must have something to do with Sozo...

I was going to ask one more thing but the servant had vanished. Katsu had stood up as well and was staring up at me in anxiety. For a second I thought he was trembling. "Please open it," Katsu asks calmly and I pull the little string.

Inside was a tuft of hair. I lay it on my palm, and a scent of smoke wafts through the room. My mind shut down and I couldn't register what this meant.

Katsu stared at it for a moment then quietly left the room. I replaced the hair and ran up to the room Sozo and I share, running as fast I as I could up the stairs. I opened the door and saw the perfectly clean and organized room, the servants' work. It bothered me and I decided to express my feelings through my room.

I knocked things over and pushed drawers out. I tossed objects around with cries of anguish and ended up breaking the mirror and quite a few other things. I was about to throw a couple of portraits of Sozo and his family when I decided not too. Instead I lay the portraits face down, so I wouldn't have to look at them anymore. When my rage calmed down I walked over to my vanity table. It was cluttered with things I had thrown but one thing was intact. A small jewelry box and that is where I safely hid the pouch of hair.

♡♡

March 3rd. That feels so long ago, yet so close. I hadn't seen Katsu the rest of the day before and next morning, ever since I received that pouch with the tuft of hair inside it. I had yet to think about it and try to figure out what it meant, but I didn't want to know.

I had stayed in bed practically all day. I locked the door so nobody would bother me. I slipped back and forth between sleep to reality yet nothing changed and I felt as if time hadn't moved. I would also occasionally move my arm back and forth across the bed on the space next to me. But Sozo wasn't there.

When I finally did decide to leave the room, there was nobody in the house again. I wasn't suspicious. I felt like eating but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was that moment I heard the door open and shut. I rushed out of the kitchen, Sozo's name on the tip of my tongue for me to scream with happiness at his return.

What I received instead was the image of Katsu looking like he's just risen from the grave. He didn't even look like a little boy anymore, so sallow was his face, so pale and malnourished his whole self was. What had he been up too? Why did he run away? I stood there staring at him.

"He's dead."

I didn't register what he said and couldn't help asking for him to repeat it. "What?" I asked, but more words tumbled out of his mouth and I tried to pay attention.

"I saw Sano, I saw him there too I saw him there was all these people all of them yelling and it was awful so awful Sano was furious I couldn't take it I just ran back home and I can't believe it he's gone and I had to tell you I had too-"

"Stop." I shook my head and pulled at my hair nervously. "Where's Sano? Where did you see him?"

"A-At the square, he was there with everybody else."

"What everybody else?"

"All the town's people."

"What is everyone doing there?"

Katsu didn't answer right away. "I'll take you over there. But I won't see him again, I won't," Katsu shook his head and tears spilled from his eyes.

"See _who_?" I wondered.

"C-Captain Sagara," Katsu sobbed.

"He's here?!" I cry out and my heart flutters for a moment. I start to make my way over to the front door, and Katsu starts rambling on about something again but I try to ignore him yet he's preventing me from stepping outside.

Suddenly a man and a few other people appear out of nowhere, right in front of me at the front door. "Lady Sagara?" He asks and I step back, surprised by how fast they got here.

"Um, yes," I reply flustered.

"I'll have to speak to you for a moment concerning your husband. Let us go to the sitting room," The man says, and with that he began leading me around my own house. I didn't know who he was but he was starting to upset me and I frowned.

"Katsu?" I called out. He had remained behind.

"In here, Lady Sagara," The man ushered me into a room with a sofa and other sitting chairs arranged about. All the people found somewhere to sit and the man told me to lay down on the sofa.

"What is this all about anyway? Where's Sozo?" I demanded.

The man ignored me and introduced himself. I can't remember his name now but he was a doctor.

"I'm here to help you," He replied. I don't remember requesting a doctor's assistance and this

annoyed me greatly.

"I did not ask for you Doctor, I apologize. Now will you please leave my house if you do not have anything else interesting to say?" I tell him rather rudely but I was upset at the moment.

The doctor gave me a long, sad look and removed his eye glasses. "I was requested by your husband's sister, Koriin Sagara. She wanted me to check on you since she cannot be reached at the moment."

"What did she hire _you_ for?" I wonder.

The doctor thumbed through a few sheets of paper he took out from a briefcase. "We're here guide you and assist on the ways of the financial and health support you will be needing through the process of losing a family member-"

"What? Who died?" I ask but the doctor ignores me again and continues, and I feel a headache coming on.

"-Arrested March 2nd ,1st year of Meiji on the creation and continuation of leading a false army against the Imperial Army-"

My head spun and I noticed that the other people in the room stood still as statues with absolutely no emotion played across their faces. Did they not notice the pain I was going through right now? Why did this doctor keep talking and not give me medicine for my headache? He _was_ a doctor, after all...

"-And finally after a decision was executed on March 3rd of this morning, age was twenty nine, no record of children as of last year when they were proclaimed dead, along with former wife-"

"I...I need some water, or medicine...Would you...?" I asked of the doctor, who took no notice, and kept reading, and I turned feebly to one of the other people but it was as if I did not exist. _Maybe I should be paying attention to what this doctor is saying,_ I thought and I try to keep up on what he's talking about now.

"And without further ado, just please sign here, and there-," The doctor thrust a pen into my hand; I saw a sheet of paper slide in front of me, "-And we will have Sozo Sagara's death documents all in order."

I stopped signing whatever it was that I was signing. All I remember was the pen slipping from my hand; I watched it fall slowly through the air and finally hit the ground. My body jerked forward and I met the floor too, just before everything turned black and the voices of people drifted off to somewhere far away.

♡♡

"Hurry! Go get some water, she's coming to!"

I had the worst headache; I placed a cool, sweaty hand against my forehead and groaned quietly. _What happened? Where am I?_ I thought, and it seemed to make me dizzy just thinking.

My eyes tried to focus and I thought I recognized Mei above me from where I was laying in a bed. "Mei," I smiled weakly.

"Sorry hon, I'm not Mei," Replied an unfamiliar voice. Whoever this person was reached out for something someone gave her, then she helped me sit up and lean against the pillows. "Drink," She ordered.

I sipped the cold water and handed the cup back to her. "What happened?" I asked.

"You fainted, sweetheart. But it's alright, it's only been a few hours," The lady replied.

_A few hours? I was out cold_, I thought and as I looked around I realized I was in my room. On top of the Western styled night stand beside me was a photograph of Sozo and I. I smiled and picked it up; gazing at it thoughtfully I wondered if he got back from that meeting yet.

"Excuse me?" I asked of the lady, "Have you gotten any news on whether my husband has gotten back from his meeting?"

The lady gave me a perplexed look and seemed relieved when an older man walked into the room.

"Lady Sagara?" He asked towards me.

"Yes, that's me...," I replied somewhat confused. I wondered what all these people were doing in my house.

"I'm sorry to hear about your reaction. However, we still need these papers signed...," He walked up beside me and handed me some sheets of paper. I skimmed through them and my eyes caught familiar words here and there, but my frown only deepened the more I read.

"What is this?" I wondered. "What happened? Who died? Where's Sozo?" I demanded.

The older man stared at me for a few moments then said, "Well, he got arrested..." He stopped for some reason.

"And?" I asked, but I barely heard myself. My ears were ringing, and with my heart beating as well it seemed to make this loud inner noise within me.

"I'm sorry," The man told me and patted my arm. "But he's gone."

I couldn't process this. Memories from hours ago started coming back. I remembered admitting these people into my house. Then what? Katsu was telling me something, something, what was it? I saw these papers, the man made me sign something...I tried hard to remember but my headache worsened

in result. I had to stop thinking and look for Katsu.

"Where's Katsu?" I wondered more to myself and before anyone could stop me I jumped out of bed and ran out of the room.

I run down all the hallways, frantically yelling out his name. I push open door after door and I don't find him. In my frustration, I start to cry. I didn't want to cry because it fuzzed my vision but I couldn't help it. I felt sick to my stomach and everything just didn't seem right. In this huge empty house I felt exactly that...empty. As I looked for Katsu, I realized I was looking for other people too. Sozo. He was gone, I couldn't find him. My mother wasn't here, Koriin wasn't here, Sano wasn't here..._Where the hell is everybody?_

Finally, I opened one of the last guest rooms and found a throbbing body underneath a mass of blankets. "Katsu?" I ask, and walk forward. The room was dark but I didn't bother turning on any lights. I pushed back the blankets and Katsu was there, curled up and crying his heart out.

"Katsu, what's wrong? What's wrong?" I ask him softly. I was so relieved he was here; finally, something or someone I recognized. I wanted the strange people out of my house.

Katsu looked up at me and threw his arms around me. "Nikoru," He sobbed chokingly.

I tried to calm him down, and began rubbing his back gently as I had my arms around him too. "It's alright. What's bothering you?" I ask him.

"Didn't they tell you?" He demanded.

"Yes. I just don't...," I couldn't even finish. I just wasn't in the state of thinking anymore, seeing as how I didn't want my headache to come back. I was acting purely on impulse, and right now I wanted to comfort Katsu.

"What are we going to do?" Katsu squeaked as he had let go of me and was facing me. "What? What?"

"You need some rest, mister. I'll make you some tea if you'd like," I tell him gently, giving him a smile.

"I-I can't. I can't eat, I can't-," Katsu covered his face with his hands and tried to block the tears. They wouldn't stop. The poor kid was a mess. I decided to make him tea after all, and while I walked back to the kitchen I noticed the strange people had left. However, the man had left the papers to sign on a coffee table in one of the living rooms.

I had made myself tea as well but I wasn't thirsty. Out of anger for that stupid old man, I threw my tea at the papers. After that, ignoring the fact the papers were steaming hot from the tea, I ripped them to shreds and sprinkled the pieces all over the living room.

I set the tea down and ran to the mansion's library. It was dusty and smelled like ink inside. I thought that perhaps the old man liked books, since he seemed the type who liked to read. I pulled out every book I could out of the shelves and one by one heard them drop to the floor. "Take that," I muttered under my breath. To make sure I didn't have any ink to sign those stupid papers, I threw all the ink wells I found against the wall. I laughed and watched the ink drip, stain, and sink itself on the walls.

A servant had heard all the noise and had rushed into the room. "Lady Nikoru! What have you done!" She cried, horrified.

"I will not sign any papers," I told her as I walked past calmly. "And that old man is allowed to read no more."

I picked up the tea tray and made my way back to Katsu. He insisted he didn't want it but he wasn't crying anymore when I came back. However, I had saved one book from the library. I didn't know which one it was, but I sat there with Katsu and I read it to him. I read it to him until the next morning and it was a whole new day. Neither of us could, or had wanted to, sleep.

We stayed in that room another whole day. I knew neither us wanted to go outside of it; outside of that room, was an awful, evil world. A world full of loss and hurt. People didn't understand outside of this room's door, but in the room, Katsu understood everything. We talked to pass the time. It felt good to relive memories with him and reminisce about the past; the Sekihotai days, mostly. I told him what it felt like to fall in love; he said he already knew, but when I asked him who he was in love with he wouldn't say. He told me about all the things he loved to do. He loved to read and write and paint, and that messing with bombs and guns during the Sekihotai was just a hobby. I told him I secretly loved cooking.

It wasn't until a servant forced us to leave the room (with her pleading and begging) that we finally did leave, and all of a sudden I felt vulnerable and depressed all over again. I turned moody and nasty towards all the servants. For some reason I thought it was their fault, that they were to blame for my misery.

I did awful things to them. I locked some of the maids in the rooms they were cleaning when they weren't paying attention. When I asked a servant where Sozo was, and they either wouldn't answer or told me he was "gone" I'd throw things at them and yell at them. Katsu tried to tell me they had nothing to do with it, but other than him, I didn't trust anybody else in that house.

The worst part was the servants wouldn't let me leave my house. I was a prisoner in my own home. The older man who claimed to be a doctor visited often now and I hated him. He told me to stay home too and that I should get rest. I often yelled and threw things at him too.

This all happened between two days. On the next day, I decided not to be nasty. It's only been a few days since Sozo had left and I decided I had nothing to worry about. "But she always rearranges things the wrong way when she cleans," I was telling a picture of Sozo. I was talking about a particular maid I didn't like. "I think she's having affairs with a man right under my nose," I gossiped meanly.

Then out of the blue a servant burst in the room and started telling to put the picture away. I yelled at her but she wouldn't leave. She tugged on the photo to take it from me but I tugged back, insisting on keeping it. She didn't let go and I finally snapped. I slapped her across the face and ran out of the room.

"You're all crazy! You're all out of control!" I yelled through the halls towards all the servants. I thought something I must be doing is wrong, if my own servants are going out of control and not following what I say.

The old man doctor rushed out of a room and took hold of my arm. "Lady Sagara! What are you doing?" He demanded.

"The servants are crazy," I told him.

"Come with me," He said in a gruff tone. He pulled me along with him towards a room he had arranged as a sort of office for himself. "What happened?" He asked.

"A stupid lady tried to take my photo of Sozo away from me," I told him angrily. Then I watched him horrified as he too pulled the photo out of my hands. "Give it back!" I screamed. He pulled out a drawer and hid the photo inside. "No, no!" I cried and slammed my fist again and again on his desk. "Give it back, please!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Lady Sagara," The old man doctor demanded. "The servants aren't going crazy. They're under strict orders by me."

"Why are you here! I didn't tell you to come into my house and order my servants around!" I cried annoyed and tried to wipe the tears running down my cheeks. This stupid doctor made me feel small and useless, like a child.

"This is precisely why. I came to check on you and keep checking up on you; can't you see you're turning into something else? This is exactly why I'm hired, Lady Sagara. I detect if people need me

or not, and I have definitely concluded that you need some help right now."

I wasn't listening to him and instead I heard two servants outside of the door.

"...Yes, out in the square. Horrible sight. His head has been put up for all to see along with the other left over members."

"Oh, dear! It's lucky Lady Nikoru doesn't receive news of anything like this. She'd just about fall apart."

"My friends had all seen it. Just awful..."

I wondered what they were talking about, and even though the doctor was still talking I left the room and sought out who had said that. I didn't find anybody outside of the room, so I figured they had left. I stomped my foot in frustration, but just then the front doors flew open and some servants escorted Mei into the house.

"Nikoru!" Mei cried as tears spilled down her round, small face.

"Mei," I said to myself under my breath. I let her run towards me and give me a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to watch over you," She replied, wiping off her face with a handkerchief. "I heard about your husband. I"m so sorry dear..."

I shook my head and didn't hear the rest she had to say. "How long are you staying?" I cut her off.

"As long as it takes," She replied, nodding to someone behind me. I turned and it was the doctor guy. He bid goodbye and left, and all the while I glared at him. "Come; I'll make you lunch," Mei told me and took my hand.

♡♡

Mei tried the best she could. I knew she did. But just because I had known her almost all my life didn't help matters. I was still depressed, and still had this undying paranoia around me. I was sick and tired of people feeling sorry for me about Sozo. I didn't understand why they had given up so quickly. There was still some time left; it hasn't even been a week yet.

Finally I decided Mei was too much for me to handle. One day I found that all of Sozo's pictures were taken away from my room; I assumed it was Mei that did it. I had been sewing a shirt of Katsu's for him, and when I found out about this I got very angry. I took the scissors I kept with my sewing things and ran the sharp ends against the walls down the hallway. I watched the wallpaper cut easily and wilt as I walked along. I stopped and looked at my left hand. I vaguely wondered if my skin would do the same thing. Mei was coming up the stairs and saw me standing there, facing the wall with my arms bleeding; she screamed and assumed I was attempting suicide.

Mei left after that. I guess I was too much for her to handle too.

After she left I made sure the servants were giving her good byes and busy with her departure. Today was the day I was going to escape. Mei had always hovered around me and kept watch; right now was the time to see if what I heard those servants say that day was true.

I escaped through the back door out the kitchen; after that it took me awhile to orient myself. I forgot the mansion was a big estate and that I had to leave the yard first to actually be out of property. This took a good five minutes but after that I was free. It was strange walking through the streets alone, and by foot. Before I had always either been with Sozo or Koriin, and we'd be in a carriage.

I got near the main square and the crowds got heavier. People were walking through stands and by shops and having a normal shopping day. I walked and gazed around like a foreign person, so long its been since the last time I stepped foot out of my house. I was overall happy to be seeing and remembering all these things, but then I got to a smallish crowd who seemed to all be watching something.

I heard curses and a few yells, and I wanted to find out more. "What's going on?" I asked a man near me.

"Damn false army givin' our people false hope, they sure deserved what happened to them," He replied.

"Excuse me? What army?"

"Have you been under a rock or something? Those _Sekihotai_. They're all right there."

My heart and stomach sank all at the same time. What was this man calling _my_ army a fraud for?

"Are you crazy? The Sekihotai did nothing but try and help everybody," I protested.

"_Help_? That they sure didn't do; the government even found out about their false ways. They're as good as gone now!" The man shouted out and people around him cheered.

"No! The army did what the government told them to do. Captain Sagara only had dreams for these people, for all to be equal one day. Don't you remember?" I snapped.

"Captain Sagara?" A lady piped up. "Why that's the villain!"

"Villain!" People agreed around her.

Shouts and yells were all around me and it was hard to focus. I tried hard not to completely snap and punch that man right in the face. The thought itself was soothing enough that I managed to calm down just a little.

"Who're ya missy, anyway?" The man asked gruffly and pushed my shoulder. Oh, how much my hands were dying to lash out at his stupid face. Before I could even tell him who I was I heard my name being cried out. I turned and saw Katsu running towards me, tears flying from his eyes.

"Nikoru! No!" He called. I had returned to the man and ignored Katsu. But all of a sudden the man wasn't there; all I saw was a sort of wooden cage, off into the distance a yard or so. I squinted and thought I saw what seemed like heads all lined up. I focused more and horror dawned on me when I noticed I recognized some of those heads. Those men were all...

Before I could see them more Katsu had rushed at me, tackling me to the ground. "Don't, don't!" He cried and just as we landed on the ground he got back up again and dragged me out of that crowd.

People started hissing and cursing and I glared at all of them; I saw the man again and spat in his face.

"Why you-!" He bellowed but I made sure to kick him hard in the leg before Katsu started to walk faster and completely dragged me out from there.

"Are you crazy?!" Katsu demanded when we were far away from the square. "What were you thinking, running away like that? And stirring up a crowd?"

"I didn't stir up anything," I muttered. "It was all that stupid man's fault, and all those other people. Did you hear what they said about Sozo? _Did you hear_?" I snapped.

Katsu sighed and stopped. I looked down at him. "Yes. I was here on the first day, when they...But never mind this. You can't do this Nikoru; you have to stop going against everybody. The whole country is in chaos and you doing this isn't helping any. I heard the doctor, if you act up again...," Katsu stopped and looked about ready to cry again.

"What?" I wondered hurriedly.

"Just don't be bad anymore, alright? Everyone's starting to think you're going crazy," Katsu explained.

_So they think I'm crazy, huh? _I thought grimly. _I'll show them crazy._ But it felt almost unfair to do this to Katsu. I was all he had left. But all of a sudden the street blanked out and I wasn't walking with Katsu back home anymore. I saw Sozo's head sitting there for all to see, inside that cage. I saw the crowds leering at him. I saw his face walking out the door the last day I saw him...

I guess it was now you can say that it finally sunk in. It got hard to breathe and Katsu had to sit me down somewhere until I relaxed. Tears rushed down my face and I began questioning things. What's going to happen now? What will I do? What will Katsu do? Am I going to just live in that huge house all by myself, some miserable widow for everyone to pity? Will my sudden break downs cause more and more strange doctors to just come in and try to change me?

The moment I stepped through the threshold of that mansion, I felt a sudden and complete change. This mansion wasn't mine. I had no right to live in it. I couldn't be in charge of Katsu, either. I saw the poor boy walking ahead, saying something that I couldn't make out as he left me standing by myself by the entrance. I wasn't his mother; I couldn't even _be_ a mother. I was young. I had only gotten married months ago. Now I was a widow. Things move too fast...

I felt guilty. I shouldn't of have driven Mei away. I shouldn't of have treated Sozo's servants the way I did. Now I'm going to be sent into some crazy house and Katsu will be left all by himself, and nobody understands him more than I do. Who knows if Koriin hadn't died too? Everyone was, after all, leaving me. There really was no reason to remain, and burden others.

I walked to the kitchen and told all the servants inside to leave. After they did so I skimmed every drawer and cupboard for anything, anything I can use. I found no knives, not even forks. Nothing.

I walked to a random room and searched it. I passed a mirror while I was there and my own face scared me. Whoever it was that I saw hadn't slept in weeks, and didn't have the need or want to care for anything anymore. Not even herself. What had happened? It was as if I had withered away from the person I used to be. This only proved that I was in fact ready to leave this stupid, cruel world. Besides, perhaps I could reunite with Sozo when I died. It all seemed so soothing.

I heard a man's voice call my name. I panicked and rushed out of the room, guilty for my suicidal thoughts. The doctor spotted me and started to come towards me. "What's the matter, Nikoru? You look as if you've just seen a ghost. Perhaps you need to lie down..."

"No," I muttered, then screamed louder, "No!" as I ran past him and to my room. It broke my heart to see that room in the whole new light that was my life; the memories only seemed to make everything worse. All of a sudden I was glad somebody took all the pictures away. But someone had also taken away anything sharp from the room.

"God damn it!" I cried and started to cry.

"Nikoru?" The doctor was making his way up the stairs.

I ran to the window and tried to open it; somebody had locked it. I started pounding on it until it broke, the shards of glass flying everywhere and cutting my already bruised arms.

"Nikoru!"

Panicking, I started to rip and break more of the window. I didn't care that my hands were bleeding from the glass cutting them, I just needed to make a bigger hole so I could escape. Just as I heard many footsteps coming up the stairs and sprinting down the hallway towards my room, I ducked and tried to fit myself through the window. There was a slight step out of it because of the wall, but other than that it was a long way down.

"Nikoru!" That was Katsu. I dared not turn around to get one last look at him. _I'm sorry_, I told him silently. I sniffed and tried to stop crying because it showed too much weakness. I reached my other leg up and began placing my foot on the sill.

All I had to do was lean a little more and let gravity itself just take me down, down, until I was just a splat of body parts on the ground. In just a few seconds and I would have been with my mother, my father, my husband, everybody I loved and missed so much. I wouldn't have to deal with reality anymore and wouldn't be depressed.

But in the end I really was too weak. Maybe I knew the doctor was steps behind me and I let him grab me and pull me back from the window; maybe I didn't know and I really was going to jump. Anyway, he pulled me back and I fell on the ground, sobbing and stretching my arms out so I wouldn't get blood on the carpet. Drops fell on me and on my face and the familiar scent wafted throughout the room.

"Get a towel, for God's sake, somebody!" The doctor shouted. While everyone who had witnessed this panicked and ran every which way, he looked down at me and gave me a long, sad look. "It was worse than I thought," He said, more to himself. "So now you understand my job. Why I came to your house uninvited. I'm here to save you, Lady Sagara. But please, don't think you're anything special. I've dealt with as many suicidal widows as you can count, and believe me, it's a tiring job. You were quite a feisty one," He then got a towel handed to him and he began wiping my arms and face for me.

"I can't stay here," I told him between bursts of tears.

"Don't worry, you won't have too anymore. We'll take you to a nice, safe place. You'll learn to appreciate your life again in no time." He picked me up and carried me out of the room, and down stairs. We passed Katsu on the way and he gave me a worried, panicked look. His little lips trembled and I reached for his hand.

"What now, Nikoru, what now?" He whispered.

"I'm sorry," Was all I could reply.

After they got me cleaned up, they had me wait by the front of the house for a carriage. They were sending me away. I didn't know whether to be relieved or guilty, but I was for one guilty. I felt horrible that I should leave little Katsu behind, after so much has happened to him too, after so many of the people he once trusted had left. It broke my already broken heart, and as we both waited for the carriage I reached out and grasped his hand.

"You know I'm sorry. You know I don't mean to leave you all alone in the world like this, now that everybody has left you. It's not right, it's not, but you have to understand_ I'm_ not right, I _need _to go and it's-," I start.

Katsu cut me off by slowly shaking his head. "I'm used to being alone. Having to fend for myself. I didn't always have such family and friends as I did when you, the Captain, and Sano were around. Those were the best days of my life. I guess good things don't last, and maybe I should have saw it coming. But don't feel sorry, Lady Nikoru. Think of me in a happy way, as I will be thinking of you," He gave me a wonderful smile and I couldn't help smiling back at this brave kid.

"You know, you're the bravest out of all of us," I told him quietly. "You are the last one remaining. You've yet to run away, die, or go crazy." We both laughed hollowly. I patted his head and ran my fingers through his hair the way a loving mother does. "Keep at it. The world will be nice one day."

"I'll enjoy that nice world with you one day, Nikoru. I will. I'll wait, I'll wait for you!" Katsu looked serious and sounded serious. "I...I love you, Lady Nikoru. I always have."

"You're just a boy," I reply more to myself. Katsu didn't stop his staring, staring straight into my soul.

"I don't care. I was happy you got Sozo. After he died, I knew I was the one to take care of you just as he would have done. I knew it was up to me. I've stayed by your side. You need to know that this was all out of love, that though I'm merely a boy, I have grown to fall in love with you!" He said to me passionately.

It seemed we needed more time. But of course, the world doesn't work that way. I heard the carriage before I saw it, and I didn't know what to make of this confession. "Stay strong," I told Katsu and that was the last thing I said to him.

The doctor and his own servants were waiting for me to bid goodbye and get ready to leave. I hugged Katsu like there was no tomorrow, and once I was inside the carriage, he had run alongside it until he couldn't run anymore.

"That your son?" A servant accompanying me asked.

"Sort of," I replied with a small smile. Just before Katsu got too far away, I made sure to unearth something from a pouch from the inside of my coat. It was my red ribbon, the one possession that has gone through everything I have and still remained. I believed it to be something I couldn't hold on to anymore, because I got the feeling I'd be starting a new life from now on.

I stuck my hand out the window and let go; the wind played with the ribbon, twirling it and sending it riding through the air as I left it behind. As the red ribbon fell, I hoped Katsu would catch it and hold on to it. Perhaps it would indeed be, a long time before we saw each other again.

-1868, 1st Year of Meiji


End file.
